[Albion] The newest member of the Brighton fan club....

Little Ms Spongy no2 arrived today at 12.26pm weighing a surprisingly small 6lb 14oz.

Mrs Spongy and Charlotte Elizabeth are doing great after a quick labour.

But I'm feeling a bit empty and lost right now.

Mrs Spongy had gestational diabetes with this one so the pregnancy has been a tad complicated. The decision was made a month ago to induce labour yesterday 2 weeks early.

Yesterday we turned up and I was probably somewhat naive thinking baby would be born yesterday. The induction started at 11.50am and after a good 10 hours of agony (and no full labour) the midwife gave Mrs Spongy a shot of pethadine to help.

It made Mrs Spongy a lot more comfortable so she (and I) could and rest but it also stopped the labour.

After 24 hours of being awake watching her whilst she slept her mum turned up and I took the time to shoot home, shower, get some stuff ready at home and head back.

I got back to hospital 2 hours later at 10.45. Proper contractions started at 11.00. Mrs Spongy s dreaming for epidural and anaesthethetists, but went from 2cm to 5cm in next to no time, by the time he arrived, put the canulars in and told us the dangers she was over 8cm and it was too late.

Charlotte Elizabeth Spongy was born at 12.26pm. After 9 pushes, in one go, no messing about.

I've spent the last few hours trying to digest what's just happened with parents and family visiting etc and have no idea what the **** iis going on.

Ms Spongy no1 is over the moon and beaming about being a big sister, my parents took her home after the visit in floods of tears be cause she didnt want to leave us but we couldnt let her stay as being 4 years old she be climbing the walls after an hour.

Shes staying at nana and grandads tonight,

I've just returned home after being told to have a good nights sleep by Mrs Spongy as shes going to be kept in for 3 days for checks due to the diabetes.

So I'm sitting at home now with a can of cider. Alone. And I feel lost, I've been awake since 5.30 yesterday. I should sleep but I cant, I've got so much running through my head.

Some of you may have my post recently on the housing thread and it's all I can think about now.

I'm now 40, with 2 kids, and still renting be cause I cant afford to buy. I cant afford to save now either.

Little ms spongy1 goes to school where we used to live. But if we cant move back there todays arrival wont get a place there. Do I now accept I'll never make it back there? Do we pull no1 out to a school nearer to us now to guarantee a place for no2 where we now are? But theres no guarantee our landlord will want us to stay where we are now in 3 years when it's time to apply for a place at school.

I've always told myself that the LEAST I should do is provide for my children the same quality and security that my parents provided for me.

Right now I'm not doing that. So am I failing? My friends tell me I'm a good dad to my children, and I think I am, no1 is a very happy, intelligent and independent (much to my annoyance, I fed up of arguing and being beaten in an argument by 4 year old logic)

But other important things such as stability I cant provide, I'm 40 ****ing years old. No home to call my own, the chances of buying a house get slimmer by the month, 25 year terms and me being 27 years from retirement is a no go with no deposit.

If I wanted a 100% mortgage, which I need, our joint income needs to be £120k a year. We are currently £75k a year short of that.

If we go without frivolous stuff such as food every month I could put £250 a month into the help to buy isa maybe, so in 10 years I shall have a deposit. What ****ing good is that to me? I'll be 50.

Sorry about this. I'm a completely knackered and emotionally drained person right now. But any answers on what I should do right now would be appreciated.

Please someone tell me how I provide a decent stable family home I can our own to this this little beauty of a daughter....

Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. I know there's a lot going through your head but just look at the picture and smile and know everything is going to work out OK in the long run.

I don't have any advice apart from get some sleep mate.

And congratulations! Loving your kids and being there for them emotionally is far more important than money.

You are there for your family, that's all that they need.

Well done mate.

No easy answers, but congratulations. She's beautiful and I'm sure you'll do your absolute best for her and the family.

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your daughter.
I have two of a similar age (5 and 8 months). I fully empathise with what your saying, not long ago I was in the same sort of situation. You become consumed by the sense that you SHOULD own your home, otherwise you have failed your kids. But that’s not the case.
I won’t patronise you with “it’ll all be alright” slogans, and I don’t have any answers. But I understand what’s going on for you.

Your best option is a good sleep, to relax and clear your mind.

You have a definite case of post natal anxiety, which causes things to seem worse than they actually are, due to stress and tiredness.

There are options around to resolve your questions, and suggest that you investigate them when rested.

You are the pround father of a beautiful healthy new daughter, and that Mrs Spongy and Ms Spongy 1 are both happy and healthy. From that point of view, you're doing a blinding job.

Congratulations, and best wishes.. [emoji4][emoji4]


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My advice is this.

You've just witnessed a little miracle. A child being born.

There is no doubt you will do your best for her.

Your future circumstances will fall into place when considered bit by bit.

Right now you are in no position to assess them.

You won't add a hair to your head by worrying. Let tomorrow take care of itself.

Congratulations Spongy.

There was a new member as well this week, with my first arriving on Tuesday 2nd July, at 18:50, weighing a healthy 7lb 8oz.

Maisie Ava Renn.

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, I hope you managed to get some sleep.

ATB

Mate you are very tired and very emotional and from what I have read a VERY caring parent who loves his children which to me is the #1 most important thing,your kids will always have that stability of knowing that you love them so much and will do anything for them.You have a beautiful new baby,congratulations and just enjoy giving her the love she needs!

Congratulations Spongy (and Jimmehh).

High emotions, lack of sleep and cider aren’t a good combination for seeing things rationally. Enjoy the moment and things will fall into place in time.

It seems like you have a wonderful wife, daughter and new baby so focus your time on how lucky you are. Seems like you have a decent wider family also.

Concentrate on what you have, not on what you haven’t. Good luck.

Congratulations. Hope you got some sleep.

It was Thatcher who majored on and bigger up the property owning democracy bit. There are other countries where it is much more the norm to rent.

But it's obvious you care, and care greatly, and you've got people who care around you. Good luck.

Congratulations and best wishes somethings in life are more important and you’ve just got another one of those , good luck


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DavidinSouthampton said:

Congratulations. Hope you got some sleep.

It was Thatcher who majored on and bigger up the property owning democracy bit. There are other countries where it is much more the norm to rent.

But it's obvious you care, and care greatly, and you've got people who care around you. Good luck.

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This. And congratulations to the new 2nd time dad.

spongy said:

Little Ms Spongy no2 arrived today at 12.26pm weighing a surprisingly small 6lb 14oz.

Mrs Spongy and Charlotte Elizabeth are doing great after a quick labour.

But I'm feeling a bit empty and lost right now.

Mrs Spongy had gestational diabetes with this one so the pregnancy has been a tad complicated. The decision was made a month ago to induce labour yesterday 2 weeks early.

Yesterday we turned up and I was probably somewhat naive thinking baby would be born yesterday. The induction started at 11.50am and after a good 10 hours of agony (and no full labour) the midwife gave Mrs Spongy a shot of pethadine to help.

It made Mrs Spongy a lot more comfortable so she (and I) could and rest but it also stopped the labour.

After 24 hours of being awake watching her whilst she slept her mum turned up and I took the time to shoot home, shower, get some stuff ready at home and head back.

I got back to hospital 2 hours later at 10.45. Proper contractions started at 11.00. Mrs Spongy s dreaming for epidural and anaesthethetists, but went from 2cm to 5cm in next to no time, by the time he arrived, put the canulars in and told us the dangers she was over 8cm and it was too late.

Charlotte Elizabeth Spongy was born at 12.26pm. After 9 pushes, in one go, no messing about.

I've spent the last few hours trying to digest what's just happened with parents and family visiting etc and have no idea what the **** iis going on.

Ms Spongy no1 is over the moon and beaming about being a big sister, my parents took her home after the visit in floods of tears be cause she didnt want to leave us but we couldnt let her stay as being 4 years old she be climbing the walls after an hour.

Shes staying at nana and grandads tonight,

I've just returned home after being told to have a good nights sleep by Mrs Spongy as shes going to be kept in for 3 days for checks due to the diabetes.

So I'm sitting at home now with a can of cider. Alone. And I feel lost, I've been awake since 5.30 yesterday. I should sleep but I cant, I've got so much running through my head.

Some of you may have my post recently on the housing thread and it's all I can think about now.

I'm now 40, with 2 kids, and still renting be cause I cant afford to buy. I cant afford to save now either.

Little ms spongy1 goes to school where we used to live. But if we cant move back there todays arrival wont get a place there. Do I now accept I'll never make it back there? Do we pull no1 out to a school nearer to us now to guarantee a place for no2 where we now are? But theres no guarantee our landlord will want us to stay where we are now in 3 years when it's time to apply for a place at school.

I've always told myself that the LEAST I should do is provide for my children the same quality and security that my parents provided for me.

Right now I'm not doing that. So am I failing? My friends tell me I'm a good dad to my children, and I think I am, no1 is a very happy, intelligent and independent (much to my annoyance, I fed up of arguing and being beaten in an argument by 4 year old logic)

But other important things such as stability I cant provide, I'm 40 ****ing years old. No home to call my own, the chances of buying a house get slimmer by the month, 25 year terms and me being 27 years from retirement is a no go with no deposit.

If I wanted a 100% mortgage, which I need, our joint income needs to be £120k a year. We are currently £75k a year short of that.

If we go without frivolous stuff such as food every month I could put £250 a month into the help to buy isa maybe, so in 10 years I shall have a deposit. What ****ing good is that to me? I'll be 50.

Sorry about this. I'm a completely knackered and emotionally drained person right now. But any answers on what I should do right now would be appreciated.

Please someone tell me how I provide a decent stable family home I can our own to this this little beauty of a daughter....View attachment 112457

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Congrats on the baby.
The other stuff will work out

Dale Jasper said:

Congrats on the baby.
The other stuff will work out

Click to expand...

I’m not in a position to help out my kids mortgage wise so my daughter and son in law are staying with us for 18 mouths or so to save a deposit. They can save £1,400/£1,500 a month they reckon.
And besides I get to see my 13 month old grandson every day and he’s brilliant.

congratulations to you and your family adding to the seagull family, hope everybody is well.
Lovely picture.

congratulations to you and your family adding to the seagull family, hope everybody is well.
Lovely picture.

Give your kids the best that you can, you cannot give more than that. A whole lot of love will outweigh a shed load of money.

Questions said:

I’m not in a position to help out my kids mortgage wise so my daughter and son in law are staying with us for 18 mouths or so to save a deposit. They can save £1,400/£1,500 a month they reckon.
And besides I get to see my 13 month old grandson every day and he’s brilliant.

Click to expand...

This seems to be a less fashionable way of doing things these days, but it worked for myself and Mrs DFP. We moved in with my dad and lived like hermits for 2 years, we were both on less than £1000pm after tax (in 2013) but saved £23,000 which was enough for a deposit on a lovely 2 bed flat in Southwick. It’s nit ideal at the time, but the motivation of having your own home makes up for it.