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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by London Pompous View Post
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    I'm a pensioner and tapped a youngster on the bum recently as he was coming down a ladder after I'd lured him to my house on a pretence.

    I then offered him a beer in the hope of getting him a bit tipsy and having my wicked way with him, but he seemed to get wind of my advances and left, calling me a dirty old man.

    That seemed a bit harsh, I only wanted a bit of rumpo, wasn't expecting Boston Pancakes, Belgian Biscuits or a quick ring a roses with the local rugby XV, but the youth of today, far too oversensitive if you ask me.
    I realise your pension only stetches so far but I thought your offer of £10 was a bit on the mean side. If you could perhaps stretch to £15 I might reconsider.

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    • #22
      Members Washie's Avatar
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      Being 27, I've never really lived in a time where it was accepted. Yet one thing I've never understood is why do it?
    • #23
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Questions View Post
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      It’s just suddenly dawned on me why in Guylians Seashell/mollusks praline selection they never included a ‘chocolate starfish’

      What fun in the office and when nan came at xmas that would have been.
      For some reason, I had in my head that Haribo had brought out a selection of puckered balloon knots, but I can't for the life of me find them anywhere.

      Must've dreamt it.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"
    • #24
      Part time moderator Giraffe's Avatar
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      If someone's trouser/skirt bum is on fire is it more acceptable?
    • #25
      Members Meade's Ball's Avatar
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      5 Not allowed!
      A chap at work is aware of my mild/intense discomfiture at human contact, and he spends some of his time invading my space in different ways - he has horrendously chilly hands, which lovingly swat my facial cheeks of a morning. Recently, he's begun to pat me on the bumbadeer to get me to new flinch levels. It is becoming the norm now though, and i wonder if i am getting used to it, even to the point where i'd somehow miss it if my rear was unmeddled with of a day. Maybe after 3 years of incessant tampering and fiddling he'll have fully broken down my barriers and i can be the nudist that the inner me clearly perhaps is, my ghastly unclothed form waddling around mostly empty beaches and sticky active glades of the night.
      Milk, milk, lemonade
      Round the corner chocolate's made
    • #26
      Harry Wilson's Tackle Harry Wilson's tackle's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      Rather than posting a new thread I'll add this important bit of news to this. As sent to my work email today by a colleague. Warning, it is bum-related.

      "FDA warns of one death linked to fecal transplants

      The FDA on Thursday warned medical and scientific communities and other interested persons* of the potential risk of transmitting multi-drug resistant organisms (MDROs) via poop trans-plants, otherwise known as fecal microbiota for transplantation (FMT)."


      In case you are wondering:

      "Fecal microbiota transplant (FMT), also known as a stool transplant, is the process of transplantation of fecal bacteria from a healthy individual into a recipient. FMT involves restoration of the colonic microflora by introducing healthy bacterial flora through infusion of stool, e.g. by colonoscopy, enema, orogastric tube or by mouth in the form of a capsule containing freeze-dried material, obtained from a healthy donor. The effectiveness of FMT has been established in clinical trials for the treatment of Clostridioides difficile infection (CDI), whose effects can range from diarrhea to pseudomembranous colitis."

      *One can only wonder. The mind boggles.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0Q93v7hGZA
      It's only them that aren't their targets that love the violent and the madmen
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MLijS6Cstk
    • #27
      Habitual User Questions's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Meade's Ball View Post
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      A chap at work is aware of my mild/intense discomfiture at human contact, and he spends some of his time invading my space in different ways - he has horrendously chilly hands, which lovingly swat my facial cheeks of a morning. Recently, he's begun to pat me on the bumbadeer to get me to new flinch levels. It is becoming the norm now though, and i wonder if i am getting used to it, even to the point where i'd somehow miss it if my rear was unmeddled with of a day. Maybe after 3 years of incessant tampering and fiddling he'll have fully broken down my barriers and i can be the nudist that the inner me clearly perhaps is, my ghastly unclothed form waddling around mostly empty beaches and sticky active glades of the night.
      I think he’s got you ready - if you don’t mind me saying MB - for some Rocky Mountain cave lurking.
      now my friends have gone,
      and my hair is grey,
      and I ache in the places that I used to play.
    • #28
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      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      If I tapped anyone on the arse at work, I'd probably end up in a disciplinary.

      There was a rather excellent story in the news yesterday about a bloke who bought cakes in on his birthday and emailed the department to let them know. The email went:

      “There are doughnuts on Alf’s desk as it’s my birthday today. I hope people like Krispy Kremes - I know Soraya enjoys a glazed ring.”

      Soraya didn't see the funny side though, and replied: “This is absolutely totally unacceptable James. There are limits to ‘jokes’ you can send at work copying in all colleagues - this is extremely rude and offensive. Please note that this will be forwarded to HR - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

      He's been suspended.

      https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...azed-ring.html

      Know your audience!! Epic fail
    • #29
      Members The Clamp's Avatar
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      Watch NFL. They don’t seem to be able to keep their mitts off each other’s bottoms.
      Like all overtly masculine pursuits, it has a rumour of homo-eroticism about it.
      But, if you want your bum touched and you like touching bums, fill yer boots.
      Love Great Britain
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      Love Inclusion and Progression.
    • #30
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      0 Not allowed!
      Cos we saw it on TV in the 70's!

      Quote Originally Posted by Washie View Post
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      Being 27, I've never really lived in a time where it was accepted. Yet one thing I've never understood is why do it?

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