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[Humour] Private Eye Commentatorballs



jakarta

Well-known member
May 25, 2007
15,616
Sullington
Used to be Colemanballs for those old enough...

Anyway our Chris has made the latest edition with:

You don't become a bad team overnight - you have to wait for the opportunity... :lolol:
 


Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
61,674
Location Location
There was one I heard from a co-commentator just the other day (Jenus ?) when a player was down receiving treatment on the pitch and some of the opposition players were gesturing like he was feigning it. he said something like:

"Look, he's not just laying down there receiving treatment for the good of his own health now, is he ?"

Errr...
 


Flagship

Well-known member
Jan 15, 2018
424
Brighton
I was watching a women's rugby match and there was a passage of play which got very scrappy with a lot of handling errors and the ball eventually rolled through a player's legs.

The commentry went - its all getting very messy (pause) between the legs.
 












vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
27,867
" Juanterena opened his legs and showed his class "
 




Superphil

Dismember
Jul 7, 2003
25,398
In a pile of football shirts
Wasn’t there a weightlifting one where the commentator said something along the lines of “and she’s showed us her snatch”

BTW, careful how you google that one.
 




Sirnormangall

Well-known member
Sep 21, 2017
2,940
The club also got a mention in the “message boards” section of the previous edition of Private Eye. We’ve made the big time - and we’re now on for a hat-trick ( possibly our only hat-trick of the season - ignoring consecutive losses).
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,337
Faversham
There’s only one word for that... Magic darts.

This.

Actually it was 'You can some that up in one word - magic darts' :laugh:

Illingworth has just relieved himsef at the pavillion end

Batsman's Holding, bowler's Willey

And the Germans are everywhere.................****z
 




Dick Head

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jan 3, 2010
13,612
Quaxxann
He’s going for the green and for those watching in black and white it’s behind the brown.
 




Tim Over Whelmed

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 24, 2007
10,165
Arundel
If history's going to repeat itself you can bet that'll happen again. T Venables!
 






rippleman

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2011
4,521
I've got a feeling our Liam had one in there fairly recently too.

I will have a look through my back issues tonight.
 




Blackadder

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 6, 2003
16,077
Haywards Heath
" Juanterena opened his legs and showed his class "

That was a great line, always blamed on Coleman. it was actually Ron Pickering who said it. :)
 


8049

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2015
326
Berkshire
Used to get Colemanballs book every Christmas. One of my favourites was "Derby County are on the peak of a trough".
 



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