Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

[Misc] World's Hardest Creature XII - Semi Final - Match 1 - Jaguar v Seagull

Who's the hardest?

  • Jaguar

    Votes: 38 65.5%
  • Seagull

    Votes: 20 34.5%

  • Total voters
    58
  • Poll closed .


jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
7,692
Woking
Screenshot 2019-03-17 at 21.50.40.png

Good evening. I'm Chris Packham and I'm bringing you NSC's continuing coverage of WHC XII. We've reached the semi final stage and the first match provides a guaranteed route to the final for an initially unfancied competitor. Both the Jaguar and Seagull came through dramatic quarter finals to be here and have gained many new admirers along the way. The Seagull has the most votes received at this stage but the Jaguar seems to be gaining new admirers as the tournament progresses. Let's take a look at the tale of the tape...

Jaguar
2nd Round - 33 votes - beat the Tasmanian Devil
Quarter Final - 32 votes - drew against the Polar Bear
Total knockout votes received - 65

Jaguar.jpg

The Jaguar has reached the last five of WHC for the first time in three years of trying. Since making its debut in 2017 it has been something of an unheralded competitor but things are now starting to click for the forest ninja. It scored a dramatic last minute equaliser to draw with the Polar Bear and earn its place in the semis. The Jag will fancy its chances of going all the way despite coming up against the surprise package of this year's tournament.

The Jaguar is an apex predator but seems to have gone under the radar all these years, perhaps due to its having more glamorous members of the big cat clan taking all the plaudits. It possesses a fearsome ambush and is the proud owner of its own signature strike. It kills with a single bite to the head, crushing the skull of its prey. It does this with a bite force that rivals the very best on the planet. At 1,500 pounds per square inch, it is only beaten by members of the crocodile clan and the Hippo. Just think about that for a moment. Stronger than the far larger tiger: stronger than the Polar Bear that pushed it so hard in the last round. Pound for pound it has the strongest bite force of them all and uses it to devastating effect.

If you're far away it can stalk you. If you're nearby it can pounce on you. If you're in a tree it can climb to you. If you're in water it can swim out to you. Basically, you don't want to be getting too close to this badass.

Here's another video showing the prowess of the Jaguar. Here we see it taking out a Caiman. It leaves the safety of dry land to fight in the Caiman's terrain. It also breaks from the big cat tradition of only having strength enough for short attacks. Here it not only has the strength to win a lengthy encounter but to drag its prey out of a running river. This is hardness of the type required at this stage of the competition.




Seagull
2nd Round - 33 votes - beat the Great White Shark
Quarter Final - 49 votes - beat the Honey Badger
Total knockout votes received - 82

Seagull.png

It's the definitive Angry Bird. Here comes the Seagull and what a tournament it is having. It has taken down two of the big beasts of the tournament in the Great White Shark and Honey Badger and has even outscored the Hippo at this point. The Seagull may now even consider itself the favourite.

Feisty, tenacious, inventive, versatile and capable of delivering precision targeted shit; the Seagull is more than just a scavenger after your chips. The Seagull has colonised all corners of Planet Earth and you don't get to do that simply by nicking cup cakes and jelly babies. It's a superlative hunter, taking food on the wing, at sea and on land.

But while the Seagull is a magnificently involved eating machine, its hard credentials are undoubtedly derived from its ballsy attitude. Is there one of us here that hasn't been on the end of a Seagull mic drop? Attacks on humans have skyrocketed in recent years, as Seagulls have seemingly reached the stage where they think they have our number and are plotting total world domination.

Here we see Seagulls basically screwing things up as only they can.

 

jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
7,692
Woking
Calm any pre-match nerves by taking a moment to consider the relative hardness of these two bad boys. Tight contest in the early stages.
 

JJ McClure

Go Jags
Jul 7, 2003
10,800
Hassocks
Not sure the Seagull is hard, its just a hooligan, a symbol of broken Britain, stealing peoples chips and craping on its own doorstep. It ought to be in juvenile detention or on Jeremy Kyle not in WHC.
 

Garry Nelson's Left Foot

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,036
tokyo
Jaguar all day, every day.

The seagull's a bit of a scally, a trouble making pest but it's not hard. The Jaguar is.

The Jaguar is a sleek, highly refined killing machine. It brings death on land, in water and in the air. It's fast, it's smart, it's brave(hunts other Apex animals) and has its own skull crushing kill move.

VOTE JAGUAR.
 


wunt be druv

Oh bugger..!
Jun 17, 2011
2,130
In my own strange world
Seagull,always,watched one this morning swooping around the roads leading to Wunt be Druv Heights and saw it deliberately aim itself at a car,trying to headbutt a moving car,which coincidently happened to be a Jaguar! Would you see a Jaguar trying to headbutt a moving vehicle? No,it would just skulk around waiting for darkness,being too scared to emerge during daylight.
 

The_Viper

Well-known member
Oct 10, 2010
4,345
Charlotte, NC
Seagull,always,watched one this morning swooping around the roads leading to Wunt be Druv Heights and saw it deliberately aim itself at a car,trying to headbutt a moving car,which coincidently happened to be a Jaguar! Would you see a Jaguar trying to headbutt a moving vehicle? No,it would just skulk around waiting for darkness,being too scared to emerge during daylight.

The Jag wouldn't headbutt a moving car, it'd just trap you in there and crush your head if you try to get out in moments. Picture Cujo but instead of mindless and rabid it's a cold, calculated killer.

Not only that but the Seagull is done, if it dives into the water to escape the Jag the Jag just follows it in and kills it. Wanting to dive bomb the Jag? It just catches it out of the air and kills it. On land it's a massacre. The Jaguar won't even deign the gull worthy of a meal, it'll just kill it for sport and move on.

Oh and on this note? "it is only beaten by members of the crocodile clan and the Hippo" - A Hippo and Croc can't climb trees, bunch of FRAUDS.
 


jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
7,692
Woking
OK. Here we go. There are 31 hours of voting remaining and, while we've all been engaged in our own bedwetting meltdown, the Jaguar has quietly pulled away from the Seagull. This contest has sparked some in treating debate but not nearly enough. Now it's time to get serious. Take your time, consider the evidence, make your voice heard.

Seconds out... round two!
 

A1X

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Sep 1, 2017
17,423
Deepest, darkest Sussex
*Insert joke about seagulls falling behind the eight ball late on here*
 

Eeyore

Lord Donkey of Queen's Park
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Apr 5, 2014
23,291
I think the Seagull is more the PPF of the competition.

Thinks it hard but a simple growl and flexing of puny muscles and it flies away in terror.
 


LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
I think the Seagull is more the PPF of the competition.

Thinks it hard but a simple growl and flexing of puny muscles and it flies away in terror.

In Brighton recently I saw a Mexican standoff between two seagulls stood on a car and about 15 pigeons on some windowsills. It looked as if it was all about to kick off until a toddler pointed and shouted at the seagulls and they flew away to hide on a roof.

Vote JAG.
 

jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
7,692
Woking
When I was running the marathon at the weekend I saw a bunch of about 4 seagulls ducking up and down trying to pick up jelly babies while avoiding the oncoming several thousand runners. Not quite the same as lunging at a Croc but shows a measure of determination and bloody mindedness I suppose.
 

Surf's Up

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2011
10,135
Here
The numbers voting underline what a boring and uninteresting competition this is without THE world's hardest creature in it!
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,738
Playing snooker
If The World's Hardest Creature Competition were indeed a creature, it would have been put out of its misery several years ago,
 

jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
7,692
Woking
A skull crushing win for the Jaguar, who will take its place in the WHC final for the first time. A bruising encounter with the Hippo awaits it early next week.
 

Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports

Paying the bills

Latest Discussions

Paying the bills

Paying the bills

Paying the bills


Top
Link Here