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  1. #1
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    Having a pet put down and the guilt that follows


    13 Not allowed!
    Dear all, I thought I'd ask the great and good of NSC if they had any advice on coming to terms with losing a pet (in my case a 14 year-old Staffy)

    My Obi was a Battersea rescue and was 9 years old when he adopted us. It has been such a joy to have him in our lives an all has been well until about 10 days ago when he started leaving traces of blood on his blanket (when licking his paw or chewing a treat) Obi had lost a few damaged teeth that he had broken in the past so I put it down to gum problems. On Friday we took him to the vet only to find there was a growth in the roof of his mouth. Blood tests showed his liver enzymes were high too. We were told to take him back on Monday morning to have the growth (or as much of it as possible) removed for biopsy which we did at 8.30am. At around 11 o'clock my missus took a call and I knew it wasn't good news. There were tumours in Obi's lungs and something showed up on the ultrasound of his tummy. He was still under sedation. The vet asked did we want to continue with the tests. You can imagine the state the pair of us were in - I blubbed to the vet that we didn't want Our Boy suffering and did she think it best (for him) to just let him slip away quietly. She replied that in her opinion that at Obi's age his little body likely wouldn't have been up to all the stress of operations and treatments on that amount of issues. She said that, if we wanted, she would let him go (Obi's favourite nurse was there with him) and to give it an hour before going down to see him to say our goodbyes. We did this, he was laid out under a blanket and looked so peaceful.

    But after a couple of days I'm still wracked with guilt - he was still his jolly old self, eating well and still wanting to go up the park (albeit he wasn't one for running about chasing other dogs) My missus is away and I'm faced with an empty house - it's horrible. Not for one second did I ever imagine I wasn't bring my boy home on Monday night. Am I being selfish? A silly old fool?
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    • #2

      2 Not allowed!
      I had mine put down last year. She was 13 and we had her from a pup. Her back legs went overnight. Made my decision somewhat easier than yours. I’d take comfort that it was absolutely the right thing to do. The vets are pretty good at giving the appropriate advice as to what’s best for the doggy. The empty house after is horrendous but take solace from him not suffering as that would be much worse. RIP Obi.
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    • #3
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      3 Not allowed!
      It's a really difficult decision to take but you have to do what you think is best for your pet. It's part of our responsibility to them as they can't make the decision themselves. It's worse for them if you try to keep them going when they are in pain or discomfort. All you can do is take the vet's advice and do what you think is right. Awful thing to have to do, though.
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    • #4
      Members PILTDOWN MAN's Avatar
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      3 Not allowed!
      You did the right thing.

      Problem with dogs and cats they are good at masking pain and therefore are normally in a bad way by the time we find out.

      We have had to do it a number of times now and it never gets any easier.

      RIP Obi
      “FROM the towns all Inns have been driven: from the villages most. . . . Change your hearts or you will lose your Inns and you will deserve to have lost them. But when you have lost your Inns drown your empty selves, for you will have lost the last of England.”
    • #5
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      2 Not allowed!
      It's horrid, pets are family and they're not just animals. Each with their own personalities and mannerisms that make us love them, I had to make the decision to have my old boy put down 6 years ago and even today I felt so guilty despite knowing it was only right to do so. Prolonging his life would no doubt prolong his suffering.

      I would definitely look at adopting again, as you know full well how much it would help the dogs at Battersea Rescue and also, pets make a home in my opinion.
    • #6
      Members Napier's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Si Gull View Post
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      It's a really difficult decision to take but you have to do what you think is best for your pet. It's part of our responsibility to them as they can't make the decision themselves. It's worse for them if you try to keep them going when they are in pain or discomfort. All you can do is take the vet's advice and do what you think is right. Awful thing to have to do, though.
      This. Our cat was put to sleep four years ago and whilst I am sure we did the right thing, I still feel terrible about it.
    • #7
      Dullard Thunder Bolt's Avatar
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      8 Not allowed!
      It's a natural part of grief, but the vet gave you good advice. You wouldn't have wanted Obi to suffer any more, so you did the right thing, although you won't think so at the moment.
      14 is a good age for a dog, and you gave Obi a great home for 5 years where he enjoyed love, care and attention. When animals are really sick, it is time to let them go in peace, not suffer because we will miss them.

      It's hard to imagine at the moment, but in a few months time, you can find another rescue dog to love who will fill that empty home. It's waiting for you now when you're ready.
      Quote Originally Posted by brighton bluenose View Post
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    • #8

      0 Not allowed!
      I had the same thing whenever one of my tropical fish died, just awful.

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    • #9
      Members wellquickwoody's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      You made a choice based upon sound advice, and made it for the right reasons. Of course you question your decision, that is only natural, but the guilt will pass. When it does you will be able to think about sharing your life with a loyal friend once more.
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    • #10
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      0 Not allowed!
      Our two cats, sisters from the same litter, had to be put down at the ages of 14 and 17.

      They were very frail towards the end, especially the older one. To be honest we should had probably done it earlier as she had no quality of life.She was incontinent and very thin.

      The last cat's "Euthanasia" as the vets referred to it on the invoice was over two years ago. I don't feel guilty, just happy that they had a long comfortable life with us.

      We still miss them, especially when we go past the IAMS food in Sainsburys. Still feels strange that we are not buying their food.
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