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  1. #21
    You can change this Bozza's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Tactician View Post
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    Just seen what you mean...yeah that's annoying. Don't think that normally happens, maybe it can be fixed/ changed @Bozza?
    So it does.

    Not sure why, as it's not happened before that I've seen and doesn't for the previous match report - https://www.northstandchat.com/conte...own-01-03-2019

    I thought it might have been the artwork, as it was quite wide at 1440pix, but I've reduced that and it's still happening. I'll take another look later.

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    • #22
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      7 Not allowed!
      I can't compete with the excellent reporting of @The Tactician of course, but I have cobbled together my own little report for a Seagulls Predictions League which I run with fellow NSC-er @Gritt23. Thought I'd share it with the class, being as I'm still very much basking in the afterglow of last weekend.

      Palace 1 Albion 2, LG: Knockaert

      Oh, mon’amie! Come to papa! Just take in that scoreline. Look at it. Savour it. Bask in it. Bathe in it. Rub yourself all over with it. Smear it on and…..ok ok I’ll stop there, or it’ll never get past the IT email filters at this rate. But what a result, and what a game. From the moment Knockaert forcibly rearranged Milivojevic’s gonads inside the first 20 seconds, this truly was an afternoon to behold. Then, like a kick in the nuts from an old ex-girlfriend who you still carry a bit of a torch for, Old Man Murray really stuck the knife into our hapless Palace chums with a sublime dipping strike to put us 1 up. Even better, he wasn’t even supposed to be playing, with Andone having been named in the starting XI but pulling up lame in the warmup.

      Palace are like one of those stubborn turds that often need a second flush though. And so it proved, as they equalised from the spot early in the 2nd half following a predictable swan-dive by Townsend over Proppers invitingly outstretched leg. No matter, the best was still yet to come. With a little over 15 to go, the ball was sprayed wide-right by Stephens to Knockaert, who drove forward down the wing, van Aanholt rapidly retreating before him. With the pungent, heady odour of fear and trepidation filling his flaired Gallic nostrils, Knocky suddenly cut inside the now-stumbling van Aanholt onto his left, drew back his boot, and then spanked the most glorious 25-yarder into the very, VERY top left-hand corner of the goal. Like a shy young maiden pressing her lips to the cheek of her beau for the first time, the ball planted a momentary delicate kiss to the inside of the post, before slithering submissively down the pure white netting inside. It dropped behind the flailing Palace keeper, who had launched himself full-length to his right, but might just as well have been reaching for the moon. 2-1. Euphoria. Bedlam. Glory.

      You may even have noticed that I have failed to mention a certain someone. For truth be told, there really was genuinely nothing worth mentioning about the four-lettered swivel-eyed gravity whore on this fine day. He was as ineffectual and anonymous as a shadow cabinet minister. Like an abandoned rotary washing line on a rainy day, you could see him out there, but all he seemed to do was sadly stand there, pointlessly taking up space. Speaking of points, that 6 of them for us this season courtesy of the south London filth, for the first time since 83-84. Lovely, lovely stuff.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"
    • #23
      I hate Palarse
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      T
      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      I can't compete with the excellent reporting of @The Tactician of course, but I have cobbled together my own little report for a Seagulls Predictions League which I run with fellow NSC-er @Gritt23. Thought I'd share it with the class, being as I'm still very much basking in the afterglow of last weekend.
      ................ Like an abandoned rotary washing line on a rainy day, you could see him out there, but all he seemed to do was sadly stand there, pointlessly taking up space.........[/i]
      The whole report was great Easy, but that description of Zaha was pure poetry.
      If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
    • #24

      0 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      I can't compete with the excellent reporting of @The Tactician of course, but I have cobbled together my own little report for a Seagulls Predictions League which I run with fellow NSC-er @Gritt23. Thought I'd share it with the class, being as I'm still very much basking in the afterglow of last weekend.

      Palace 1 Albion 2, LG: Knockaert

      Oh, moníamie! Come to papa! Just take in that scoreline. Look at it. Savour it. Bask in it. Bathe in it. Rub yourself all over with it. Smear it on andÖ..ok ok Iíll stop there, or itíll never get past the IT email filters at this rate. But what a result, and what a game. From the moment Knockaert forcibly rearranged Milivojevicís gonads inside the first 20 seconds, this truly was an afternoon to behold. Then, like a kick in the nuts from an old ex-girlfriend who you still carry a bit of a torch for, Old Man Murray really stuck the knife into our hapless Palace chums with a sublime dipping strike to put us 1 up. Even better, he wasnít even supposed to be playing, with Andone having been named in the starting XI but pulling up lame in the warmup.

      Palace are like one of those stubborn turds that often need a second flush though. And so it proved, as they equalised from the spot early in the 2nd half following a predictable swan-dive by Townsend over Proppers invitingly outstretched leg. No matter, the best was still yet to come. With a little over 15 to go, the ball was sprayed wide-right by Stephens to Knockaert, who drove forward down the wing, van Aanholt rapidly retreating before him. With the pungent, heady odour of fear and trepidation filling his flaired Gallic nostrils, Knocky suddenly cut inside the now-stumbling van Aanholt onto his left, drew back his boot, and then spanked the most glorious 25-yarder into the very, VERY top left-hand corner of the goal. Like a shy young maiden pressing her lips to the cheek of her beau for the first time, the ball planted a momentary delicate kiss to the inside of the post, before slithering submissively down the pure white netting inside. It dropped behind the flailing Palace keeper, who had launched himself full-length to his right, but might just as well have been reaching for the moon. 2-1. Euphoria. Bedlam. Glory.

      You may even have noticed that I have failed to mention a certain someone. For truth be told, there really was genuinely nothing worth mentioning about the four-lettered swivel-eyed gravity whore on this fine day. He was as ineffectual and anonymous as a shadow cabinet minister. Like an abandoned rotary washing line on a rainy day, you could see him out there, but all he seemed to do was sadly stand there, pointlessly taking up space. Speaking of points, that 6 of them for us this season courtesy of the south London filth, for the first time since 83-84. Lovely, lovely stuff.
      Superb!
      Tony Bloom's Blue and White army!
      "Selling Kayal now would be the equivalent of winning star baker every week during weeks 1-5 of Bake Off before turning up pissed on week 6, slapping Mary Berry on the arse, hurling racist insults at Paul Hollywood and offering Mel and Sue a threes up. It would be the end of our season."
    • #25
    • #26
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by sams dad View Post
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      T

      The whole report was great Easy, but that description of Zaha was pure poetry.
      Quote Originally Posted by The Tactician View Post
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      Superb!
      Most kind

      Some match reports are such FUN to write, aren't they.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"
    • #27
      I look nothing like him! Jack Straw's Avatar
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      1 Not allowed!
      These reports just get better and better. Superb! Best ARTWORK ever!!
    • #28
      Mama said knock you out. LlcoolJ's Avatar
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      Superb stuff.
      "I never mentioned horses!"
    • #29
      Y.P.J spence's Avatar
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      0 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      I can't compete with the excellent reporting of @The Tactician of course, but I have cobbled together my own little report for a Seagulls Predictions League which I run with fellow NSC-er @Gritt23. Thought I'd share it with the class, being as I'm still very much basking in the afterglow of last weekend.

      Palace 1 Albion 2, LG: Knockaert

      Oh, mon’amie! Come to papa! Just take in that scoreline. Look at it. Savour it. Bask in it. Bathe in it. Rub yourself all over with it. Smear it on and…..ok ok I’ll stop there, or it’ll never get past the IT email filters at this rate. But what a result, and what a game. From the moment Knockaert forcibly rearranged Milivojevic’s gonads inside the first 20 seconds, this truly was an afternoon to behold. Then, like a kick in the nuts from an old ex-girlfriend who you still carry a bit of a torch for, Old Man Murray really stuck the knife into our hapless Palace chums with a sublime dipping strike to put us 1 up. Even better, he wasn’t even supposed to be playing, with Andone having been named in the starting XI but pulling up lame in the warmup.

      Palace are like one of those stubborn turds that often need a second flush though. And so it proved, as they equalised from the spot early in the 2nd half following a predictable swan-dive by Townsend over Proppers invitingly outstretched leg. No matter, the best was still yet to come. With a little over 15 to go, the ball was sprayed wide-right by Stephens to Knockaert, who drove forward down the wing, van Aanholt rapidly retreating before him. With the pungent, heady odour of fear and trepidation filling his flaired Gallic nostrils, Knocky suddenly cut inside the now-stumbling van Aanholt onto his left, drew back his boot, and then spanked the most glorious 25-yarder into the very, VERY top left-hand corner of the goal. Like a shy young maiden pressing her lips to the cheek of her beau for the first time, the ball planted a momentary delicate kiss to the inside of the post, before slithering submissively down the pure white netting inside. It dropped behind the flailing Palace keeper, who had launched himself full-length to his right, but might just as well have been reaching for the moon. 2-1. Euphoria. Bedlam. Glory.

      You may even have noticed that I have failed to mention a certain someone. For truth be told, there really was genuinely nothing worth mentioning about the four-lettered swivel-eyed gravity whore on this fine day. He was as ineffectual and anonymous as a shadow cabinet minister. Like an abandoned rotary washing line on a rainy day, you could see him out there, but all he seemed to do was sadly stand there, pointlessly taking up space. Speaking of points, that 6 of them for us this season courtesy of the south London filth, for the first time since 83-84. Lovely, lovely stuff.
      That was great. You have a hidden talent.

      Naylor watch out.
      KobanÓ liberated 26th Jan 2015 = Modern day Stalingrad
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    • #30
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by spence View Post
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      That was great. You have a hidden talent.

      Naylor watch out.
      I'm not sure much of that would get past the Argus editor to be fair (if they even have one - I'm not overly convinced). But cheers anyway chap.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"

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