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Thread: Joke Du Jour.

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    I look nothing like him! Jack Straw's Avatar
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    Joke Du Jour.


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    “Porky”, the prize stud pig was acquired by farmer Brown who planned to rent him out to nearby farms to inseminate other farmers’ sows. He delivered Porky for his first consignment. He told the farmer to lead Porky into the field where the sows were, and he would get down to business.
    First thing the next morning, the farmer tried to lead Porky the short distance from his sty to the sows, but he just sat there, and whatever the farmer did, he couldn’t make Porky budge.
    He phoned farmer Brown and told him that Porky wouldn’t move. Farmer Brown said that he often did this and the thing to do was put him in a wheel-barrow and push him the short distance to the field.
    After a struggle ,the farmer eventually managed to get the heavy pig in to the wheel-barrow, wheel him to the field and tip him out.
    Off Porky went, like Casanova on Speed. At the end of the day, Porky still managed to walk back to the sty.
    The following day, Porky offered more resistance and the farmer ended up barrowing him once again before Porky carried on where he left off the day before.
    The next morning, the excited farmer phoned farmer Brown with some encouraging news.
    “I think Porky’s getting the hang of it,” said the farmer.
    “Has he made his way to the field and is he now shagging his way round the sows?” asked farmer Brown.
    He replied “No, but he’s sitting in the wheel-barrow!”

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    • #2

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      Quote Originally Posted by Jack Straw View Post
      This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
      “Porky”, the prize stud pig was acquired by farmer Brown who planned to rent him out to nearby farms to inseminate other farmers’ sows. He delivered Porky for his first consignment. He told the farmer to lead Porky into the field where the sows were, and he would get down to business.
      First thing the next morning, the farmer tried to lead Porky the short distance from his sty to the sows, but he just sat there, and whatever the farmer did, he couldn’t make Porky budge.
      He phoned farmer Brown and told him that Porky wouldn’t move. Farmer Brown said that he often did this and the thing to do was put him in a wheel-barrow and push him the short distance to the field.
      After a struggle ,the farmer eventually managed to get the heavy pig in to the wheel-barrow, wheel him to the field and tip him out.
      Off Porky went, like Casanova on Speed. At the end of the day, Porky still managed to walk back to the sty.
      The following day, Porky offered more resistance and the farmer ended up barrowing him once again before Porky carried on where he left off the day before.
      The next morning, the excited farmer phoned farmer Brown with some encouraging news.
      “I think Porky’s getting the hang of it,” said the farmer.
      “Has he made his way to the field and is he now shagging his way round the sows?” asked farmer Brown.
      He replied “No, but he’s sitting in the wheel-barrow!”
      His first job is a consignment? Animal cruelty, surely. How many sows make a consignment? Did they come with a shipping note? Where can I get a wheelbarrow with the ability to easily wheel a large pig around. And can you barrow a pig without risk of prosecution?
      RICHARD SWIVELLER, a good-hearted, though somewhat queer young man
    • #3
      Members KZNSeagull's Avatar
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      3 Not allowed!
      How can a fully grown pig get into a wheelbarrow without assistance and without the wheelbarrow tipping over? I think the farmer is telling porkies.
      Sanibona!!
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      Worst ever.
    • #5
      Panic! At The Amex Tom Hark, Preston Park's Avatar
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      Farmer runs the risk of serious back injury with all this pig lifting. And he will deserve little sympathy. It's no use crying over spilt pork. He should investigate alternative means of porcine transportation, possibly a small horsebox-like vehicle.
      Buy The Ticket,Take The Ride - Hunter S. Thompson
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      Members BNthree's Avatar
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      Why doesn't Farmer Brown consider artificial insemination and instead sell batches of Porky's sperm?
    • #7
      Members zefarelly's Avatar
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      Spam
      It's all a load of bollocks
    • #8
      Members el punal's Avatar
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      What a crackling good story. The farmer must have been so ham fisted in trying to get Porky into the barrow that he made a complete pig’s ear of it. Nice to see Porky’s doing the business, and sow on and sow forth.
      Just a hedgehog on the motorway of life.
    • #9
      Members Notters's Avatar
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      I don't even get how this is a joke?!
      Quote Originally Posted by Billy the Fish View Post
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      Are people taking stupidity pills on here today or something
    • #10
      Members Albion my Albion's Avatar
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      0 Not allowed!
      Quote Originally Posted by Dick Swiveller View Post
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      His first job is a consignment? Animal cruelty, surely. How many sows make a consignment? Did they come with a shipping note? Where can I get a wheelbarrow with the ability to easily wheel a large pig around. And can you barrow a pig without risk of prosecution?
      You could always borrow the barrow.
      So anything less than Tottenham depending on the sides' difference in points and GD is that degree of "'ell"

      If that is the case Brighton "ell is getting a bit hotter.

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