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[Humour] Joke du Jour..



The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jan 11, 2016
24,278
West is BEST
A woman rings 999

What’s your emergency?

I think my husband is dead

Okay, follow my instructions. Please go and make sure he is dead.

A brief silence followed by a loud bang!

Okay, I’ve done that. Now what?
 


Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,142
I hope she called the Gas board as that bang could have been a gas explosion. Terrible if her husband died and she lost her house.

RIP husband.
 




Thunder Bolt

Ordinary Supporter
I've watched that series Ambulance. The first thing they always say is 'Is the patient breathing'.
 






Gazwag

5 millionth post poster
Mar 4, 2004
30,093
Bexhill-on-Sea
Very strange that a professional emergency services call operator would expect a lay person to ascertain if a person is dead or not
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,781
Playing snooker
I've watched that series Ambulance. The first thing they always say is 'Is the patient breathing'.

A woman rings 999

What’s your emergency?

I think my husband is dead

Okay, follow my instructions. Is the patient breathing?

A brief silence followed by a loud bang!

Okay, I’ve done that. Now what?


Nope. Doesn't work as well like this.
 






essbee1

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2014
4,078
A definition of a joke for the benefit of Clampie:

"A thing that someone says or writes to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline".

Please try again.
 


The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jan 11, 2016
24,278
West is BEST
Nope. Doesn't work as well like this.

I know emergency calls don’t follow the joke’s procedure. It would be quite a long drawn out and unfunny joke if it did! ��
 


The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jan 11, 2016
24,278
West is BEST
A definition of a joke for the benefit of Clampie:

"A thing that someone says or writes to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline".

Please try again.

Yet voted the funniest joke in the world. I am as shocked as you are.

Genuinely voted funniest joke ever.


By everyone


Ever


Everyone
 






essbee1

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2014
4,078
Yet voted the funniest joke in the world. I am as shocked as you are.

Genuinely voted funniest joke ever.


By everyone


Ever


Everyone

Fair enough Clampo.

Here's my defense: 'My other half loves Birds of a Feather - laughs uncontrollably at it. Perhaps the people voting were of the same ilk'. QED.

(btw I would rather stick needles in my nackers than sit through an episode of that sh*te)
 


LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
Fair enough Clampo.

Here's my defense: 'My other half loves Birds of a Feather - laughs uncontrollably at it. Perhaps the people voting were of the same ilk'. QED.

(btw I would rather stick needles in my nackers than sit through an episode of that sh*te)

The rules of NSC state that any mention of dreadful TV sitcoms is replied to with "What about that Mrs Brown's Boys? It shit!". So there you go.
 






Mo Gosfield

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2010
6,276
Everyone on here today seems to have developed Aspergers syndrome. By the way, who led the Pedants Revolt? Which Tyler.

I sincerely hope not. As a father of a sufferer, I know what it means. On a personal level it touches a raw nerve when it is used as a throwaway line, trying to be clever.
 













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