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  1. #51
    Members Tim Over Whelmed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Clamp View Post
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    This is more of a pub review I suppose but anyway.
    I took a nice long walk up on the Downs today from Shoreham. I live here so have tried most pubs locally. It was a 17 miler so on my way back home I wanted a feed and a sit down. Plus it was 3pm and a lot of places don’t serve food at that time.
    One place I have always avoided is The Swiss Cottage. But I was hungry and one of my resolutions is to try new places and new things . It’s a Greene King so I knew it was going to be microwaved food but The Waterside is GK and same menu, and to be fair for what it is the food in WS is passable if you stick to the classics.
    Anyway, the staff were friendly enough and the place isn’t as foul as I was expecting but my goodness the food was bad. BAD.
    I played it safe with bangers and mash.
    Tasteless pale sausages , weak runny gravy, solid block of yellow mash and the peas were bitter. Plus a caramelised red onion chutney clearly out of a jar that was just a cold lump on top.

    Of course I wasn’t expecting fine dining but this was just grim. And at just under £8 not really that cheap for one simple dish.
    The nicest thing was the orange and lemonade I had with it.

    If I hadn’t been so tired and hungry I’d have sent it back. But I practically held my nose and downed it. I was in and out in 19 minutes.

    A grim eating experience I shan’t be repeating anytime soon. Avoid.

    Attachment 104077
    Due to a business interest I do keep an eye on some of the chain pub and restaurant menus and when researching something the other day I hadn't realised how many people fall for the "Steak Trick".

    Most chains show a higher weight Rib Eye, a lighter sirloin and an even lighter rump, and, of course, the prices come down BUT, if you look at the price per ounce in some chains you pay as much per ounce for the cheaper rib eye and rump cuts as you do the more expensive Sirloin. I thought most knew this but a straw poll revealed many didn't.

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    • #52
      Members Herr Tubthumper's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Goldstone1976 View Post
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      Matt Healy x The Foundry, Leeds.

      I guess the title of the place tells you all you need to know, really. Matt is the bearded hipster who made the final 3 of Masterchef Professionals in 2016, and whose sauces Marcus raved over. We were advised to have 5 starters between the 3 of us, and then 1 main course each. Perfectly decent cooking, but only one memorable dish - a very intensely flavoured roasted onion risotto. Wine list was ok. Wait staff were excellent. £70 pp including a good amount of alcohol. Would go again if in Leeds, but not worth a trip.

      Restaurant Sat Bains, Nottingham. 2*. 10 Course tasting menu - blimey charlie, does he like his umami. It reminded me of Noma; much to admire in the technicalities - some deeply impressive cooking - but we didn't actually like it that much. Except the puddings - they were exquisite. Maybe because they were a refreshing change from the umami-laden savoury courses?

      They offered 3 levels of wine pairing, we went for the more expensive one, and they were exceptionally well chosen, including a biodynamic Rousanne which was almost undrinkable by itself, but brilliant with the food, and (a first for me) a really excellent Canadian Eis-Cider.

      We asked to go into the kitchen, where we had a bizarre experience. We met the eponymous Sat, who did almost nothing except ask for our names and then sign a copy of the menu which he presented to us with a flourish and a smug grin. Did we ask for this? Did we hell.

      The room was decent enough. Breakfast the following morning was very good indeed - frankly, we enjoyed it more than dinner. £1k all-in, including a lot of armagnac.

      Oh - in the entrance to the field opposite the restaurant were 5 dumped kitchen-grade fridges. Can't imagine where they had come from.

      We won't be going back.

      River Cottage Kitchen & Deli, Axminster. Starters were fine-ish. Main courses deeply disappointing. The lemon sole was so badly over-cooked it was unreal. It probably had 3x the cooking time it should have had. It came with a salsa verde which was totally overpowering. Really poor cooking. Avoid. £50 ph.

      The Sportsman Seasalter. 1*. Bloody hell. This place is just superb. We had the tasting menu - 8 courses for £70 is ridiculous value for this level of cooking. The fish, as you'd expect, was brilliantly fresh and cooked perfectly - the turbot particularly was exceptional. £120 ph. Don't go, you'll make it harder for me to book a table again.
      @Machiavelli posted this a few days ago https://www.theguardian.com/food/201...urants-special

      ďBains handles this by remaining ďauthenticĒ. ďIf people save to come here, itíd be rude for me not to say hello. Itís called hospitality. But Iím a working chef. By 11.30pm on Saturday night, Iím drained. Iíve spilled shit over my jacket. I might be bollocking someone. Itís a working kitchen. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Hereís a menu. But I donít pretend to be a host. Iím a chef.Ē

      This paragraph might explain your Bains kitchen experience!
      "I will design a town in the image of your face. Round the wrinkles of your eyes my footsteps you can trace. We could promenade down infra-nasel depression. The streets of your hands will never feel a recession."
    • #53
      Fan of the 17 bus Cowfold Seagull's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Tim Over Whelmed View Post
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      Due to a business interest I do keep an eye on some of the chain pub and restaurant menus and when researching something the other day I hadn't realised how many people fall for the "Steak Trick".

      Most chains show a higher weight Rib Eye, a lighter sirloin and an even lighter rump, and, of course, the prices come down BUT, if you look at the price per ounce in some chains you pay as much per ounce for the cheaper rib eye and rump cuts as you do the more expensive Sirloin. I thought most knew this but a straw poll revealed many didn't.
      Rib Eye cheaper than sirloin? . . . really?
    • #54
      Members Tim Over Whelmed's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Cowfold Seagull View Post
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      Rib Eye cheaper than sirloin? . . . really?
      Miller & Carter, for example:

      Rib Eye 16oz is £26.50 or £1.65 per oz
      Sirloin 10oz is £22.95 or £2.30 per oz
      Rump 8oz is £16.95 or £2.12 per oz

      Crazy really, it's the way they display the pricing that catches people out
    • #55
      Fan of the 17 bus Cowfold Seagull's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Tim Over Whelmed View Post
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      Miller & Carter, for example:

      Rib Eye 16oz is £26.50 or £1.65 per oz
      Sirloin 10oz is £22.95 or £2.30 per oz
      Rump 8oz is £16.95 or £2.12 per oz

      Crazy really, it's the way they display the pricing that catches people out
      Just like they did me!
    • #56
      Members Goldstone1976's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Herr Tubthumper View Post
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      @Machiavelli posted this a few days ago https://www.theguardian.com/food/201...urants-special

      “Bains handles this by remaining “authentic”. “If people save to come here, it’d be rude for me not to say hello. It’s called hospitality. But I’m a working chef. By 11.30pm on Saturday night, I’m drained. I’ve spilled shit over my jacket. I might be bollocking someone. It’s a working kitchen. I hope you enjoyed yourself. Here’s a menu. But I don’t pretend to be a host. I’m a chef.”

      This paragraph might explain your Bains kitchen experience!
      Thanks. It does, really. Personally, I’d have preferred it if the waiter had said “you sure, mate? I wouldn’t advise it”, but I accept that others wouldn’t share that view.
      2A. K2-18b
    • #57
      Brighton Bhuna Boy Beach Hut's Avatar
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      Lunch at Kerbisher & Malt

      https://www.markethalls.co.uk/market/victoria

      This has just opened near Victoria Station and what a very pleasant surprise - £10.50 and a fabulous cod and chips, well cooked and very tasty.
      I surrender all control
      To the desire that consumes me whole
      Leads me by the hand to infinity
      Lies in wait at the heart of me - the Albion of course !
    • #58
      Members Herr Tubthumper's Avatar
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      The only joy I had last night was reading @The Clamp, @Goldstone1976 and @Westdene Seagulls reviews.

      ThevSwiss Cottage review made me laugh, I must get to The Sportsman, and Fourth and Church, I’m disappointed about Ockenden Manor.
      "I will design a town in the image of your face. Round the wrinkles of your eyes my footsteps you can trace. We could promenade down infra-nasel depression. The streets of your hands will never feel a recession."
    • #59

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      Anyone been to Pabellon yet?
      NEW SCHTUMMCAST. MORE VIBES AVAILABLE HERE >>>>>> http://soundcloud.com/schtumm/schtum...0-neal-schtumm
    • #60
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      Quote Originally Posted by Goldstone1976 View Post
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      Matt Healy x The Foundry, Leeds.

      I guess the title of the place tells you all you need to know, really. Matt is the bearded hipster who made the final 3 of Masterchef Professionals in 2016, and whose sauces Marcus raved over. We were advised to have 5 starters between the 3 of us, and then 1 main course each. Perfectly decent cooking, but only one memorable dish - a very intensely flavoured roasted onion risotto. Wine list was ok. Wait staff were excellent. £70 pp including a good amount of alcohol. Would go again if in Leeds, but not worth a trip.

      Restaurant Sat Bains, Nottingham. 2*. 10 Course tasting menu - blimey charlie, does he like his umami. It reminded me of Noma; much to admire in the technicalities - some deeply impressive cooking - but we didn't actually like it that much. Except the puddings - they were exquisite. Maybe because they were a refreshing change from the umami-laden savoury courses?

      They offered 3 levels of wine pairing, we went for the more expensive one, and they were exceptionally well chosen, including a biodynamic Rousanne which was almost undrinkable by itself, but brilliant with the food, and (a first for me) a really excellent Canadian Eis-Cider.

      We asked to go into the kitchen, where we had a bizarre experience. We met the eponymous Sat, who did almost nothing except ask for our names and then sign a copy of the menu which he presented to us with a flourish and a smug grin. Did we ask for this? Did we hell.

      The room was decent enough. Breakfast the following morning was very good indeed - frankly, we enjoyed it more than dinner. £1k all-in, including a lot of armagnac.

      Oh - in the entrance to the field opposite the restaurant were 5 dumped kitchen-grade fridges. Can't imagine where they had come from.

      We won't be going back.

      River Cottage Kitchen & Deli, Axminster. Starters were fine-ish. Main courses deeply disappointing. The lemon sole was so badly over-cooked it was unreal. It probably had 3x the cooking time it should have had. It came with a salsa verde which was totally overpowering. Really poor cooking. Avoid. £50 ph.

      The Sportsman Seasalter. 1*. Bloody hell. This place is just superb. We had the tasting menu - 8 courses for £70 is ridiculous value for this level of cooking. The fish, as you'd expect, was brilliantly fresh and cooked perfectly - the turbot particularly was exceptional. £120 ph. Don't go, you'll make it harder for me to book a table again.
      Delighted you liked The Sportsman. I haven't come across a restaurant that exudes all that's good about eating out as this.

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