[Albion] Help the club by suggesting more palatable ways they can screw every last penny out of us.

Stat Brother · Dec 8, 2018

As many of us will be pressing the 'opt out' button on our keyboard, I think we should help the club.

Instead of them coming to us with the begging bowl out why don't we get our heads together and come up with a scheme we agree with, that results in us handing over every penny we earn.

How about the turnstiles retain our season tickets then we have to buy them back.

Jahooli · Dec 8, 2018

Remove all bicycles from around the stadium during the game and sell them for scrap value

skipper734 · Dec 8, 2018

Michael O'Leary should have a word, maybe HE could get a few tips from our CEO.

erkan · Dec 8, 2018

Good thread.

"Speedy Boarding" allowing people to jump queues at the station and Park & Ride stops would be popular.

£99 per season (no need for any concessions).

Westdene Seagull · Dec 8, 2018

Add a little machine to each seat. The seat is locked into a seated position unless you put a pound in every 15 minutes thus allowing you to stand. Hey presto standing is allowed .... at a price.

Stat Brother · Dec 8, 2018

erkan said:
Good thread.

"Speedy Boarding" allowing people to jump queues at the station and Park & Ride stops would be popular.

£99 per season (no need for any concessions).

Careful what you wish for.

Dick Swiveller · Dec 8, 2018

Must be a way of sourcing the old 2p locks for toilet doors from the 70s/80s.

The Andy Naylor Fan Club · Dec 8, 2018

Sponsor a director. You could sponsor our very own Paul Barber, the cost would cover his match ticket, his pre match meal and drinks, his half time snacks and drinks and the post match supper and drinks. You also get to cover the cost of his parking and winter blanket.

erkan · Dec 8, 2018

Seat for Life

Your seat at The Amex belongs to you. For a one off payment (£199) you can now purchase the right to buy a season ticket every year. Additionally, in the event of seats being replaced (currently planned to be in June 2041) you will have the option of buying your seat at a discounted rate.

Sent from my SM-G900F using Tapatalk

Weststander · Dec 8, 2018

Sponsor a sponsor at £999.99 per season. With a 2 sponsors for the price of 1 Christmas Special offer.

Marketed on Seagulls TV with the class of an Alabaman car dealer:

Stat Brother · Dec 8, 2018

As the pat-downs are less than effective.

Everybody has to arrive at the stadium nudee, but once inside, thanks to the clubs generosity, you can purchase a full array of branded clothing that nearly has a 10% discount.

Baldseagull · Dec 8, 2018

A fee for an express queue jumping lane for beers and pies, like they have at theme parks.
Speedy boarding membership, allowing you to go to the front of the turnstile queues.
The cost of a program for every home game added to every ticket, then just put them on shelves for fans to take, no program sellers wages and plenty won't bother picking one up.
Make all the scratch cards losing cards.

Weststander · Dec 8, 2018

Baldseagull said:
A fee for an express queue jumping lane for beers and pies, like they have at theme parks.
Speedy boarding membership, allowing you to go to the front of the turnstile queues.
The cost of a program for every home game added to every ticket, then just put them on shelves for fans to take, no program sellers wages and plenty won't bother picking one up.
Make all the scratch cards losing cards.

A Seagulls Fast Pass.

Stat Brother · Dec 8, 2018

Baldseagull said:
A fee for an express queue jumping lane for beers and pies, like they have at theme parks.
Speedy boarding membership, allowing you to go to the front of the turnstile queues.
The cost of a program for every home game added to every ticket, then just put them on shelves for fans to take, no program sellers wages and plenty won't bother picking one up.
Make all the scratch cards losing cards.

I really do think we ought to keep this particular idea off this thread.

You know what walls have...

...sausages.

Baldseagull · Dec 8, 2018

Weststander said:
A Seagulls Fast Pass.

You are straight on to the branding, are you PB?

Hampster Gull · Dec 8, 2018

Pay to be part of the in crowd getting a monthly email from Barber on all that going on behind the scenes.

Costs £20.

For season ticket holders this is automatically added to the season ticket cost, season ticket holders who don’t want it pay £30 to opt out.

Titanic · Dec 8, 2018

erkan said:
Good thread.

"Speedy Boarding" allowing people to jump queues at the station and Park & Ride stops would be popular.

£99 per season (no need for any concessions).

This is nailed on :nono:

erkan · Dec 8, 2018

Hi Paul

I reckon you could definitely get away with adding £2 per match to every ticket and including an electronic copy of the programme.

Revenue per season of around £1.2m with minimal cost to the club.

ManOfSussex · Dec 8, 2018

'Designated Steward Membership Club' on top of your season ticket. Have your own named, designated steward, who you have an exclusivity agreement with on patting you down on entry to the stadium, who will also greet you, smile and chat to you on arrival in a friendly manner.

Basically I have this for free on entry to The West Upper currently as I always aim for the same steward on arrival as a pre-match lucky ritual, but how about from next season it'll cost me £50 a season and I'll get a free window sticker too.

Stat Brother · Dec 8, 2018

ManOfSussex said:
'Designated Steward Membership Club' on top of your season ticket. Have your own named, designated steward, who you have an exclusivity agreement with on patting you down on entry to the stadium, who will also greet you, smile and chat to you on arrival in a friendly manner.

Basically I have this for free on entry to The West Upper currently as I always aim for the same steward on arrival as a pre-match lucky ritual, but how about from next season it'll cost me £50 a season and I'll get a free window licker too.

It's a less than subtle edit for you to spot.

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