Would you take to the air when possible danger approaches or would you be a...
...pheasant.
Clucking idiots.
Gotta be the stoooopidest animal out there.
...pheasant.
Clucking idiots.
Gotta be the stoooopidest animal out there.
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[Misc] If you were a bird (feathered) bestowed with the power of flight
- Thread starter Stat Brother
- Start date
Mackenzie
Old Brightonian
I’d fly over Selhurst tomorrow
And shit on the ******** below.
And shit on the ******** below.
Norman Potting
Well-known member
Pigeons/Doves also are terminally stupid in this respect.
smillie's garden
Am I evil?
- Aug 11, 2003
- 2,595
If you're genuine rural Sussex you might take it home and hang it in the old shed.
mejonaNO12 aka riskit
Well-known member
It's the fact they LOOK at you coming along the road for a while....contemplating it.
I'm sat there thinking "don't you dare....you wouldn't be that stupi.........."
BANG.
I'm sat there thinking "don't you dare....you wouldn't be that stupi.........."
BANG.
Codner's Crackpipe
Active member
- Feb 25, 2005
- 184
I reckon squirrels are thicker. If they could just decide on a direction to escape in and STICK to it they might stand a better chance of not ending up under my wheels the dithering little bellends.
sydney
tinky ****in winky
can't be a stooped as kangaroos .....them twatts will try and race your car and then hurdle it if they get level.....mugs...!!
- Jul 10, 2003
- 25,809
I once hit a pheasant early morning going over the Dyke for an early flight from Gatwick. I stopped and it was dead but not very mangled, so I threw it in my boot thinking I could have it later.
Gatwick car park, I parked up, opened the boot to get my briefcase and the ******* came flying out straight at me. Scared the shit out of me
Moral - when running over something edible for dinner, make sure it's dead.
Thunder Bolt
Silly old bat
Wild pheasants aren't stupid, but captive bred ones are. A farm near me breeds them for shooting. The birds are quite often seen taking a stroll down the middle of the road.
mikeyjh
Well-known member
Yes - I'm in to double figures over the last 12 months - On the lane that leads to our house, one basically has to either a) go at walking pace and parp them repeatedly, hope they get out of the way or b) Mow them down.
* I always go for option a), all my kills have been on busier roads, I have the damaged grill on the car to prove it.
mikeyjh
Well-known member
True this - I've been charge with taking out 4 for our neighbours boxing day hosting, will be the easiest shots ever, settle down about 10 yards from them and bam.... Squirrels are a much tougher ask.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Perhaps they're not stupid at all.
Has anyone considered the pressures of country life that they may suffer ? Trying to provide for a young incessantly ravenous family, exposed to all elements, constantly trying to avoid the neverending horrifying prospect being eaten alive at any time of the day or night.
Maybe sometimes it all becomes too much, and the approaching wheels of a Volvo XC60 just becomes all too tempting a way out for them.
Has anyone considered the pressures of country life that they may suffer ? Trying to provide for a young incessantly ravenous family, exposed to all elements, constantly trying to avoid the neverending horrifying prospect being eaten alive at any time of the day or night.
Maybe sometimes it all becomes too much, and the approaching wheels of a Volvo XC60 just becomes all too tempting a way out for them.
pearl
Well-known member
depressing thread
thought it was going to be what bird we'd choose to be
thought it was going to be what bird we'd choose to be
smillie's garden
Am I evil?
- Aug 11, 2003
- 2,595
I once hit a pheasant early morning going over the Dyke for an early flight from Gatwick. I stopped and it was dead but not very mangled, so I threw it in my boot thinking I could have it later.
Gatwick car park, I parked up, opened the boot to get my briefcase and the ******* came flying out straight at me. Scared the shit out of me
Moral - when running over something edible for dinner, make sure it's dead.
Simply stunning.
E
Eric Youngs Contact Lense
Guest
The fact that they hang-around the side of roads is apparently because they need grit to help them digest their food.. reliably informed by game keeper friend of mine.
Knocky's Nose
Mon nez est en Valenciennes..
I work out in the countryside and squirrels seem to be the ones topping the dead-list at the moment. I saw about half a dozen on the way in this morning, on a really quiet little back road.
My questions is : did they all get hit by cars, or did a few of them take a leap to another branch and the wind changed, took the branch a few more inches past the end of it's little paws, and did a 'wile e coyote' style fall down to the tarmac? I often wonder...
We do get pheasants out here, but generally they're not bad at avoiding my V70. Partridges are abound too, and those little buggers can certainly scamper along when they want!
Talking of dead animals by the side of the road, when the kids were very little and used to see dead badgers, foxes and so on right by the side of the road we used to say "Well that's a very dangerous place to go to sleep, isn't it !!"
I still find myself saying it, and they're all grown up now!
My questions is : did they all get hit by cars, or did a few of them take a leap to another branch and the wind changed, took the branch a few more inches past the end of it's little paws, and did a 'wile e coyote' style fall down to the tarmac? I often wonder...
We do get pheasants out here, but generally they're not bad at avoiding my V70. Partridges are abound too, and those little buggers can certainly scamper along when they want!
Talking of dead animals by the side of the road, when the kids were very little and used to see dead badgers, foxes and so on right by the side of the road we used to say "Well that's a very dangerous place to go to sleep, isn't it !!"
I still find myself saying it, and they're all grown up now!
Kneon Light
Well-known member
Not that stupid - they are regularly hunted and shot so have learnt to stay low and run when disturbed rather than fly.
Sure a few may get hit by cars but more would be shot if they fly at the first sign of disturbance.
Sure a few may get hit by cars but more would be shot if they fly at the first sign of disturbance.
- Thread starter
- #20
Deers were top of the hit list today, I saw 3 of them in various states of decay.