[Football] Peter Crouch: How to be a Footballer

I caught some of Peter Crouch on 5Live yesterday afternoon talking about his new book which, by all accounts, is a cracker.

I've always liked Crouch and his self-deprecating sense of humour and as ever he came across very well. He ran through a number of the stories, largely involving him ****ing up, or other footballers he's played with ****ing up.

I'll admit to not really being one for football autobiographies, but I think I'll give this a go when it's released tomorrow.

"You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions."

(Affiliated, obviously) link: https://amzn.to/2MQh9gP

I like PC too. He gave my all time favourite response to the question, 'what you have been if you hadn't become a professional footballer?' Answer: 'a virgin.'

I heard this yesterday too. Audiobook ordered

Excellant. Thats my holiday book sorted.

Also heard this, like Crouchy and Mrs Crouchy. There was a time when I thought he couldv'e done a job for us, and he was shamefully treated by England in my view. His goal ratio for England was incredible and should have played more than he did.

I too generally am not a fan of the football autobiography, still scarred from trying to get through Bob Booker's I think, but this may be on my Christmas list.

Crouchy is brilliant.

Always ready to laugh at himself which is a great trait to have.