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[Football] Guess the next headline generated by our near neighbours?



Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
73,370
West west west Sussex
As 'palace tell players to pay up to keep playing' feels like it's been spewed out by a random word generator, what can we expect next?
 


AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
As 'palace tell players to pay up to keep playing' feels like it's been spewed out by a random word generator, what can we expect next?

The club will start asking the first team players, to pay the club, what they think they're worth to be in the first 11!
 


Horses Arse

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2004
4,571
here and there
"Usain Bolt comes in as a free agent to fill Zaha's hole" - Usain Bolt mysteriously released from Mariners to fill the Zaha-hole on £160k/week, only for Palace to realise that they've named their 25 man strong squad and can't play him.
 


Knocky's Nose

Mon nez est en Valenciennes..
May 7, 2017
4,133
Eastbourne
The club will start asking the first team players, to pay the club, what they think they're worth to be in the first 11!

The next headline would then be "Christian Benteke files for bankruptcy after paying £200k per week to wander round a very quiet park in Croydon"
 


Cozzy

New member
Jul 26, 2018
869
Grimsby
Palace to install anti - trip grass with better gripping power to stop players diving and winning free kicks and penalties against them ... no wait that will back fire
 












Pavilionaire

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
30,521
"ZAHA TRAINING GROUND INJURY: THE TRUTH"

"Winger's groin strain caused by free kick mannequin. The winger landed awkwardly after allegedly being shoved to the ground. Manager Roy Hodgson was said to be incensed by this reckless act while the club have fined the mannequin who has been made to train with the youth team cones."
 




Mo Gosfield

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2010
6,276
With near Neighbours I thought you were talking about Crawley

Indeed.....and with Palace, you must be talking about Millwall, Charlton, West Ham, Tottenham, Arsenal, Chelsea, Fulham, Brentford, QPR, Southend, Gillingham, Barnet, Watford, Luton, Stevenage, Wycombe and Reading, who are all closer to Selhurst Park than BHA.
 




Mo Gosfield

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2010
6,276
Palace to install anti - trip grass with better gripping power to stop players diving and winning free kicks and penalties against them ... no wait that will back fire

Ouch....clearly you don't spend much time watching BHA and the antics of Knockaert and Murray.
 


Blue Valkyrie

Not seen such Bravery!
Sep 1, 2012
32,165
Valhalla
W'Crystal Palace don't actually own their Men's team'. No siree ..
 


rippleman

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2011
4,521
The next headline would then be "Christian Benteke files for bankruptcy after paying £200k per week to wander round a very quiet park in Croydon"

Each to their own, of course. But for me, the best NSC laugh of the year so far!

Classic.

Thank you
 






Tim Over Whelmed

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 24, 2007
10,165
Arundel
PALACE TO GROUND SHARE WITH BROMLEY U12s
 


Giraffe

VERY part time moderator
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Aug 8, 2005
26,456
Stand stalls as money runs out.

Zaha plays despite broken leg
 











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