For reasons I won't bore you with, I cannot use the stairs this weekend owing to a temporary incapacitation. I phoned the club to ask if I could use the lift. I was told that the lift is not approved for use, especially by the temporarily incapacitated, because it is not a designated fire escape, and if there were a fire during the game, my temporary incapacitation would mean that I would have to struggle down the stairs, thereby endangering the safety of others. That was relayed to me by the nice lady in the office, after she consulted the stadium manager/officer (I forget his/her exact title). So I am instead going to be watching the Leicester match from the South Stand (I and my companions were offered one off replacements for our season tickets at no cost, and will have to collect them from the stadium on the day). This all strikes me as a bit division three (south). Have I been sold a small box of bollocks, or is this all rational, defensible, and fair dinkum (as our sporting cousins from down under, if there are any left, would say)?
