[Humour] Ultras (Secret Plans)

Perry Milkins · Mar 5, 2018

So what will the Ultras have planned for us next month?

Here are some thoughts:

• Instead of the rhythmic drumming. A jazz mix on the drum ‘boom tish tish’ and a harmonious rendition of ‘Mack the Knife’?

• The team coach decorated and then coloured in. But will it be ours or theirs?

• Instead of the bouncing perhaps some Flatley-esque Irish jigging?

• A big cloth rolled out with a ‘Muriel’ of Damien ‘Damo’ Delaney stating he was just too good for Harry Kane?

• With Pyros banned perhaps some smoke signals from behind Sainsbury’s using an old Commanche phrasebook telling us how devilish they are?

gripper stebson · Mar 5, 2018

It'll be some enormous banner stating how the fact they have been in the PL for 5 years means they are better than us.

Guaranteed.

Gritt23 · Mar 5, 2018

I think you're over thinking it. It will be a deluge of vile homophobic abuse, with an unhealthy smattering of pyros. Simples .... because they are.

DavidRyder · Mar 5, 2018

Seeing as we could be safe by then and they could be floundering, I don't think there's anything they could do that would stop my enjoyment of the situation! (subject to positive results beforehand)..

Hillian1 · Mar 5, 2018

This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

Mr Bridger · Mar 5, 2018

Hillian1 said:
This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

View attachment 94861

This should read “forever sh!thouse”

Bob'n'weave · Mar 5, 2018

This lot have got some real issues. Two-bobbery of the highest order. "Ultra" knobs, loathed by most fans, including their own, unreadable germanic banners, ridiculous pyro antics, that utterly shite chant they think is epic. I could go on but we all know the long list of laughables. Sorry forgot to mention possibly the most odious chairman since Mao.
I genuinely feel sorry for uncle Woy, he doesn't deserve this shower of shit. I think it is time for Pikey FC to put a few wrongs right and bring back the only manager that can really pull off the delusional antics of their own little fantasy football Narnia. PARDEW, come back, all is forgiven.

So looking forward to stuffing them next month. And yes, I think they will up the ante with another laughable stunt when we play them. I can't think what it could be though, i'd have to sniff glue for an hour or so just to get on their wavelength. :wanker:

Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo · Mar 5, 2018

Won't they be too busy with last min revision for their GCSE's?

brightonrock · Mar 5, 2018

Hillian1 said:
This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

View attachment 94861

Mr Bridger said:
This should read “forever sh!thouse”

Bob'n'weave said:
forgot to mention possibly the most odious chairman since Mao.

gripper stebson said:
It'll be some enormous banner stating how the fact they have been in the PL for 5 years means they are better than us.

Guaranteed.

Definitely this one. Something along the lines of "BHA = forever in our shadow". But of course judging from the photo above, it's hard not to be in the shadow of a looming 100ft bellend.

The Gem · Mar 5, 2018

How good will it be if we relegate them that day.

Exile · Mar 5, 2018

The Gem said:
How good will it be if we relegate them that day.

Amazing. But impossible, sadly.

Palace have 27 points now. Even if they get zero more before our game, and we beat them too, they still have 4 more games to take them to a potential 39 points.

lawros left foot · Mar 5, 2018

Bob'n'weave said:
This lot have got some real issues. Two-bobbery of the highest order. "Ultra" knobs, loathed by most fans, including their own, unreadable germanic banners, ridiculous pyro antics, that utterly shite chant they think is epic. I could go on but we all know the long list of laughables. Sorry forgot to mention possibly the most odious chairman since Mao.
I genuinely feel sorry for uncle Woy, he doesn't deserve this shower of shit. I think it is time for Pikey FC to put a few wrongs right and bring back the only manager that can really pull off the delusional antics of their own little fantasy football Narnia. PARDEW, come back, all is forgiven.

So looking forward to stuffing them next month. And yes, I think they will up the ante with another laughable stunt when we play them. I can't think what it could be though, i'd have to sniff glue for an hour or so just to get on their wavelength.

To get on their wavelength, it’s the full frontal lobotomy that’s required, I’m afraid.

lawros left foot · Mar 5, 2018

We could take our own banner

‘You sold him, We bought him’

11 goals’( or however many he has by then)

That’s what makes Murray Mint!

Guinness Boy · Mar 5, 2018

brightonrock said:
Definitely this one. Something along the lines of "BHA = forever in our shadow". But of course judging from the photo above, it's hard not to be in the shadow of a looming 100ft bellend.

Coincidentally, “giant looming bellend” is one of Steve Parish’s many nicknames.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

KZNSeagull · Mar 5, 2018

I would like to know - if there are 3.5bn women on the planet and no two are the same, why do they only make 4 shapes of pad?

Wrong-Direction · Mar 5, 2018

Exile said:
Amazing. But impossible, sadly.

Palace have 27 points now. Even if they get zero more before our game, and we beat them too, they still have 4 more games to take them to a potential 39 points.

Spoil sport!

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

The Gem · Mar 6, 2018

Exile said:
Amazing. But impossible, sadly.

Palace have 27 points now. Even if they get zero more before our game, and we beat them too, they still have 4 more games to take them to a potential 39 points.

Think you forgot about the teams around them no? If the others draw or win lots of games between now and our game they could be struggling

turienzo's lovechild · Mar 6, 2018

primarily homophobic abuse I'd imagine (completely going against what the club they try so hard to emulate- St Pauli- stand for)

Klaas · Mar 6, 2018

Hillian1 said:
This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

View attachment 94861

Thanks for posting that, I'd forgotten how bad it was.

I actually have a small modicum of respect for them for trying to create noise. Everything else though, is SO bad. Just look at that display, look at it for crying out loud!

A teenager could design something better on their phone these days. Just shit.

studio150 · Mar 6, 2018

Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo said:
Won't they be too busy with last min revision for their GCSE's?

What, surely all going own the Ultra apprenticeship route rather than the academic one

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