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[Humour] Joke du Jour.



Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
6,847
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
A man went to see his doctor and told him that the only food he could eat without being violently ill were fresh herbs. His neighbour had several pots of herbs which he grew, and lent the man some so he could pick the leaves off and eat them when he got hungry. The doctor gave him the news he had dreaded. He was living on borrowed thyme.
 


essbee1

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2014
4,078
Hold on, hold on a second, something's not right here. How can you lend someone
something they then eat?
 






Tim Over Whelmed

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 24, 2007
10,165
Arundel
The advice his doctor gave was mint, that said he's got too much thyme on his hands and shouldn't be wasting it on this guy, this is why the NHS is in the state it is, why didn't he just go online for the advice?
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
10,871
Crawley
Hold on, hold on a second, something's not right here. How can you lend someone
something they then eat?

He can buy some and return the same quantity, it won't be the same Thyme, bit like when you borrow a £20, you don't usually give the same actual note back to the lender, just an equal amount of legal tender.
 


Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
49,989
Goldstone
Hold on, hold on a second, something's not right here. How can you lend someone
something they then eat?
He's borrowed the plants, which he can later return. He won't return the leaves he eats, but new ones will grow.
 


essbee1

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2014
4,078
He can buy some and return the same quantity, it won't be the same Thyme, bit like when you borrow a £20, you don't usually give the same actual note back to the lender, just an equal amount of legal tender.

Not if it came into my kitchen. Basil is a classic example. Once you've used the leaves, the plant's essentially knackered.
 








AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
The man could parsley the thyme away by, waiting for Dr Basil(if thats his name), to Oreganover to the pharmacy to Dilly Dally about, a bit more!
 






Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,766
Herts
It's a sexist story. Any fule kno that the leading expert on herb-based disorders is a woman; Rosemary something, I think.
 


Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
49,989
Goldstone
I genuinely think that thyme is the same. Having cinn-em-on tv doing the same thing.
When they're on tv they have a pathetic little pot to pick from, and once picked the plant is almost gone. You can get a much larger plant that'll keep going.
 




Hugo Rune

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Feb 23, 2012
21,498
Brighton
What if the herb is cannabis? I think the OP has a duty to report this to his local constable. It’s possible that he’ll get a bit of Lovage in return.
 






Gabbafella

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
4,636
How many thyme plants has the neighbour got? It seems a bit far fetched to think that one plant can easily sustain a fully grown man.
And isn't borrowing it and then having to replace it each time a little counterproductive? Why doesn't he just buy his own plant?
 




sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,737
town full of eejits
my old chemistry teacher was found dead , hanging from his wardrobe door by a belt around his neck , he was wearing fish net stockings and stilettos and he had a 12 inch dildo rammed uphill arse ......at his funeral which most of the old boys attended the vicar said he would be remembered for his charity work.....i don't think so ....:moo:
 


marcos3263

Well-known member
Oct 29, 2009
919
Fishersgate and Proud
my old chemistry teacher was found dead , hanging from his wardrobe door by a belt around his neck , he was wearing fish net stockings and stilettos and he had a 12 inch dildo rammed uphill arse ......at his funeral which most of the old boys attended the vicar said he would be remembered for his charity work.....i don't think so ....:moo:

:needpics:

Maybe not
 



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