View Poll Results: Who's the absolute hardest of them all?

219. You may not vote on this poll
  • Hippopotamus

    124 56.62%
  • Honey Badger

    95 43.38%
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  1. #1
    Je Suis Rhino jimhigham's Avatar
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    Apr 2009

    World's Hardest Creature XI - THE FINAL

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    "Good evening and welcome to this, the conclusion of NSC HD's coverage of the 2018 World's Hardest Creature tournament. I'm Chris Packham and I'll be taking you through proceedings tonight. No more Smith songs from me, as this... this is the real deal, as you join me here at a packed AnimalDome.

    40 creatures set out on this journey, all aiming to be here tonight. There has been sweat. There have been tears. Even a Tarantino script doesn't come with this much blood but that's nature ladies and gentleman. It's red in tooth and claw and and always has been.

    There have been hopes, dashed dreams and surprises along the way. The Mantis Shrimp was an early faller. The Slug surprised a few folk along the way. The Bobbit Worm disappointed by failing to make the quarters although accusations persist that "Weekendgate" accounted for its sorry showing in 2018. The Tardigrade rather atypically froze and the diminutive Grasshopper Mouse came so close to going all the way.

    But in the end we are left with two doughty combatants: two seasoned, steely, stout warriors of WHC. The Honey Badger came to the tournament with a point to prove. There were those that said it would rest on its laurels having finally reached its ultimate goal. Well it seems that those people just don't know their Honey Badger from a hole in the ground. The humble Ratel has stormed to this year's final with more votes that any other competitor. When faced with stiff competition it simply gritted its teeth and blew them all away. This little chap might look cuddly but its furry exterior hides a heart of steel.

    The Hippo is always a strong contender and its presence in the final is no surprise. What is surprising is the manner in which the "river horse" has gone about its business in 2018. It has simply bulldozed any opposition in its path. Seldom has a competitor reached the final with such ease. So sedate has the Hippo's progress been, it's very difficult to know how it will respond at this, the final stage. Does it have plenty in the tank? Will it simply continue on its path like a runaway juggernaut or does the Honey Badger have the game to stop it in its tracks?

    Ladies and gentlemen. It's time to find out. The finalists are waiting to enter the ring so without further ado, let me hand you over to legendary MC Michael Buffer for the introductions...

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    Thank you Chris. Ladies and gentlemen. The thousands of you gathered here this evening and the millions watching at home all across the globe are about to watch history in the making. These two... mighty creatures know that they are just one step from animal immortality. This... This is that step. So it's time for me to ask you all... Are... you... READY?. I said Are... you... RRRRRREEEEEAAADYYY?
    Ladies and gentlemen. Let's get rrrreeeeaaaaddddyyyy to RUUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLE!

    (Crowd roars heartily)

    In the blue corner, weighing in at 4,000 kilos, Africa's leading killer... the unstoppable, unbreakable, unspeakable king of the river bank. It's the HIP-PO-POTAMUUUUUUUUS

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    And in the red corner, comfortably making the weight coming in at just 13 kg, undefeated in the last two tournaments and winning all of its bouts by knockout... it's the defending champion. He don't give a crap. Ladies and gentlemen it's... the... HOOOONNNNEEEYYY BAAAADDDDDGGGGEEEERRR!

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    Thanks Michael for that unmistakeable introduction. Now, as the brawny battlers enter the ring, let's look at the tale of the tape...

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    And as the pair make their final preparations, going over their fight plan with their corners, let's just take a moment to check out exactly what makes these creatures there very hardest that Planet Earth has to offer. First up... the Hippo

    And now, the Honey Badger...

    And now we are just seconds away from the beginning of this epic bout. You all know the reasons why these beasts are here tonight. We've been over them time and time again but this is your occasion now. The floor is yours. Pick a side, back your creature and tell us all why it deserves to be crowned champion in 2018. Make this thread a seething froth of debate and let's see who is the last warrior standing at the end of three days voting.

    Well it looks like we're just about ready to begin so it's over to you.

    Seconds out... DING DING!
    Albion and Rhinos forever.

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