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Favourite phrases about football



Garry Nelson's teacher

Well-known member
May 11, 2015
5,257
Bloody Worthing!
This thread will probably die a very quick death, but for some reason I thought of 2 old school phrases that I've heard used to describe footballers back in the day...

1. To describe a slow striker: "I've seen milk turn quicker"

2. To describe a striker with an inaccurate shot: "He's hit more photographers than Frank Sinatra."

Note to younger readers

1. photographers used to routinely sit 'outside' the goalposts

2. Frank Sinatra was...........

I'll get my coat.

Any other classics out there?
 




Brovion

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,359
Don't hear the phrase "over the moon" much any more. Back in the day "I'm over the moon, Brian" was like the 1980s equivalent of "Unbelievable Jeff!"

EDIT: It's not one of my favourite phrases by any means, so probably not the answer you wanted.
 
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Yes Chef

Well-known member
Apr 11, 2016
1,819
In the kitchen
Cumbersome Sunday league centre backs often provide a rich seam of amusing phrases;

"He can trap a ball further than I can kick it"

"He has the turning circle of a DC-10"

"His second touch is a tackle "
 




AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,801
Ruislip
Royism's!

Definition: A Royism is an inexplicable decision, quotation or action made by Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson. Royism’s were first detected in July 2010 and have multiplied precariously ever since. Execution of a Royism can leave the subject open to animosity and ridicule.

Unbelievable. What do you mean by that? In 35 years, how many clubs have I had? What do you mean do my methods translate? They have translated from Halmstads to Malmo, to Orebo to Neuchatel Xamax, to the Swiss national team, so I find the question insulting. To suggest that because I have moved from one club to another, that the methods which have stood me in good stead for 35 years and made me one of the most respected coaches in Europe don’t suddenly work is very hard to believe.”

Royism
 




GT49er

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2009
46,715
Gloucester
"He's just letting him know he's there" - usually uttered by the home fans after the big centre half had kicked the away centre forward as high as possible in the air, very early in the game, before the ref. had checked he had his cards in his pocket.
 












timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
9,889
Sussex
"Left back in the dressing room" - a substitute's description of where he played

similarly, manager to a player "you're rub a dub today"

whose got the valuables sock?

his second touch was a slide tackle
 


Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
'He couldn't trap a bag of cement' - Brian Clough (on buying Gary Megson and then having second thoughts) :)

I thought it was a medicine ball rather than a bag of cement.
 
















B-right-on

Living the dream
Apr 23, 2015
6,171
Shoreham Beaaaach
You win nothing with kids. (Hanson).
 




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