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The Penis... ...mightier than the sword?



burnee54

East Upper Hermit
Sep 1, 2011
1,149
up the downs
Hello.
I am looking for some advice from the sages of NSC.

I spent this glorious spring day in the garden, painting the chicken run woodwork with Ronseal weatherproofing in the shade of Seagrass, A colour that I found happily matches almost perfectly the compost bin. Having completed two coats I went indoors for a shower and shave before retiring to The Stanley for some well-earned reward.

As is my usual practice, while having my second "thorough" shave of the seven day period, I was astonished to notice that I had very suddenly developed the ball sack of an old man. There they swung, a full inch and a half lower than they had on Wednesday. My scrotum was descending faster that the lift in a Tokyo Hotel.

Is this normal I ask?

Is it some kind of second adolescence that I had not previously been made aware of? Will my voice adopt an even lower register than it does currently? Perhaps, by the morning I will be a nicely rounded tenor, people may well stop me in the street for a bit of Nessun Dorma, while waiting for the bus.

It's very unsettling you know, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror of the cabinet door whilst stepping into the shower, and noticing that you are doing a passable impression of the "last turkey in the shop."

Any helpful comments would be appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I await an explanation at your pleasure.
 

Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,375
..
cfbdeaf2b939bf53d8a34f6d71a85b39.jpg
 

TheJasperCo

Well-known member
Jan 20, 2012
4,587
Exeter
You know your days are numbered when you could quite happily stand in front of the mirror swinging and thrusting hither and thither like a care-free Newton's cradle.
 


knocky1

Well-known member
Jan 20, 2010
12,938
You've headed off the scale on this one. You wouldn't be a tenor but would be leaving the Baritones to join the Bass. Unless you were a eunuch to start with, which would be a load of balls in this situation
 


skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
I assume, shave twice means, butt, sack and crack, in which case they will look bigger.
 




JamesAndTheGiantHead

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2011
6,217
Worthing
painting the chicken run woodwork with Ronseal weatherproofing in the shade of Seagrass, A colour that I found happily matches almost perfectly the compost bin. Having completed two coats I went indoors for a shower and shave before retiring to The Stanley

I'm not familiar with any of this innuendo, but it sounds positively filthy.
 

burnee54

East Upper Hermit
Sep 1, 2011
1,149
up the downs
You've headed off the scale on this one. You wouldn't be a tenor but would be leaving the Baritones to join the Bass. Unless you were a eunuch to start with, which would be a load of balls in this situation

Of course, you are quite right.. I stand corrected in my orthopaedic shoes.

Can we put it down to poetic license?
 



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