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Is there such a thing as a perfect murder?



pastafarian

pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
Seeing as NSC is invaluable for advice on pretty much anything.

Just finished prediction league scenario No. 3227 with my old man over a few beers and he came out with “shi(r)t, with this one we could end up in the play offs”

Staying quite calm it did get me thinking however, is there such a thing as a perfect murder? Is it possible to cheat forensics? Has anyone got away with murder? Whats the best way to dispose of a body that cant be traced?

Would welcome input from anyone been in similar circumstances
 
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whitelion

whitelion

New member
Dec 16, 2003
12,828
Southwick
pastafarian said:
Seeing as NSC is invaluable for advice on pretty much anything.

Just finished prediction league scenario No. 3227 with my old man over a few beers and he came out with “shirt, with this one we could end up in the play offs”

Staying quite calm it did get me thinking however, is there such a thing as a perfect murder? Is it possible to cheat forensics? Has anyone got away with murder? Whats the best way to dispose of a body that cant be traced?

Would welcome input from anyone been in similar circumstances
Click to expand...

What's the shirt got to do with it?
 












Westdene Seagull

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Patron
Oct 27, 2003
20,994
The arse end of Hangleton
Let's just hope he's not staying in the Preston Park Hotel !
 


Perkino

Perkino

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2009
5,986
Forensics aren't the only thing to worry about, a jury could convict on a collection of witness statements as well as using any internet history against you.

My in laws live in the middle of no where, 4 acres, in the back end of Carmarthenshire. I often fear that if I upset them they could bury me within their land and no one would ever find my body. I'd like to think that they wouldn't get away with it.
 






The Clamp

The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
24,446
West is BEST
An odd question but we can put that down to the beer.
As to your question, there must be a way to get away with it as there are hundreds of unsolved murders every year. Especially in the U.S.
I reckon it's not down to the method you use but the location. I think you just have to do it somewhere the police don't give a shit whether they get the right man or not. Some backwoods in the US for example.

Hope this helps and do let us know how you get on.
 


studio150

studio150

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2011
29,607
On the Border
Stop taking your arthritis pills during the trial so it's difficult to bend your fingers put on latex glove then try and put on leather glove from murder scene. Due to latex glove and stiff fingers leather glove won't fit. Hold aloft for all to see which will ensure not guilty verdict.

Simple.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
59,467
The Fatherland
That would be telling.
 


pastafarian

pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
studio150 said:
Stop taking your arthritis pills during the trial so it's difficult to bend your fingers put on latex glove then try and put on leather glove from murder scene. Due to latex glove and stiff fingers leather glove won't fit. Hold aloft for all to see which will ensure not guilty verdict.

Simple.
Click to expand...

If its gone to trial its not really a perfect murder.
 






GT49er

GT49er

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2009
46,711
Gloucester
I don't know bout the perfect murder, but DNA has surely delivered the death knell to the traditional fictional murder mystery.

"It looked interesting, Watson, but Inspector Lestrade checked the DNA on the body, and it was Moriarty's. Moriarty has been arrested and charged. Elementary, my dear Watson". Not quite as gripping as the original, is it?
Only positive is that it's put the kybosh on any more of the ghastly Poirot/Miss Marple type of detective stories.
 




Baldseagull

Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
10,941
Crawley
One of the reasons for brainwashing people into the belief of a God, he has Hi Def CCTV everywhere and will get you in the end, and for eternity, which is a ridiculously long sentence.
 


Thunder Bolt

Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
Aug 18, 2009
65,402
Beside the seaside, beside the sea
GT49er said:
I don't know bout the perfect murder, but DNA has surely delivered the death knell to the traditional fictional murder mystery.

"It looked interesting, Watson, but Inspector Lestrade checked the DNA on the body, and it was Moriarty's. Moriarty has been arrested and charged. Elementary, my dear Watson". Not quite as gripping as the original, is it?
Only positive is that it's put the kybosh on any more of the ghastly Poirot/Miss Marple type of detective stories.
Click to expand...

You don't even need DNA for this case. It is now known if Pastafarian's Dad disappear, his post is on the internet for ever. You can even be convicted of murder without a body.
 






pasty

pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,259
West, West, West Sussex
Potentially yes. I have just been cleaning the 2nd floor bedroom windows, having to lean quite far out to reach the furthest bits away. It would have taken just a very hard to prove little nudge from Mrs P, and aaaaarrrrgggghhhh I would have plummeted 2 floors down onto the concrete patio and she would have collected my life insurance :eek:
 


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