I am in a SPOT of bother this morning as somebody STOLE MY coat last night and it is a RATHER special ONE. A few weeks ago Mr BARBER got in touch too say he wanted me to head up a SPECIAL team to ELIMINATE anybody ABUSING their loyalty points so of course for the good of the CLUB I agreed.

For the last FEW weeks I have been in SPECIAL training to SPOT anyone ABUSING their LOYALTY points and LAST night was the START of our CAMPAIGN to ELIMINATE this DESPICABLE process. At the end of my training Paul PRESENTED me with a black POOFA coat, similar to the one he WORE at WEMBLEY but instead of the SEAGULLS logo it had our logo 'Seagulls Home Away Ticket SQUAD'.

So last night I was READY , I had MY special LOYALTY points ticket VALIDATOR in my pocket and my FIRST target, a NEFARIOUS individual who posts on here as @El Presidente together with his CHUM @easy10 are KNOWN as CEREAL abusers and I was OUT to get them LAST night.

To ENSURE they DID not KNOW I was onto them I left my COAT on my SEAT, I immediately found @El Presidente , my GOD his breath STUNK like a CAMEL just what had he been EATING ? I could not find his CHUM @easy10 who was NO doubt at HOME abusing the T & C's of his TICKET so I had to RETREAT as I want to NICK the pair of them RED handed and I will get them on Friday. Just like the MOUNTIES I always GET my MEN.

I went back to my SEAT and my COAT had gone, someone must have STOLEN it to TRY and stop the Seagulls Home Away Ticket SQUAD from doing our JOB, if YOU think NICKING my VALIDATOR will STOP me you are MISTAKEN.

Paul HAS got the CCTV of what happened LAST night and UNLESS you RETURN my COAT and VALIDATOR we will put YOU on the LIST.

NOBODY is SAFE from the SEAGULLS Home AWAY Ticket Squad so YOU have all BEEN warned.