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Joke du Jour



Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
61,673
Location Location
A man walks into a library and says "can I have some fish and chips please ?"
The librarian says "Sir, this is a library"
"Oops, sorry" whispers the man. "Can I have some fish and chips please ?"
 


Pavilionaire

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
30,521
He was in the wrong plaice.
 


Grombleton

Surrounded by <div>s
Dec 31, 2011
7,356
He didn't specify which fish he would like.

Is he a Cod man? or perhaps some Huss?
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,337
Faversham
A man walks into a library and says "can I have some fish and chips please ?"
The librarian says "Sir, this is a library"
"Oops, sorry" whispers the man. "Can I have some fish and chips please ?"

So did Arsene get any food in the end?
 








Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation
Oct 2, 2013
10,201
The Race Hill
If the man was conscientious and bright enough to take on board that it was indeed a library after being informed so by the keen employee, then Shirley this would have rung a bell that such a request was inappropriate in such an establishment unless they were in the cafeteria area.
 






The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jan 11, 2016
24,272
West is BEST
Can you clarify which year the man entered the library as in recent times one no longer has to whisper in libraries. In fact with the advent of school groups, knit and natter clubs, coffee mornings and careers meetings normal level conversation is positively encouraged.



P.S this is actually one of my favourite jokes, and has been since 1977.
 


Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
6,847
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
When the man entered the building, he would have noticed all the shelves of books and complete lack of that strong chip shop aroma Shirley? Unless he was blind in the eyes and the nose, in which case I feel quite sorry for him. I hope someone helped him to the nearest fish and chip establishment and that his hunger has been satisfied.
 


SweatyMexican

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2013
4,099
What kind of rowdy youth has to be reminded to keep his voice down in a library? I'd have spat in his chips.
 












chucky1973

New member
Nov 3, 2010
8,829
Crawley
do they have salt in a library? Cant have chips without salt and its not mentioned in the "joke"?
 






Blackadder

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 6, 2003
16,077
Haywards Heath
I'm sorry but this joke just DOES NOT WORK.

I pop into our local library most lunchtimes and the noise is APPALLING.

There are people talking loudly on their phones and even the staff don't whisper.

Now.. when I was a lad... I used to be shhhh'd at the slightest noise. Now I want quiet. I have turned into a grumpy old git.

Now... Where was I?
 




LlcoolJ

Mama said knock you out.
Oct 14, 2009
12,982
Sheffield
When the man entered the building, he would have noticed all the shelves of books and complete lack of that strong chip shop aroma Shirley? Unless he was blind in the eyes and the nose, in which case I feel quite sorry for him. I hope someone helped him to the nearest fish and chip establishment and that his hunger has been satisfied.

How does he smell?
 





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