This year, Southern have won the contract to deliver Santa around the world on Christmas Eve.
They are in consultation now about single reindeer operations, and the remaining reindeer are, as of now, on a work to rule. Although Sothern have guaranteed that there will be no forced redundancies, the reindeer maintain that 8 reindeer are essential for safety reasons, and anything less will compromise sleigh safety and put Santa at risk.
Rudolph has withdrawn his red nose, as it's not in his contract, and the rest of the reindeer have decided that their no-dump over built up areas policy will be suspended until further notice. This means that people run a very real risk of being shit on. (No change there).
uneconomic deliveries will be cancelled. Australia, therefore, will not receive any Christmas presents this year as it is the furthest from the North Pole. There is a long-term plan to close branch deliveries, and therefore the Caribbean, Seychelles, and other small island chains will have their services slowly reduced to the point where they are non-existent.
Southern received a government hand out of 20 million carrots for the reindeer, but only offered each reindeer a one off payment of 1000 carrots in the hope of calling off any further industrial action. This offer was refused. What has happened to the remaining carrots is unclear at this time, but it is widely thought that they have been absorbed by management costs....or just absorbed by management.
A replacement gift service is available. Presents can be collected direct from Argos.
They are in consultation now about single reindeer operations, and the remaining reindeer are, as of now, on a work to rule. Although Sothern have guaranteed that there will be no forced redundancies, the reindeer maintain that 8 reindeer are essential for safety reasons, and anything less will compromise sleigh safety and put Santa at risk.
Rudolph has withdrawn his red nose, as it's not in his contract, and the rest of the reindeer have decided that their no-dump over built up areas policy will be suspended until further notice. This means that people run a very real risk of being shit on. (No change there).
uneconomic deliveries will be cancelled. Australia, therefore, will not receive any Christmas presents this year as it is the furthest from the North Pole. There is a long-term plan to close branch deliveries, and therefore the Caribbean, Seychelles, and other small island chains will have their services slowly reduced to the point where they are non-existent.
Southern received a government hand out of 20 million carrots for the reindeer, but only offered each reindeer a one off payment of 1000 carrots in the hope of calling off any further industrial action. This offer was refused. What has happened to the remaining carrots is unclear at this time, but it is widely thought that they have been absorbed by management costs....or just absorbed by management.
A replacement gift service is available. Presents can be collected direct from Argos.
