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Joke du Jour



Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
A moderator on NSC goes to his GP with an intimate problem.

"Doctor, I've got an orange penis"

"So you do. Never seen that before. Could it be work-related, do you think?"

"I don't think so, unless spreadsheets cause it"

"Hmm. Well, what do you do in the evening?"

"Most of the time I sit on the sofa watching porn and eating Wotsits".
 




Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
Either I have missed the amusing bit (certainly possible) or that is one of the worst jokes that I have EVER heard. Not even going to try and dissect it !
 




Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,110
Surrey
Either I have missed the amusing bit (certainly possible) or that is one of the worst joke that I have EVER heard. Not even going to try and dissect it !

Correct. Shockingly crap. Here is my joke du jour (which I think you'll agree is MUCH better):


Man in the library: "I have come in to collect that book I reserved about small penises"
Librarian: "I don't think it's in yet"
Man: "Yes, that's the one".
 




Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
Correct. Shockingly crap. Here is my joke du jour (which I think you'll agree is MUCH better):


Man in the library: "I have come in to collect that book I reserved about small penises"
Librarian: "I don't think it's in yet"
Man: "Yes, that's the one".

Yep :thumbsup:
 


Moshe Gariani

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2005
12,068
Correct. Shockingly crap. Here is my joke du jour (which I think you'll agree is MUCH better):


Man in the library: "I have come in to collect that book I reserved about small penises"
Librarian: "I don't think it's in yet"
Man: "Yes, that's the one".
Agree. :lolol:
 










Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
Correct. Shockingly crap. Here is my joke du jour (which I think you'll agree is MUCH better):


Man in the library: "I have come in to collect that book I reserved about small penises"
Librarian: "I don't think it's in yet"
Man: "Yes, that's the one".

Agreed.

:nono:
 




grubbyhands

Well-known member
Dec 8, 2011
2,283
Godalming
I went to a nudist wedding once and came within 3 inches from being the best man.
 


alfredmizen

Banned
Mar 11, 2015
6,342
"Hello, have you got any porn?"
"Do you mind! This is a library"
"Oh, sorry" *whispers* "do you have any porn?"
 






Buzzer

Languidly Clinical
Oct 1, 2006
26,121
The Pope is checking into a Las Vegas hotel but he's a little worried about the reputation that these places have so finally as he is given his room key he asks:

"Can I ask, is there a TV in the room? "

"Yes your eminence"

"and is the porn channel disabled?"

"Oh no, sorry. We've only got the normal stuff"
 






Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
The Pope is checking into a Las Vegas hotel but he's a little worried about the reputation that these places have so finally as he is given his room key he asks:

"Can I ask, is there a TV in the room? "

"Yes your eminence"

"and is the porn channel disabled?"

"Oh no, sorry. We've only got the normal stuff"

Sorry, genuine lol. Very good.
 




Brovion

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 6, 2003
19,322
Correct. Shockingly crap. Here is my joke du jour (which I think you'll agree is MUCH better):


Man in the library: "I have come in to collect that book I reserved about small penises"
Librarian: "I don't think it's in yet"
Man: "Yes, that's the one".

Oh well if we're doing library jokes ...

A librarian sees an attractive woman browsing the Literature shelves. Being a librarian he's never had a shag and he's getting desperate, so he decides to chat this woman up. Ignoring the 'Silence' rule he walked up to her.
"Tell me," he whispered. "Do you like Dickens?"
The girl thought for a minute.
"Dunno", she replied, "I've never been to one."
 


Icy Gull

Back on the rollercoaster
Jul 5, 2003
72,015
Oh well if we're doing library jokes ...

A librarian sees an attractive woman browsing the Literature shelves. Being a librarian he's never had a shag and he's getting desperate, so he decides to chat this woman up. Ignoring the 'Silence' rule he walked up to her.
"Tell me," he whispered. "Do you like Dickens?"
The girl thought for a minute.
"Dunno", she replied, "I've never been to one."

Am I being incredibly dense today? How is that funny? :shrug:

I normally like shit jokes :smile:
 



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