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Estate Agent bullshit description



goldstone

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
7,108
"Nestled beneath the magnificent South Downs and close to meadows and woodlands, Burgess Hill provides a wonderful setting for ...."

Burgess Hill is not "nestled" beneath the South Downs!! It is four miles from the Downs. Poynings and Fulking are nestled beneath the Downs.

And the South Downs are very lovely, but magnificent???

I think Estate Agents live in a different world to normal people.
 

Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 11, 2003
73,270
West west west Sussex
They couldn't BS their way out of one of my very first questions, asked right back in the day, when looking to buy my first flat:-

I, rather naively, asked:-

'Why has that big square been cut out of the carpet'?
(sighing) 'that's where they eventually found the previous owners body'.

OK so what other 2 bedroom flats have you got for £30,000 - oh yes kids I had an extensive choice.
 

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Mar 27, 2013
51,892
Burgess Hill
"Nestled beneath the magnificent South Downs and close to meadows and woodlands, Burgess Hill provides a wonderful setting for ...."

Burgess Hill is not "nestled" beneath the South Downs!! It is four miles from the Downs. Poynings and Fulking are nestled beneath the Downs.

And the South Downs are very lovely, but magnificent???

I think Estate Agents live in a different world to normal people.

The South Downs are magnificent.

Burgess Hill isn't
 


LVGull

New member
May 13, 2016
1,959
"Nestled beneath the magnificent South Downs and close to meadows and woodlands, Burgess Hill provides a wonderful setting for ...."

Burgess Hill is not "nestled" beneath the South Downs!! It is four miles from the Downs. Poynings and Fulking are nestled beneath the Downs.

And the South Downs are very lovely, but magnificent???

I think Estate Agents live in a different world to normal people.

You should read Cubitt and Wests from Rustington. Never read anything like it.
 

Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
Bugs Holes is nowhere near the Downs, and they have built crap houses over the meadows and woodland.
 


Chicken Run

Member Since Jul 2003
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 17, 2003
18,215
Valley of Hangleton
I have it on good knowledge that the vast majority of agents only write this bullshit to appease their clients (home owners) most would rather show a few photos and a floor plan if they could get away with it.....
 

Rod Marsh

New member
Aug 9, 2013
1,254
Sussex
Bugs Holes is nowhere near the Downs, and they have built crap houses over the meadows and woodland.

Yes, Burgess Hill isn't great. If I had choice I'd move to Cuckfield, Lindfield, Hurst etc. However, I can say that from my bedroom I do have a lovely view of the south downs. So to say it's not near isn't correct.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 11, 2003
59,071
The Fatherland
When you buy somewhere over here the buyer typically pays around 13% of the sale price in various taxes and fees. 6-7% of that is a fee to the estate agent. I also found out the agent gets some dollar from the seller as well. Money for old rope.

What I found wierd is the professional services, professions which need years of training, like lawyers and architects get a fraction of this from the sale.
 

Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation
Oct 2, 2013
10,201
The Race Hill
Capture.JPG
 

Live by the sea

Well-known member
Oct 21, 2016
4,718
I'm happy to respond to any queries anyone has, If that helps at all. I work for one of the most successful agents in Brighton.
 


smudge

Up the Albion!
Jul 8, 2003
7,360
On the ocean wave
Just going through the process of having to deal with these plebs. If you ever have the misfortune of having to deal with a company called Move Revolution, prepare yourself for a torrent of PR crap from a bearded hipster wanabee ****.
 

Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 11, 2003
59,071
The Fatherland
bearded hipster wanabee ****.

They seemed to have moved on a bit. Last time I engaged with a UK estate agents they looked like lower league footballers (you know, stupid hair, Next suit and a tie with a huge knot,) and drove minis.
 
Oct 25, 2003
23,964
I find estate agents photos hilarious at times. For example one place I saw had one photo and one photo only- of the fridge! If I was the owner I'd be furious

You're clearly in the house, why not take as many photos as possible?!
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Jul 11, 2003
59,071
The Fatherland

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