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A thread full of made up jokes



mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member
Dec 4, 2003
21,481
England
I listened back to some classic Adam and Joe podcasts where they asked people to send in their made up jokes.

So I invite NSC to do the same. I find the tip is to start at a phrase/saying and work backwards.

Often the more convoluted, over-complicated route to the punchline, the better.

For example:

"Why would a military constructed building for defence of territories be the best in the numbers game on Countdown?"
"Because it's the fort that counts"

GO! (I expect this to die on it's arse)
 






mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member
Dec 4, 2003
21,481
England
What's the best sport to play on a Saturday night, at a time roughly just before Match of the Day starts?

Tennish
 






narly101

Well-known member
Feb 16, 2009
2,683
London
Whats brown and sticky?

A stick.

-------

What do you get with surprise pees?

Wet legs.
 


mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member
Dec 4, 2003
21,481
England
Why was Johhny Nash happy when his mistress Claire Lee killed his wife, Lorraine?

He can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone.
 
















AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
The other night I watched this clown with joke hair running about totally embarrassing himself, bumping into people, being a complete dick and not terrorising anybody.

Why did Southgate bring on Rooney.
 


Luke93

STAND OR FALL
Jun 23, 2013
5,028
Shoreham
IMG_1268.JPG

A lesbians motto.
 










mejonaNO12 aka riskit

Well-known member
Dec 4, 2003
21,481
England
Remember, if they are not made up by you then you are only cheating yourself.

I got stopped by the police the other day. After a slight argument the policeman grabbed me arms and CUFFED me. I couldn't believe it.
I was desperate to be let go. I begged and begged and soon got into bribing. I managed to fish out a £20 note but the policeman wasn't interested. I then grabbed a Tenner. Still nothing.
"All I've got are these 10 and 20p's officer" I exclaimed.

"That'll do" the policeman said, and he undid the cuffs.

Turns out change is as good as arrest.
 






Mr Bridger

Sound of the suburbs
Feb 25, 2013
4,408
Earth
Elton John is much like the 2 bedroom flat I rent out,

He comes fully FURNISHed.
 



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