...who'd ever lived.
"Sir Alan Pardew is no stranger to triumph. It is often said that if you pushed him into the sea, the sheer weight of trophies and medals about his person would drag him instantly to the bottom – rendering him a handsome meal for the whelks."
"And to think, the most remarkable Englishman ever to have lived (he beat Winston Churchill and Ant McPartlin in a recent poll) was propelled into his extraordinary life by one fateful football match."
"Amazingly, back in 2016 few people saw the glorious Pardew we all see today. In fact some people even thought he was, in the parlance of the day, ‘a bit of a tit’. Whereas the enlightened people of 2031 see brilliance and heroism, the dimwits from 2016 saw the kind of man who’d send your mum slow-motion videos of his testicles eerily swinging over a bowl of Coco Pops."
"To everyone’s amazement, Pardew then turned his back on sport – instead devoting his time to teaching underprivileged children how to part their hair in a jaunty way."
Spectacular. All of the piece here >>> http://blog.paddypower.com/football...-final-win-made-greatest-man-whod-ever-lived/
"Sir Alan Pardew is no stranger to triumph. It is often said that if you pushed him into the sea, the sheer weight of trophies and medals about his person would drag him instantly to the bottom – rendering him a handsome meal for the whelks."
"And to think, the most remarkable Englishman ever to have lived (he beat Winston Churchill and Ant McPartlin in a recent poll) was propelled into his extraordinary life by one fateful football match."
"Amazingly, back in 2016 few people saw the glorious Pardew we all see today. In fact some people even thought he was, in the parlance of the day, ‘a bit of a tit’. Whereas the enlightened people of 2031 see brilliance and heroism, the dimwits from 2016 saw the kind of man who’d send your mum slow-motion videos of his testicles eerily swinging over a bowl of Coco Pops."
"To everyone’s amazement, Pardew then turned his back on sport – instead devoting his time to teaching underprivileged children how to part their hair in a jaunty way."
Spectacular. All of the piece here >>> http://blog.paddypower.com/football...-final-win-made-greatest-man-whod-ever-lived/