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NSC: A Guide for Visitors



Stato

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2011
6,528
As we seem to have a lot of visitors from other clubs, I thought perhaps we should provide tips for tourists. Lets give fans of other clubs the knowledge they will need to successfully navigate NSC. To start I offer an introduction to the locals:

NSC Inhabitants:


This board is made up of several distinct groups:

a) Palace fans: Some friendly, some not, some, weirdly, pretending to be Brighton fans;

b) Fans of other clubs: some, perhaps like you, visiting because their team is to play Brighton, some who like the large amounts of non-football stuff and one who claims to support Oxford, but who seems solely motivated by an inexplicable hatred of everything to do with BHA;

c) Brighton fans: This is the largest group. The first thing you need to know about Brighton fans is that they support Brighton. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth remembering, as it may explain why they look at matters involving Brighton in a different way to you. For instance:

You may view Brighton as a small club with no history. This is either because you think history is measured by trophies, or because you don’t know our history. If the first is true, presumably you also think that the British Working Class has no history because none of them has ever been king. If the second is true, then that’s no shame: We probably don’t know the history of your club either. All you need to know about our recent history, which involves heartache and joy, poetry, trumpets and destruction of goalposts, very long trips to home games, very long waits for planning consents, lobbying of parliament, an illicit pie, a Knight, a Bloom and the occasional bit of football, is that it has formed our character.

Brighton fans are argumentative, they are quick to find offence and they have a keen sense of injustice. This means that we won’t ever shut up about things that we view as unfair. This may come across as a bit precious when applied to refereeing decisions from thirty years ago, but it is also what drives many on here to work to support fans of other clubs who are facing injustice. Try to remember that the stubborn git who is arguing with you about a sending off, would be just as stubborn when offering you help to defend of your rights, were your club to be stolen away from you by indifferent moneymen.

Most Brighton fans are from Sussex. You probably know or care little about Sussex, but it may interest you to know that it has more millionaires per head of the population than any other county in the UK. This suggests that a lot of people who could afford to live anywhere choose to live in Sussex. Like any county, it has its run down bits but a lot of people on here think it’s the best place in the country. That is their view. If you are from Yorkshire, perhaps you can understand people having the view that their home is in some way that bit more special than anywhere else. Think of your belief that Yorkshire is the greatest place on the earth. It’s like that, except based on facts and reasons.
 








Stato

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2011
6,528
d. We really don't give a shiney shite what you think

Or, in the local vernacular:

Some folks as come to Sussex,
They reckons as they know -
A durn sight better what to do
Than simple folks, like me and you,
Could possibly suppose.

But them as comes to Sussex,
They mustn't push and shove,
For Sussex will be Sussex,
And Sussex won't be druv!

Mus Wilfred come to Sussex,
Us heaved a stone at he,
Because he reckoned he could teach
Our Sussex fishers how to reach
The fishes in the sea.

But when he dwelt among us,
Us gave un land and luv,
For Sussex will be Sussex,
And Sussex won't be druv!

All folks as come to Sussex
Must follow Sussex ways -
And when they've larned to know us well,
There's no place else they'll wish to dwell
In all their blessed days -

There ant no place like Sussex,
Until ye goos above,
For Sussex will be Sussex,
And Sussex won't be druv.
W Victor Cook 1914
 




Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
69,880
Or, in the local vernacular:

Some folks as come to Sussex,
They reckons as they know -
A durn sight better what to do
Than simple folks, like me and you,
Could possibly suppose.

But them as comes to Sussex,
They mustn't push and shove,
For Sussex will be Sussex,
And Sussex won't be druv!

Mus Wilfred come to Sussex,
Us heaved a stone at he,
Because he reckoned he could teach
Our Sussex fishers how to reach
The fishes in the sea.

But when he dwelt among us,
Us gave un land and luv,
For Sussex will be Sussex,
And Sussex won't be druv!

All folks as come to Sussex
Must follow Sussex ways -
And when they've larned to know us well,
There's no place else they'll wish to dwell
In all their blessed days -

There ant no place like Sussex,
Until ye goos above,
For Sussex will be Sussex,
And Sussex won't be druv.
W Victor Cook 1914

Or, in the local vernacular, modern abridged version:


Sussex won't be druv, bruv.


THPP 2016
 








Eeyore

Lord Donkey of Queen's Park
NSC Patreon
Apr 5, 2014
23,381
As we seem to have a lot of visitors from other clubs, I thought perhaps we should provide tips for tourists. Lets give fans of other clubs the knowledge they will need to successfully navigate NSC. To start I offer an introduction to the locals:

NSC Inhabitants:


This board is made up of several distinct groups:

a) Palace fans: Some friendly, some not, some, weirdly, pretending to be Brighton fans;

b) Fans of other clubs: some, perhaps like you, visiting because their team is to play Brighton, some who like the large amounts of non-football stuff and one who claims to support Oxford, but who seems solely motivated by an inexplicable hatred of everything to do with BHA;

c) Brighton fans: This is the largest group. The first thing you need to know about Brighton fans is that they support Brighton. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth remembering, as it may explain why they look at matters involving Brighton in a different way to you. For instance:

You may view Brighton as a small club with no history. This is either because you think history is measured by trophies, or because you don’t know our history. If the first is true, presumably you also think that the British Working Class has no history because none of them has ever been king. If the second is true, then that’s no shame: We probably don’t know the history of your club either. All you need to know about our recent history, which involves heartache and joy, poetry, trumpets and destruction of goalposts, very long trips to home games, very long waits for planning consents, lobbying of parliament, an illicit pie, a Knight, a Bloom and the occasional bit of football, is that it has formed our character.

Brighton fans are argumentative, they are quick to find offence and they have a keen sense of injustice. This means that we won’t ever shut up about things that we view as unfair. This may come across as a bit precious when applied to refereeing decisions from thirty years ago, but it is also what drives many on here to work to support fans of other clubs who are facing injustice. Try to remember that the stubborn git who is arguing with you about a sending off, would be just as stubborn when offering you help to defend of your rights, were your club to be stolen away from you by indifferent moneymen.

Most Brighton fans are from Sussex. You probably know or care little about Sussex, but it may interest you to know that it has more millionaires per head of the population than any other county in the UK. This suggests that a lot of people who could afford to live anywhere choose to live in Sussex. Like any county, it has its run down bits but a lot of people on here think it’s the best place in the country. That is their view. If you are from Yorkshire, perhaps you can understand people having the view that their home is in some way that bit more special than anywhere else. Think of your belief that Yorkshire is the greatest place on the earth. It’s like that, except based on facts and reasons.

D) Sometimes we make statements which have no relevance to any given situation except to present ourselves as conceited and worthy. Some are quick to deride folk from other areas of the country through a collection of common stereo-types yet get very precious when roles are reversed.

In a pitch of reason, it could be suggested that any reference to you being estate dwelling benefit scroungers, with the contents of your dustbins providing a suitable lunchtime fare, gives rights to equal suggestions of us being yoghurt knitting surfers of the brown highway. Such reason will be met with cries of foul play. Our ball, our game.
 


KingstonSeagull

New member
May 1, 2013
2,185
Shoreditch
D) Sometimes we make statements which have no relevance to any given situation except to present ourselves as conceited and worthy. Some are quick to deride folk from other areas of the country through a collection of common stereo-types yet get very precious when roles are reversed.

In a pitch of reason, it could be suggested that any reference to you being estate dwelling benefit scroungers, with the contents of your dustbins providing a suitable lunchtime fare, gives rights to equal suggestions of us being yoghurt knitting surfers of the brown highway. Such reason will be met with cries of foul play. Our ball, our game.

I think you'll find that's G or H....
 


Eeyore

Lord Donkey of Queen's Park
NSC Patreon
Apr 5, 2014
23,381




Stato

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2011
6,528
D) Sometimes we make statements which have no relevance to any given situation except to present ourselves as conceited and worthy. Some are quick to deride folk from other areas of the country through a collection of common stereo-types yet get very precious when roles are reversed.

In a pitch of reason, it could be suggested that any reference to you being estate dwelling benefit scroungers, with the contents of your dustbins providing a suitable lunchtime fare, gives rights to equal suggestions of us being yoghurt knitting surfers of the brown highway. Such reason will be met with cries of foul play. Our ball, our game.

See, I told you we are argumentative.
 


Eeyore

Lord Donkey of Queen's Park
NSC Patreon
Apr 5, 2014
23,381






Papak

Not an NSC licker...
Jul 11, 2003
1,862
Horsham
As we seem to have a lot of visitors from other clubs, I thought perhaps we should provide tips for tourists. Lets give fans of other clubs the knowledge they will need to successfully navigate NSC. To start I offer an introduction to the locals:

NSC Inhabitants:




c) Brighton fans: This is the largest group. The first thing you need to know about Brighton fans is that they support Brighton. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth remembering, as it may explain why they look at matters involving Brighton in a different way to you. For instance:

You may view Brighton as a small club with no history. This is either because you think history is measured by trophies, or because you don’t know our history. If the first is true, presumably you also think that the British Working Class has no history because none of them has ever been king. If the second is true, then that’s no shame: We probably don’t know the history of your club either. All you need to know about our recent history, which involves heartache and joy, poetry, trumpets and destruction of goalposts, very long trips to home games, very long waits for planning consents, lobbying of parliament, an illicit pie, a Knight, a Bloom and the occasional bit of football, is that it has formed our character.

and Poo-gate
 


Postman Pat

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
6,971
Coldean
I - no one asked you to come here, if you don't like the way we do things, our opinions or anything else, please feel free to f**k off and not come back.
 




edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
(i) Were loose
 




edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
(j) the annual thread entitled So, What Date Is STRAIGHT Pride?? may not be started any earlier than 1st July in any given year.
 





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