Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
What a BRILLIANT night last night as [MENTION=26954]big hilda[/MENTION] had a EUROPEAN Day PARTY and to get in the SPIRIT of it SHE dressed as Mrs MERKLE whilst I turned up with a MASSIVE English PORK Sausage and [MENTION=409]Herr Tubthumper[/MENTION] got his BRATWURST out. Of COARSE my SAUSAGE stood ERECT and STUFFED everyone while UNFORTUNATELY the BRATWURST was a little LIMP. Things got a little DEPRAVED later as [MENTION=29916]Kellie[/MENTION] turned up dressed as Hilary CLINTON and KEPT calling me DONALD. I would like to show the PICTURES but that SLUT has taken out a SUPER Injunction so let's just say she was TRUMPED.
Anyway onto IMPORTANT matters, a few weeks ago I was SAT watching TIPPING Point with BEN Shepherd when there was a KNOCK on my DOOR, I opened it and Chris HUGHTON was stood there. He said ENREST everyone knows you are the man in the NO but your MASSIVE scoops are RUINING the team spirit and will you STOP them ? I said as a JOURNALIST it's my DUTY but he said if you STOP I'll treat you to a NIGHT out at GALA Bingo with me and GARTH Crooks, who could REFUSE that so that's WHY I've BEAN quiet lately.
BUT this week there has been a MASSIVE squad BUST up and it's MY duty to REPORT it. As people KNOW I no longer go to the CLIFTONVILLE as I get too many PEOPLE bothering me wanting to SEE my SAUSAGE and make other DULLARD comments.
So this morning I WAS sat in SCOTTIES on PORTLAND Road QUIETLY enjoying a MASSIVE No.9 when my SAUCE jumped off a 49 BUS BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT. He said his LIFE is in DANGER as the LAPDOG Barber is doing EVERYTHING to stop this LEEKING out. Apparently at HALF time on MONDAY Lewis DUCK had a MASSIVE bust up with INDIGO Cadleron, Duck wanted to watch his FAVOURITE programme POINTLESS (it reminds him of SEMI) after the GAME whilst INDIGO demanded to watch THE Chase.
It turned NASTY and soon the WHOLE squad got involved, BURNO tried to GAUGE Salter's EYES as they fought over whose BEARD is BIGGEST and BURNO taunted INDIGO over his TRIBUTE night and only 30 people turning UP whilst BANG went toe to TOE with LUA Lua and Hughton stood there HELPLESS until like a MASSIVE Colossus BIG Gordon GREER strode into the DRESSING room and in an INSTANT it CALMED down and that was THAT or was IT ?
DUCK was still WOUND up and 10 minutes from the END of the game he SIMPLY ran off the pitch so he COULD grab the REMOTE control and make sure POINTLESS was on, he is KNOWN as Private PIKE to the team as he is not the SHARPEST fork in the DRAW and FORGOT that we had USED up all the SUBS so we ended up with TEN men.
Hughton WENT BALLISTIC after and BANNED Duck from the LAP of Honour and SAID no way would he play against BORO and BIG Gordon would be the MAN to LEAD the team to the PREMIER League.
I went QUEER with SHOCK as I knew things were HEATED but not that BAD and as I contemplated things my SAUCE sprinted out of SCOTTIES to catch a 49 OUTSIDE. After I finished my BREAKFAST I knew it was my DUTY as a JOURNALIST to REPORT this and to hell with the CONSEQUENCES.
UP THE ARS
BIG GORDON'S VOLT ARMY
SACK TIGHT NOW
Anyway onto IMPORTANT matters, a few weeks ago I was SAT watching TIPPING Point with BEN Shepherd when there was a KNOCK on my DOOR, I opened it and Chris HUGHTON was stood there. He said ENREST everyone knows you are the man in the NO but your MASSIVE scoops are RUINING the team spirit and will you STOP them ? I said as a JOURNALIST it's my DUTY but he said if you STOP I'll treat you to a NIGHT out at GALA Bingo with me and GARTH Crooks, who could REFUSE that so that's WHY I've BEAN quiet lately.
BUT this week there has been a MASSIVE squad BUST up and it's MY duty to REPORT it. As people KNOW I no longer go to the CLIFTONVILLE as I get too many PEOPLE bothering me wanting to SEE my SAUSAGE and make other DULLARD comments.
So this morning I WAS sat in SCOTTIES on PORTLAND Road QUIETLY enjoying a MASSIVE No.9 when my SAUCE jumped off a 49 BUS BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT. He said his LIFE is in DANGER as the LAPDOG Barber is doing EVERYTHING to stop this LEEKING out. Apparently at HALF time on MONDAY Lewis DUCK had a MASSIVE bust up with INDIGO Cadleron, Duck wanted to watch his FAVOURITE programme POINTLESS (it reminds him of SEMI) after the GAME whilst INDIGO demanded to watch THE Chase.
It turned NASTY and soon the WHOLE squad got involved, BURNO tried to GAUGE Salter's EYES as they fought over whose BEARD is BIGGEST and BURNO taunted INDIGO over his TRIBUTE night and only 30 people turning UP whilst BANG went toe to TOE with LUA Lua and Hughton stood there HELPLESS until like a MASSIVE Colossus BIG Gordon GREER strode into the DRESSING room and in an INSTANT it CALMED down and that was THAT or was IT ?
DUCK was still WOUND up and 10 minutes from the END of the game he SIMPLY ran off the pitch so he COULD grab the REMOTE control and make sure POINTLESS was on, he is KNOWN as Private PIKE to the team as he is not the SHARPEST fork in the DRAW and FORGOT that we had USED up all the SUBS so we ended up with TEN men.
Hughton WENT BALLISTIC after and BANNED Duck from the LAP of Honour and SAID no way would he play against BORO and BIG Gordon would be the MAN to LEAD the team to the PREMIER League.
I went QUEER with SHOCK as I knew things were HEATED but not that BAD and as I contemplated things my SAUCE sprinted out of SCOTTIES to catch a 49 OUTSIDE. After I finished my BREAKFAST I knew it was my DUTY as a JOURNALIST to REPORT this and to hell with the CONSEQUENCES.
UP THE ARS
BIG GORDON'S VOLT ARMY
SACK TIGHT NOW
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