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Triggaaar

Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
50,167
Goldstone
Information I, and I'm sure many fellow NSCers, wish I'd learned the easy way:

"According to a 2014 article in Women’s Health Magazine, nurses in Chicago explained that female patients are sometimes admitted due to vaginal insertion of cucumbers, bananas and hot dogs.

The most common problem emanates from pieces of food breaking off inside the reproductive tract, a situation that may lead to infection and toxicity."
 


edna krabappel

edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
47,221
A friend of mine's wife is a nurse in A&E at a local hospital.

I asked her once if she'd ever dealt with patients with comedy insertion injuries. She said it happens quite regularly.

She also said they've nearly always waited for ages before actually plucking up the courage to come in, that they nearly always say they've slipped and fallen on the item, usually while doing something mundane like hoovering....and that- curiously- they're nearly always naked whilst doing said hoovering :lol:
 


Prince Monolulu

Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation
Oct 2, 2013
10,201
The Race Hill
Similarly, a nurse from the A&E dept in a hospital once informed me of a small, rubber wellington boot and a broken flourescent kitchen light bulb (not in the same instance).
 




Titanic

Titanic

Super Moderator
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,067
West Sussex
Mrs T has first hand experience of this... much to my amusement :laugh:


(*working in casualty, that is!)
 


AmexRuislip

AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,801
Ruislip
edna krabappel said:
A friend of mine's wife is a nurse in A&E at a local hospital.

I asked her once if she'd ever dealt with patients with comedy insertion injuries. She said it happens quite regularly.

She also said they've nearly always waited for ages before actually plucking up the courage to come in, that they nearly always say they've slipped and fallen on the item, usually while doing something mundane like hoovering....and that- curiously- they're nearly always naked whilst doing said hoovering :lol:
Click to expand...

Neanderthals from Crawley hospital I bet? :)
 






beorhthelm

beorhthelm

A. Virgo, Football Genius
Jul 21, 2003
35,300
Triggaaar said:
"According to a 2014 article in Women’s Health Magazine, nurses in Chicago explained that female patients are sometimes admitted due to vaginal insertion of cucumbers, bananas and hot dogs.
Click to expand...

i recall a conversation on this subject of bananas with a lady, who very matter of factly pointed out "you dont take the skin off it you doughnut". cue many surprised looks at such a practical advantage of the banana, and moving the discussion on possible male use of a doughnut (ring verses filled, what filling...)

Prince Monolulu said:
Similarly, a nurse from the A&E dept in a hospital once informed me of a small, rubber wellington boot and a broken flourescent kitchen light bulb (not in the same instance).
Click to expand...

wh... why would you try such an obvious risk :ohmy:
 


S

Shropshire Seagull

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2004
8,496
Telford
I heard a story about a chap who went to his doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum.
Dr said: "I've got some cream for that"

and

Another bloke who went to the doctor with a vibrator up his ar$e.
Dr says: "I should be able to get that out with forceps".
Man says: "NO! don't take it out, just put some new batteries in it"
 


Jack Straw

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!
Jul 7, 2003
6,877
Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!
I heard a story about a man who went to hospital because he had a bit of lettuce sticking out of his bum.
The doctor said that that was just the tip of the Iceberg!
 




el punal

el punal

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2012
11,763
Bitterne,Southampton. In the land of wrong stripes
Shropshire Seagull said:
I heard a story about a chap who went to his doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum.
Dr said: "I've got some cream for that"

and

Another bloke who went to the doctor with a vibrator up his ar$e.
Dr says: "I should be able to get that out with forceps".
Man says: "NO! don't take it out, just put some new batteries in it"
Click to expand...

1) Man goes to the doctor and says " I've got a golf ball stuck up my arse."

Doctor examines man and says "Yes, it's gone up a fairway."

2) Man goes to the doctor and says "I think I've got a lettuce stuck up my arse."

Doctor examines and says " I think it's the tip of an iceberg."

:shit: :shootself. :D
 


Eeyore

Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
23,530
Or the man who went in with a camera up his jacksy. His face was a picture.
 


















dazzer6666

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
52,385
Burgess Hill
beorhthelm said:
i recall a conversation on this subject of bananas with a lady, who very matter of factly pointed out "you dont take the skin off it you doughnut". cue many surprised looks at such a practical advantage of the banana, and moving the discussion on possible male use of a doughnut (ring verses filled, what filling...)



wh... why would you try such an obvious risk :ohmy:
Click to expand...

Exactly my thoughts - could easily burn yourself cooking a late night snack in the dark
 


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