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WHC IX: The FINAL***

Hardest Beast?


  • Total voters
    216
  • Poll closed .


Garry Nelson's Left Foot

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,054
tokyo
Welcome to the Animal Dome!

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fireworks_over_denver_IS.jpg

We're here for the finale of the world's biggest and greatest annual sporting event: the World's Hardest Creature. And what a final we have for you! Two beasts who have given everything animally possible through the group stages and three knockout rounds. They are at the pinnacle of animal achievement but only one can reach the summit of Mount Hard as ****castle Animaldom, only one can be Neil Armstrong while the other has to settle for being a beast version of Buzz Aldrin, only one can be declared the World's Hardest Creature 2016. Who will it be? We'll find out soon enough but first lets be upstanding for this years anthem.

With the sad passing of David Bowie, a man who was an avid supporter of the WHC from it's inception in 2007, it is only fitting that this year the most vaunted trophy in the world is called The Diamond Dogs Animal Bowl, and so, let us take a moment to think about the animals that have fallen so that the Wolverine and Salt Water Crocodile could be here, as we listen to the 2016 WHC anthem, Diamond Dogs



Now, lets meet the two incredible beasts who will be competing for the ultimate title in world sports:

Wolverine

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine

WHC IX performance:

Semi final: Beat Grasshopper Mouse 70 - 57
Quarter final: Beat Hippo 54 - 47
2nd round: Beat Mantis Shrimp 67-40
Group B: 1st 30 votes (28.3%)

Wolverine is appearing in his first ever WHC final and he's taken possibly the hardest ever route to get here seeing off three former champions in the opening three rounds and then the popular and ferocious Grasshopper Mouse in the semi final. The Animal Dome can be an intimidating venue so he'll need to draw on all the battle hardening experience he's gained in the previous rounds. He believes he is ready to take the final step to world conquering glory. And when you see what he's bringing physically and mentally to the battle it's easy to understand not just his confidence but how he's been able to knock out three previous champs(an unmatched performance in the history of the competition). So what exactly is he bringing?

First, he's bringing A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E. This fella is a mean and nasty and aggressive Son of a Bitch. He will bring the fight to anyone and anything regardless of his opponents size. You're a bear? So effing what?! He's still going to go for you.

What's he going to go for you with? Strength and power. He's a small beast but abnormally powerful with a strength disproportionate to his diminutive stature. His forelegs are enlarged rocks of bulging muscle, his claws are sharp sharp sharp as are the teeth within his powerful maw which he uses to shred the carcasses of his victims down to the bone.

What if you run away? Ha, good luck! This little bugger can swim well so don't think crossing a river will save you. He can climb trees to so there's no respite for you there. He can even smell you under twenty feet of snow and will relish digging done through the snow until he can reach and kill you.

Vs

Salt Water Crocodile

image6.jpg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltwater_crocodile

WHC IX performance:

Semi final: Beat Malayan Sun Bear 74 - 55
Quarter final: Beat Siberian Tiger 77-75
Second round: beat Grizzly Bear 37-23
Group D: 1st 41 votes(35.04%)

The Salt Water Crocodile is a nailed on future hall of famer and is one win away from becoming the only beast other than the Polar Bear to successfully defend his title. Yep, that's right, his title. The S.W.C is the reigning champion and is competing in a record breaking fifth final. He is the most illustrious and decorated active competitor in the tournament. It's easy to see why when you take a look at what he's got going for himself:

*Outlasted the dinosaurs.
*Can lose a limb(or its tail) and still be a deadly killing machine.
*Has the most powerful bite pound for pound of any beast(it's even more powerful than the estimated bite force of a T-Rex. A T-Rex!)
*Has his own patented killing move: The Death Roll.
*Will fight anything(including swimming miles out to sea to have a go at sharks).
*Can fight and kill on land or in water.

Is this enough to see off the challenge of Wolverine?

NSC, it is time to decide. Bring your arguments, your facts, your photos, your videos and...

LET BATTLE COMMENCE!.
 
Last edited:


Mackenzie

Old Brightonian
Nov 7, 2003
33,508
East Wales
Yeah, the prehistoric killing machine for me....although the mosquito is the real winner in many ways.
 


Kalimantan Gull

Well-known member
Aug 13, 2003
12,898
Central Borneo / the Lizard
Yeah, I'm going for the underdog. The wolverine has always been the king of the WHC ideal that aggressiveness trumps size; and whilst those false pretenders like the badger and mouse have fallen by the wayside, the wolverine is the real deal.
 


















Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,110
Surrey
When is Mellotron going to come on here and tell everyone they are thick for not following his choice or indeed his rules?
 








Seagull27

Well-known member
Feb 7, 2011
3,308
Bristol
Wolverine is the only one of the competitors in the latter stages of the competition who doesn't seem to have a loyal fanbase, hasn't had people campaigning hard on its behalf, no obvious suspicious activities in voting. And yet it has still come through every time against some very tough competitors. This shows that behind all of the drama that is WHC, the people really think Wolverine is the hardest. As much as I would have loved to see the Mouse here, I give my full respect and vote to the much, much harder version of the Honey Badger.

Team Wolverine.
 






Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,749
Toronto
You didn't hear it from me but there should be some on firstrowsports or time4tv.

I managed to get the stream up but it's just endless BUFFERING, I guess they can't keep up with demand. I might end up biting the bullet and PAYING for a subscription.

It's TEAM WOLVERINE for me, my second favourite competitor this year after the MIGHTY Grasshopper Mouse.
 


Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Jul 23, 2003
33,818
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Yeah, the prehistoric killing machine for me....although the mosquito is the real winner in many ways.

The real winner is obviously Honey Badger and will remain so until such time as the mods have to create fake account to beat a different creature.

Why? Because it's pound for pound hard. POUND FOR POUND. Apex Predators are hard but pound for pound they stand at a disadvantage. I may have backed the Saltie against the ridiculous TEDDY (which barely even eats its marmalade sandwich. in an aggressive manner) but the final needs a whole reconsideration.

Consider in fact - as I have in previous rounds - the kids at your school. I bet there was one huge, muscular one who was good at sports like rugby and ate his burgers medium rare. He'd have a beard while all the other kids were still struggling to spell puberty. And, if you were unfortunate enough to brush against him in the corridor you'd fly in to a door and make a permanent your-head-shaped hole.

However, there were always one kid that would take him on. In the playground. On the playing field. Next to Julie's house on the walk home. That kid would have been short and wiry and psychotic and it would have taken on the big kid FOR THE FUN OF THE SCRAP. That's yer Wolverine ladies and gents. That's your 2016 winner. Well, runner up really, behind the TRUE winner.

#TeamBadgerForLife

*power salute*
 




Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patreon
May 8, 2007
12,749
Toronto
The real winner is obviously Honey Badger and will remain so until such time as the mods have to create fake account to beat a different creature.

Why? Because it's pound for pound hard. POUND FOR POUND. Apex Predators are hard but pound for pound they stand at a disadvantage. I may have backed the Saltie against the ridiculous TEDDY (which barely even eats its marmalade sandwich. in an aggressive manner) but the final needs a whole reconsideration.

Consider in fact - as I have in previous rounds - the kids at your school. I bet there was one huge, muscular one who was good at sports like rugby and ate his burgers medium rare. He'd have a beard while all the other kids were still struggling to spell puberty. And, if you were unfortunate enough to brush against him in the corridor you'd fly in to a door and make a permanent your-head-shaped hole.

However, there were always one kid that would take him on. In the playground. On the playing field. Next to Julie's house on the walk home. That kid would have been short and wiry and psychotic and it would have taken on the big kid FOR THE FUN OF THE SCRAP. That's yer Wolverine ladies and gents. That's your 2016 winner. Well, runner up really, behind the TRUE winner.

#TeamBadgerForLife

*power salute*

FFS why is there always a PITCH INVADER holding a protest banner at these big events?
 




hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,094
Chandlers Ford
I heard that the half time show was going to be some kind of display of tantric WAILING from the badgeristas? Is that right?
 


jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
7,699
Woking
Anything that is hard enough to withstand meteor strikes is very hard indeed in my book. Go Croc!
 



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