Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
I feel LUCKY to be alive today, I was GLIDING gracefully down George Street on Wednesday on my way to the CLIFTONVILLE on my HOVERBOARD when SUDDENLY it caught FIRE. Flames were LICKING up my legs and towards my BACKSIDE but luckily Olive from the Pet SHOP opposite Superdrug SAVED the day. She rushed out with a DOG bowl full of COLD water for me to SIT in but I am still badly SIGNED in my PRIVATE parts.
Nothing would STOP me today from being in the CLIFTONVILLE as my SAUCE had PROMISED me a MASSIVE scoop so I was WOLFING down my LARGE Full English with ADDED excitement as well as an EXTRA mushroom when my SAUCE rushed in BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT.
He TOLD me that on TUESDAY Lewis DUCK had a MASSIVE bust up with Chris Hughton as Hughton wouldn't WARE a Christmas JUMPER on the TOUCH LINE just his USUAL GREY one. Duck wouldn't LET it go and when QPR scored he SHOUTED at Hughton that he was a DULLARD and it wouldn't have happened if he WORE a Santa jumper. In the END Duck was so FULL of FURY he RAN off the pitch and wouldn't PLAY anymore.
Hughton went BALLISTIC at the end and told DUCK there was no WAY he would even be in the SQUAD for the Boro game and he was BANNED from WEARING his BLUE santa HAT too. So when you see Lewis Duck NOT in the squad tomorrow or wearing a BLUE santa hat you can TAP your nose and tell people you know WHY.
With that my SAUCE grabbed the REMNANTS of my SAUSAGE stuffed it in his MOUTH and SPRINTED out into the THRONGING masses of George Street. I licked my PLATE clean and left too as I felt QUEER due to my SIGNED PRIVATE parts stinging still.
UP THE ARS
Nothing would STOP me today from being in the CLIFTONVILLE as my SAUCE had PROMISED me a MASSIVE scoop so I was WOLFING down my LARGE Full English with ADDED excitement as well as an EXTRA mushroom when my SAUCE rushed in BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT.
He TOLD me that on TUESDAY Lewis DUCK had a MASSIVE bust up with Chris Hughton as Hughton wouldn't WARE a Christmas JUMPER on the TOUCH LINE just his USUAL GREY one. Duck wouldn't LET it go and when QPR scored he SHOUTED at Hughton that he was a DULLARD and it wouldn't have happened if he WORE a Santa jumper. In the END Duck was so FULL of FURY he RAN off the pitch and wouldn't PLAY anymore.
Hughton went BALLISTIC at the end and told DUCK there was no WAY he would even be in the SQUAD for the Boro game and he was BANNED from WEARING his BLUE santa HAT too. So when you see Lewis Duck NOT in the squad tomorrow or wearing a BLUE santa hat you can TAP your nose and tell people you know WHY.
With that my SAUCE grabbed the REMNANTS of my SAUSAGE stuffed it in his MOUTH and SPRINTED out into the THRONGING masses of George Street. I licked my PLATE clean and left too as I felt QUEER due to my SIGNED PRIVATE parts stinging still.
UP THE ARS
