Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
I've been like a human TORNADO the last FEW days and all I could THINK about was some ME time and a LARGE Full English in the CLIFTONVILLE this morning. As everyone KNOWS the ARS Christmas CARROLL concert is the FESTIVE event of the YEAR and for the FIRST time EVER it will be held in DICKS bar DIRECTLY after the Middlesboro game and it will be the BEST after match event EVER. Forget a COUPLE of FAT DJ's thinking they're Carl COCKS and the groovy GANG dancing like they have physical IMPEDIMENTS this is the EVENT the stars ATTEND.
The BEST news I received this WEEK that Attilla was going to ATTEND and not only would he RECITE a FESTIVE poem but he would JOIN me in our ANNUAL SIGNING of 'SILENT Knight' and he would play the LOOT and I would be PLUCKING my MANDARIN. And the giant FINALE when everyone SIGNS along to SALDE'S 'Merry Christmas EVERYBODY' is a SIGHT to see. Of COARSE the ARS Christmas GIFT stall will be there and POPULAR items include the Dick Tight WALLET (guaranteed UNOPENED), Dick Tight HORROR mask (guaranteed to SCARE any carroll SIGNERS at the door asking for money) and the FORTY notes brick (Guaranteed UNUSED).
I was just TUNING up and letting rip with a FALSETTO note when my BREAKFAST turned up and it was TIME to DEMOLISH it in EXTRA quick time, I was just DIGESTING my BLACK pudding when my SAUCE turned up BREATHLESS with excitement and he said he had something MASSIVE for me. I nearly CHOKED on my SAUSAGE when he said that.
Gordon Greer being the TIGHT Jocko that he is sent his CHRISTMAS cards to everybody and ACCIDENTALLY forgot to put STAMPS on them, the whole SQUAD had to pay £2 to the postman and it all KICKED off with Leroy ROSENIOR TEARING his card up and in DOING so got a PAPER cut that will keep him out of the Derby match whilst INDIGO and BURNO had to be PULLED off as their LATIN temperament got the better of them.
With that my SAUCE sprinted out of the CLIFTONVILLE into the THRONGING masses of George Street whilst I FINISHED my THIRD extra SAUSAGE before launching into my Jimmy SOMERVILLE version of 'Don't LEAVE me this WAY' as I left to get my leg over my TRICYCLE and go home.
Have a GOOD week till NEXT week.
The BEST news I received this WEEK that Attilla was going to ATTEND and not only would he RECITE a FESTIVE poem but he would JOIN me in our ANNUAL SIGNING of 'SILENT Knight' and he would play the LOOT and I would be PLUCKING my MANDARIN. And the giant FINALE when everyone SIGNS along to SALDE'S 'Merry Christmas EVERYBODY' is a SIGHT to see. Of COARSE the ARS Christmas GIFT stall will be there and POPULAR items include the Dick Tight WALLET (guaranteed UNOPENED), Dick Tight HORROR mask (guaranteed to SCARE any carroll SIGNERS at the door asking for money) and the FORTY notes brick (Guaranteed UNUSED).
I was just TUNING up and letting rip with a FALSETTO note when my BREAKFAST turned up and it was TIME to DEMOLISH it in EXTRA quick time, I was just DIGESTING my BLACK pudding when my SAUCE turned up BREATHLESS with excitement and he said he had something MASSIVE for me. I nearly CHOKED on my SAUSAGE when he said that.
Gordon Greer being the TIGHT Jocko that he is sent his CHRISTMAS cards to everybody and ACCIDENTALLY forgot to put STAMPS on them, the whole SQUAD had to pay £2 to the postman and it all KICKED off with Leroy ROSENIOR TEARING his card up and in DOING so got a PAPER cut that will keep him out of the Derby match whilst INDIGO and BURNO had to be PULLED off as their LATIN temperament got the better of them.
With that my SAUCE sprinted out of the CLIFTONVILLE into the THRONGING masses of George Street whilst I FINISHED my THIRD extra SAUSAGE before launching into my Jimmy SOMERVILLE version of 'Don't LEAVE me this WAY' as I left to get my leg over my TRICYCLE and go home.
Have a GOOD week till NEXT week.
