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Moshe Gariani

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2005
12,068
Jonathan Ross arrested for attempting to steal kitchen utensils from Tesco.

Questioned by police he said "It's a whisk I was prepared to take".
 


Goldstone1976

We Got Calde in!!
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
Apr 30, 2013
13,765
Herts
Given the amount of money he earns, it's not very credible that he shops in Tesco; he's much more likely to be a Waitrose man, I'd have thought. That's if his Butler doesn't do his shopping for him, of course.
 


Diablo

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Sep 22, 2014
4,173
lewes
A young girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke with whom she had sex the previous evening, after they met in a pub. He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves.

"You lying toe rag!" she yells, "last night you told me you were a stunt pilot."

"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,721
Worthing
A young girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke with whom she had sex the previous evening, after they met in a pub. He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves.

"You lying toe rag!" she yells, "last night you told me you were a stunt pilot."

"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:

I have never heard of employees in supermarkets devoting their time solely to working on the display of just one cleaning powder. So either the chap was lying to the girl he bedded or she is clearly some sort of goldigger who only sleeps with men who have interesting or well paid jobs. So I have no sympathy for either of them.
 






Trufflehound

Re-enfranchised
Aug 5, 2003
14,104
The democratic and free EU
Given the amount of money he earns, it's not very credible that he shops in Tesco; he's much more likely to be a Waitrose man, I'd have thought. That's if his Butler doesn't do his shopping for him, of course.

Doesn't sound right either way. Jonathan Ross lives (or at least he did) in the Swanage area, not far from my stepdad. The nearest Waitrose and Tesco are both around 20 miles away.

If the story had said Somerfield or Co-op it might have had a ring of truth to it.
 




Cian

Well-known member
Jul 16, 2003
14,262
Dublin, Ireland
I have never heard of employees in supermarkets devoting their time solely to working on the display of just one cleaning powder. So either the chap was lying to the girl he bedded or she is clearly some sort of goldigger who only sleeps with men who have interesting or well paid jobs. So I have no sympathy for either of them.

He may have worked as a merchandiser for P&G who moved around multiple retailers.
 




Titanic

Super Moderator
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,025
West Sussex
Jonathan Ross arrested for attempting to steal kitchen utensils from Tesco.

Questioned by police he said "It's a whisk I was prepared to take".

I am not sure about the voracity of that reported quote... I would have expected "It's a whisk I was pwepared to take".

Which begs the question... what else have they misquoted? Sounds decidedly dodgy to me.
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
61,094
Chandlers Ford
Jonathan Ross arrested for attempting to steal kitchen utensils from Tesco.

Questioned by police he said "It's a whisk I was prepared to take".

Looking at the quote supposedly attributed to Ross above, it seems highly unlikely that his percieved speech impediment is so specific, that he would mispronounce 'risk', yet not 'prepared'. For that reason, I don't believe this story, and am therefore, out.
 






Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,721
Worthing
He may have worked as a merchandiser for P&G who moved around multiple retailers.

If so why did he not mention that the company he worked for were not only a market leader in washing powders but also general household cleaning items and a large range of ladies beauty products. She would then have been more impressed surely.
 
Last edited:


sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,736
town full of eejits
I have never heard of employees in supermarkets devoting their time solely to working on the display of just one cleaning powder. So either the chap was lying to the girl he bedded or she is clearly some sort of goldigger who only sleeps with men who have interesting or well paid jobs. So I have no sympathy for either of them.

sounds like an omo to me..........(cwinge)
 


skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
I doubt if Sussex Police would turn out for theft of a wisk., has to be at least murder. Cuffs isn't real you know.
 




Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,721
Worthing
sounds like an omo to me..........(cwinge)

There was a Chinese chap who always washed in Tide.............. Because he said it was too ruddy cold out tide.
 






Cian

Well-known member
Jul 16, 2003
14,262
Dublin, Ireland
If so why did he not mention that the company he worked for were not only a market leader in washing powders but also general household cleaning items and a large range of ladies beauty products. She would then have been more impressed surely.

Perhaps he may have been unwilling to provide her with the inevitable samples of the dearer products he merchandised, but assumed she wouldn't care about washing powder?
 




Skaville

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
10,099
Queens Park
Jonathan Ross arrested for attempting to steal kitchen utensils from Tesco.

Questioned by police he said "It's a whisk I was prepared to take".

This story is full of holes. Did he "attempt" to steal it or "prepare" to take it? One would be theft, the other would merely be intent. There is also an implication that he tried to take multiple utensils, but only managed a whisk. Ross is an intelligent man and I feel sure that if he wanted more than one item, he would of got them. Somebody needs to get their facts straight.

I can only assume this is tabloid tittle-tattle.
 


sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,736
town full of eejits
You started it.

wubbish....i think you'll find this whole issue was willfully started by someone poking fun at watzizname and a whisk......therefore i did not start anything , i merely contributed to the inevitable downward direction of this completely pointless coversation.....:thumbsup:
 



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