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Life, And What To Do When You're Fed Up With Yours



Frutos

.
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patreon
May 3, 2006
35,493
Northumberland
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received. :thumbsup:
 


Not sure you'll find the answers here Frutos.

Takes a brave man to actually change the entire structure of your life, I'm in the same rut, but at 47 guess I'll just stick.
 


Dorset Seagull

Once Dolphin, Now Seagull
I've been fortunate to have loved most of the jobs I had over the years which is a real bonus when you consider how much time you spend at work. I know it's not easy but quality of life is the key and it starts with your everyday job. My advice would be to find a job that will pay enough for you to survive and one that you will enjoy and things will start to fall into place.
 


Dec 29, 2011
8,014
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received. :thumbsup:

Travelling isn't a cowards way out at all. What's the point of life if we're just going to float through it doing the same mundane thing for 40 years? Travelling is the most inspiring thing you can do. It gives you ideas, ambition, confidence and life experience. I'd recommend you go somewhere cheap so you don't burn through your savings - you may need them later to invest or retrain yourself.

When travelling you have lots of time to think, contemplate life, and discover what really interests you and what sort of person you really are. Maybe you find you hate being away from England or you miss your GF loads, that means you can return to England and set up a life knowing it's a place you actually enjoy. Maybe, while sitting in a remote hostel in a humid Thailand, you realise that you don't want the stresses of life and want to move to a country with a more relaxed culture. This is what travelling is for - to broaden the mind and help you focus on what you really want from life.

Don't break up with your girlfriend through a knee jerk reaction though. You having a bad time in life, your job is boring and dead end and you feel like you're stuck in a rut. However, you might be associating this bad time in life with your girlfriend when, in reality, she is the only good thing for you. Imagine your life without someone to support you, would it really be that much better? "You don't know what you've got until it's gone" is so true, and if you break up with her it may be too late to get her back if you realise she was has a positive impact on your life.

You're only 31 - don't let people tell you you're too old to retrain, to get a new career, to go travelling, to go back to uni, to start a new hobby, to start anything. In a life where we're expected to live to 85 and expected to work until we're 68, 31 is still very young. People who tell you to stop dreaming and that you have certain responsibilities in life are just bitter that they have a mundane, boring life and that they didn't follow their heart. In reality you don't have responsibilities.

You're an educated, fluent English speaker. Even with no training you have skills which people in most countries can't imagine. You will always be able to make money somehow, whereever you go in the world. As long as you can feed and house yourself, that's all the responsibilities you have. Once you sustain yourself you can work towards building the life you want. Think of a business idea, think of a career which you are passionate about, think of a subject which you would love to learn more about. There are millions of occupations in the world, but you can probably only rattle off 300 - 400 in a day. That's because we have a very narrow view of the world and what we have to work as. Once you start finding areas you love, and exploring them deeper and deeper, you'll realise there are jobs which are interesting and that you'd never even have imagined existed.

Admitting you're in a rut is the best way to get out of it. You've admitted you're not happy with life and life isn't going the way you imagined. Now comes the time to change. Lots of people can admit they want to change their life, very few people actually act on changing their lives. Do this now - go on Google and research travelling, or research a language you want to learn, or find some cool places you'd love to visit. Then imagine and plan and write the plan down. Writing things down will make them happen a lot more often than just imagining something before you go to bed. Making plans and talking to real people on the phone to make enquiries will make things happen. Starting making things happen now.
 
Last edited:


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,198
The Fatherland
What work do you do if you don't mind me asking?
 




Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,198
The Fatherland
Travelling isn't a cowards way out at all. What's the point of life if we're just going to float through it doing the same mundane thing for 40 years? Travelling is the most inspiring thing you can do. It gives you ideas, ambition, confidence and life experience. I'd recommend you go somewhere cheap so you don't burn through your savings - you may need them later to invest or retrain yourself. When travelling you have lots of time to think, contemplate life, and discover what really interests you and what sort of person you really are. Maybe you find you hate being away from England or you miss your GF loads, that means you can return to England and set up a life knowing it's a place you actually enjoy. Maybe, while sitting in a remote hostel is a humid Thailand, that you don't want the stresses l

I'd second this.
 




Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,395
I know loads of people that have gone traveling and loved it!
 






spence

British and Proud
Oct 15, 2014
9,811
Crawley
Brighton are top what more do you want? Get a grip
 






Mellor 3 Ward 4

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2004
9,756
saaf of the water
First of all I'd like to wish you luck in whatever you decide to do - personally I think that travelling would be a great thing for you to do.

It sounds like you don't have any really strong ties here, so nothing really to hold you back. I'm sure on your travels you'll find a person and /or place(s) that would give your life more purpose.

My only regret in life is that I didn't travel more when I was younger. Job, house, mortgage, marriage, kids etc means it never happened, I've been lucky to see much of the world with work, but it's not the same, and when I retire in a few years we're off!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 


Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
73,371
West west west Sussex
Just out of interest how much exercise do you do?

You've basically described me when I've been off the bike for too long, particularly this:-
In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it.

The doom and gloom clouds start to creep in, I get down quickly, for me that involves eating badly, which sets off a whole other downward spiral.

Even though nothing has changed, Stat World is a considerably better place to be when some exercise endorphins are flying around my brain.
 


BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
17,014
I'm an assistant manager for a high street retailer.

So you can sell stuff, this is a skill set that can be used anywhere and everywhere. All you need to change jobs in contacts, if you travel and work you will make more contacts and opportunities will arise. Take a couple of steps and see where it takes you, you may end up back where you are...... but probably not.
 




stss30

Registered User
Apr 24, 2008
9,545
Travelling is not a cowards way out at all, in fact you can have some of your best experiences when you are away from the monotony of day to day life. I'd echo the thoughts of others that if you are really not happy you should bite the bullet and make a change. All the best with it :thumbsup:
 


SIMMO SAYS

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2012
11,702
Incommunicado
Basically, I'm 31 years old and utterly fed up with what passes for my life. I'm stuck in a job/sector that holds no particular interest for me and certainly gives me no incentive to go to work each day, yet I'm basically not qualified to do anything else. I'm in a relationship that's lasted for 3 years without really going anywhere, and honestly I'm not sure whether it ever will yet I'm also too insecure and frankly afraid of being even more alone and isolated than is currently the case to risk ending it. In a nutshell I'm sick of my life just drifting along and passing me by with no particular purpose to any of it, I'm just not sure what to do about it.

The thought occurs to me to just jack it all in and spend my savings travelling for a while, in the hope that I'll find something or somewhere or someone or whatever that's right for me, but is that just taking the coward's way out and running away from my problems rather than actually dealing with them? Maybe I should try to find a new job, except I'm stuck in the same situation I've been in as long as I can remember of not knowing what I want to do with my life and as noted earlier I'm probably past the stage of being qualified to do anything except what I already do.

I don't really know exactly where or when it all went wrong for me, I just want to find the right way of somehow salvaging it all. Any advice or tips or whatever from those with any kind of pertinent experience will be gratefully received. :thumbsup:

Frutos---I wish I was your age - I'm 59 :eek: so you are on a plus point :wink:
I sometimes feel the same as you - what's the fecking point.
Had four kids - still owe on my mortgage and in debt to my eyebrows.
Spend hours doing estimates/bills and working my bollocks off.
Never made any GOOD money but we are always busy.
The ninety + minutes watching the Albion gets me through all the dross of life.

This will probably not help you one iota but no one in life is completely happy.

Ask Chelsea's owner :moo:
 


dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Mar 27, 2013
52,011
Burgess Hill
Some good advice above.....as an old git, I'd say
-if you don't enjoy your job, find something else as your working life is very long
-talk to you partner. You might be surprised. Maybe they're fed up too

If you want to do something like travelling, do it now. If you don't, 'life' will take over and you'll spend the next 30 years wondering why you didn't do it when you could. What's the worst that could happen ? You don't like it, so you come home........

Maybe try Teaching English as a Foreign Language for a spell - loads of opportunities all over the world, not much training needed and you'll meet loads of people. Just a thought.

Hope it works out regardless - you've done the hardest bit already, recognising you need to change something.
 


Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
If you want to change and do something different, do it sooner. Otherwise you will find yourself 40/50/60 and still wondering where life left you (life is full of whatmighthavebeens unless you did some of them).
 




drew

Drew
Oct 3, 2006
23,007
Burgess Hill
If you're unsure about diving in to travelling then change one thing at a time. Obvious choice is to start with the job. Get out of the sector you're in and try something different but still in retailling. Alternatively, have a think about what you actually enjoy.and spend some savings on training in that. Being fed up in the job might be dragging your relationship down. Get a new job and that might change. If it doesn't then the new job might give you the confidence to sort that aspect of your life out. At the end of the day, no harm in travelling.
 


Randsta

New member
Aug 8, 2011
2,997
Eastbourne
Who is to say what is the right way? ....lead your life how you want to lead it and it's never too late to make changes :) go out there and have some experiences, some will be good and some will be bad ...but when you look back on your life you can say @ least you tried and you got the most out of life!
 



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