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Ernest

Stupid IDIOT
Nov 8, 2003
42,739
LOONEY BIN
It's bean a SAD time lately for ME, as anyone who READS Hello or OK magazine will KNOW that in the BIGGEST celebrity BRAKE up since KREMIT the Frog and Miss PIGGY spilt me and [MENTION=29916]Kellie[/MENTION] finished and I've TAKEN it BADLY. I still miss WAKING up with HER standing there saying she had a BIG surprise for me and she always GAVE me her SAUSAGE when we went out for a FULL English.

Even WORSE news came this WEAK when I had a letter from the MET saying they were SCALING back the hunt for the 1983 FA Cup Final CASH and only 4 detectives would NOW be HUNTING to find out where it all WENT. It looks like to ME it will NEVER be found and the FUNDS are drying up too and we have LESS than a MILLION left to continue the HUNT and REST assured though I will NEVER give up and I will LOOK world wide and FOLLOW any LEAD I can. All I can do is CONTINUE posting the DESCRIPTION of the GANG , an ELDERLY man with a GOATEE beard and GLASSES on a STRING with his ACCOMPLICE a GORMLESS looking chap in an ANORAK.

I was still THINKING about things when the WAITRESS bought my FULL English to ME and she said she had not seen such BRAVERY since EVIL KNIVEL had tried to JUMP the GRAND Canyon on a MOPED as I had ORDERED not ONE extra SAUSAGE but THREE and also FOUR rashers of BACON and a WHOLE Black PUDDING. She couldn't BELIEVE I was going to EAT food that could POSSIBLY kill me before I had even FINISHED it.

I was just LICKING my plate CLEAN when my SAUCE ran in BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT and said he had MASSIVE news, BANG has FALLEN out with HUGHTON and REFUSING to play for him. I ASKED the question everyone wants to know the ANSWER too (Not why can't I travel from Hurstpierpoint on a METRO bus) but why have they FALLEN out ? My SAUCE said apparently BANG is very BIG down under and he loves to FLASH it round the DRESSING room but he didn't know that Hughton packs what is DESCRIBED as a LARGE battered SAUSAGE there and it got a bit out of HAND last Saturday. BANG and Hughton had to be PULLED off by Indigo CALDRON as things turned NASTY and BANG stormed out.

Now this is only a RUMOUR but my SAUCE is NEVER wrong and if there is no SING of BANG tomorrow then you all will know WHY.

After this SHOCK my SAUCE disappeared into the THRONGING masses of George Street whilst I checked my BUS pass to see if it was VALID on a 49 and HEADED home for a LIE down.

:albion2::albion2::albion2:
 












Tony Meolas Loan Spell

Slut Faced Whores
Jul 15, 2004
18,067
Vamanos Pest
NOTHING will ever, ever top Ernest talking about the SALDE 70s tribute act in Dicks bar. That was comic genius frankly.
 


papajaff

Well-known member
Aug 7, 2005
3,968
Brighton
I miss the clipboard kid, the lapdog poodle and the lardy Jocko clown.
 






Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,199
The Fatherland
NOTHING will ever, ever top Ernest talking about the SALDE 70s tribute act in Dicks bar. That was comic genius frankly.

The Spanish night serving "tappers" and "authentic flamingo dancing" was good as well.
 


NooBHA

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2015
8,584
Normally I could find something to say to any post on here but I am speechless except to say [MENTION=29916]Kellie[/MENTION] ''please reconsider and take him back'' otherwise we might get more of the same
 


StonehamPark

#Brighton-Nil
Oct 30, 2010
9,762
BC, Canada
Normally I could find something to say to any post on here but I am speechless except to say [MENTION=29916]Kellie[/MENTION] ''please reconsider and take him back'' otherwise we might get more of the same

He's throwing his extra sausage up Big Hilda now I imagine.
 






portlock seagull

Why? Why us?
Jul 28, 2003
16,979
Take a bow Sir! Classic LOL!
 






Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patreon
Oct 8, 2003
49,341
Faversham
Made me titter during a committee meeting
 















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