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#jokedujour







The Rivet

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2011
4,512
Jesus & St Peter were bored in heaven. Nothing ever happened. So the pair decided to experience a typical pub/club evening. Having materialised they took a perch at the bar in a town pub. Enjoying themselves they partook of a few too many 'shandies'. A group of young ladies caught their eye and they decided to chance their luck. Well to cut a story short the evening went well and our heroes went off separately into the night.
The next day Jesus finds St Peter and asked him how the rest of his evening went. 'Great, had a fun time and managed to root away blissfully. You?'
Jesus replies it was 'Good, however. After I had seduced her and I managed to run my hand up her inside thigh the bloody thing healed up!
 




SweatyMexican

Well-known member
Mar 31, 2013
4,099
Why are you playing frisbee in this weather? It must be freezing outside.
 




The Brighton Bear

Come on Kylie, get a grip
May 3, 2010
13,876
Rottingdean
Jesus & St Peter were bored in heaven. Nothing ever happened. So the pair decided to experience a typical pub/club evening. Having materialised they took a perch at the bar in a town pub. Enjoying themselves they partook of a few too many 'shandies'. A group of young ladies caught their eye and they decided to chance their luck. Well to cut a story short the evening went well and our heroes went off separately into the night.
The next day Jesus finds St Peter and asked him how the rest of his evening went. 'Great, had a fun time and managed to root away blissfully. You?'
Jesus replies it was 'Good, however. After I had seduced her and I managed to run my hand up her inside thigh the bloody thing healed up!

So she healed the hand of Jesus!
 
















Ken Livingstone Seagull

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2003
505
Maui, Hawaii
A Dutch friend of mine had Sat Nav installed in his wooden shoes today. Bloody clever clogs.

Heaven forfend that I should take issue with this excellent quip, however, technically Sat Nav is "smart" rather than "clever." Thus the punch line, Shirley, would be "Bloody smart clogs." Additionally, strictly speaking, wouldn't he, instead, really be "Bloody owner of navigationally accurate clogs?"
 















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