OT- Job choice...to stay or to go?

elninobonito · Sep 5, 2015

Good folk of NSC, having a hard time currently deciding on whether to accept a new job and would like some opinions...please stick with me..!

Currently, I work in the travel industry for a well known airline, good brand, contract hotels in the areas I love, however, last year I was promoted on a secondment, was in a manager role for 10 months until the lady returned. 2 months later there was a permanent manager position and didn't get the job. More recently there was another position at the same level and again was passed over on this one too. My manager has said "if it was her decision she would have given it to me" but both times the company recruited externally.

I am in a job I like but motivation since has not been there, I am one of the top performing people in my position but paid at the bottom of our scale, have asked for increases but just hear it's being looked at and it hasn't increased. There are a lot of people performing worse then me on more money! As we have a 1 year old money is tight!

I must add, the work place is 10 mins from home and I get to put my 1 year old to bed every night as I'm home in time, get airline concessions, bonus and pension...it's a good job but just something isn't sitting right with me, just not enjoying it at the moment.

Couple of months ago I was approached by a PR and Marketing firm that we work with. They represent hotels and destinations in the Uk market, and wanted me to come on board with them. Role will be different but similar to what I do now, it's a smaller firm that many wouldn't have heard of, they are offering a small pay rise but it's based 45 minutes away driving so wouldn't see my boy in the evenings as wouldn't be home in time. I would be one of 10 people in the company rather then this huge place I work at now, I am interested in the role but most of the pay rise would go on travel and it wouldn't get to see my son as much.

With this new job there is no pension yet, no bonus scheme, and I wouldn't get as many travel concessions or offers but it sounds as though they have faith in me and think I would be a good fit and learn a lot with this firm. The company may also be moving closer next year as looking to relocate.

My decision, do I stay or do I go.... Do I stay at my current firm, taking less money and try and figure out why I can't get motivated but then be close to home and be able to pick up the boy and help out in the evenings. Or do I leave, try this new role, take a little more money where I may enjoy the role and be appreciated at the firm a lot more but not be able to see my son as much in the evenings and only at weekends??

It's driving me mad, what would you do??

Thanks

KZNSeagull · Sep 5, 2015

Are your priorities at this moment your career or your family? From your post I would say family. Stick where you are and ride it out - there are too many unknowns at the moment in the new job (ie pension and location). That situation may change next year if they do move closer

HHGull · Sep 5, 2015

You've already answered you own question I think. You don't want to miss the evenings with your son so stick where you are. Use this job offer to demonstrate your value to your current firm and evidence why you should be earning at least the same as those doing the same role (not as well as you by the sounds of it).

Like you say, the small increase in pay will be be swallowed up by the travelling and family time can't be made up if your son is in bed. I know what I'd do.

MJsGhost · Sep 5, 2015

Have a chat with your boss and tell her you've been approached and although you're not set on leaving you worry that being overlooked before (and underpaid), you worry that your career isn't going in the right direction.

Chances are, some form of pay rise will be offered - if not, you know you're not valued and can leave (I'd try to negotiate a bigger offer from the other place too seeing as the current offer barely covers the extra commuting cost).

Don't under estimate the impact of seeing your kid less though - if you can put up with treading water in your current job for the sake of the extra contact with your kid, then do it (though you can still make your feelings clear to your manager to try and engineer a raise).

Good luck!

beorhthelm · Sep 5, 2015

sound to me a informal conversation with someone at present firm to suggest you are off is in order. that might prod them into doing something for you, and nothing to lose if not. very difficult to know who and how to raise this, i have known people who outright tell their manager they are looking to move (not a resignation) and find pay/promotions happen.

dazzer6666 · Sep 5, 2015

MJsGhost said:
Have a chat with your boss and tell her you've been approached and although you're not set on leaving you worry that being overlooked before (and underpaid), you worry that your career isn't going in the right direction.

Chances are, some form of pay rise will be offered - if not, you know you're not valued and can leave (I'd try to negotiate a bigger offer from the other place too seeing as the current offer barely covers the extra commuting cost).

Don't under estimate the impact of seeing your kid less though - if you can put up with treading water in your current job for the sake of the extra contact with your kid, then do it (though you can still make your feelings clear to your manager to try and engineer a raise).

Good luck!

Can't add much to this really. Looking back (sh@t I am old enough to say that now), I'd never trade a minimal pay rise for what sounds like a significantly reduced work/life balance - and as has been said, financially you won't be better off anyway

Open conversation with the boss is the way to go, good luck.

Beach Hut · Sep 5, 2015

I wouldn't leave as the benefits from the job and work life balance seems much better where you are.

You need to think long and hard about perks of your job, I have and hence 33 years in service under various company names and trust me it all adds up.

Harry Wilson's tackle · Sep 5, 2015

I agree with the replies above.

One thing however is it is best to 'feel in control'. I think you feel a bit not in control. One solution would be to go for the new job then use the offer to lever better where you are. Sounds a bit sneaky but it is the only way to get promotion and a pay rise in many sectors these days - no need to feel guilty.

Where I work (a top 5 university in the UK) the only way to get a pay rise is to threaten to leave (with a job offer to wave in their face).

But you must have a bottom line. I think (as others have said) yours seems to be to have family time. Keep that in mind, and all will be logical and straightforward.

Good luck!

WATFORD zero · Sep 5, 2015

Agree with the two posters above, an informal chat saying that you've been approached and that they have already offered more (don't name the company) and that you are concerned about your career aspirations in your current job. Then just see what the response is. Won't make the decision for you, but at least it may improve your situation. Good luck

*edit* The five posters above (took too long to respond). I wouldn't go through the formal route of getting the job offer and definitely don't resign. (Whenever I had a resignation I always accepted it as i wouldn't be held to ransom. I did make it clear to all staff that was the situation - Talk informally first).

elninobonito · Sep 5, 2015

Thanks all for commenting, I think your right, family time is the priority right now but just being able to get by is not good! Although this new job wouldn't make us any more settled due to the travelling!!

I have already negotiated the small rise within the new firm, I don't think I could get any more. I'm new to this role so they are being cautious, on the other hand I am not confident in my current role I would be able to confirm a pay rise either. It's more if your face fits kind of deal and it looks more and more at a manager level mine don't!

I have until the 14th to decide what to do, I think I'll call my manager into a meeting to chat about the situation to see if I can use this to my advantage at the current firm.

Situations like this, it's tough being an adult!

Muhammed - I’m hard - Bruce Lee · Sep 5, 2015

I was in a similar situation a fair few years back, although it was for a national company so informal chat wasn't really an option.
I was a service engineer and used to stand in for various area managers.
I applied for 3 permanent managerial positions, and on each occasion was overlooked as they recruited uni graduates externally.
On the last occasion I very nearly threw my toys out the pram and almost handed my notice in. I registered with various agencies and got offered a fair few jobs but they just didn't seem right.
I decided to stick with it, and 3 years ago a position became vacant for a trainer.
I now travel the country passing on my 27 years worth of experience. It is far more rewarding than being an area manager ever could have been, and I actually earn more money than they do!!!

My advice would be to sit tight, things tend to happen for a reason

Beach Hut · Sep 5, 2015

elninobonito said:
Thanks all for commenting, I think your right, family time is the priority right now but just being able to get by is not good! Although this new job wouldn't make us any more settled due to the travelling!!

I have already negotiated the small rise within the new firm, I don't think I could get any more. I'm new to this role so they are being cautious, on the other hand I am not confident in my current role I would be able to confirm a pay rise either. It's more if your face fits kind of deal and it looks more and more at a manager level mine don't!

I have until the 14th to decide what to do, I think I'll call my manager into a meeting to chat about the situation to see if I can use this to my advantage at the current firm.

Situations like this, it's tough being an adult!

Just be careful about negotiations on salary I got caught out a year or so ago. I have not applied for a job in around 10 years or so as just asked to do another one and negotiated a new salary where I thought appropriate. Anyway a colleague retired so I agreed to manage both his service and mine and had agreed a 10% salary rise, however, the dreaded re-origanisation then happened so my current manager moved on and the new one was not helpful so after much disagreement and having to talk to his manager as he tried to just delegate the issue I only got 5% rise which was bloody annoying.

desprateseagull · Sep 5, 2015

I can't see how extra 30 mins drive means no time for kids, in the evening- is new job shifts?

Best ask current boss what problem is, re lack of promotion etc. Or get some NSC friends to send some fake 'reference requests', mentioning higher paid jobs - boss may then get the hint!

Triggaaar · Sep 5, 2015

MJsGhost said:
Have a chat with your boss and tell her you've been approached and although you're not set on leaving you worry that being overlooked before (and underpaid), you worry that your career isn't going in the right direction.

Chances are, some form of pay rise will be offered - if not, you know you're not valued and can leave (I'd try to negotiate a bigger offer from the other place too seeing as the current offer barely covers the extra commuting cost).

Don't under estimate the impact of seeing your kid less though - if you can put up with treading water in your current job for the sake of the extra contact with your kid, then do it (though you can still make your feelings clear to your manager to try and engineer a raise).

Good luck!

This.

Sounds like the new job wouldn't give you more money after travel. And you spend less time with the family = bad. And you probably wouldn't get another par rise after being there a while. But if you're really fed up with your current job, then it could be worth going, you don't want to be a job you're fed up with, you might find it difficult to stay motivated.

I agree with Jacko's ghost. See if you can use it to get a pay-rise where you are, and if they really don't value you enough to keep you, run, run like hell.

Mods - please can you change the OPs user name to Grabban.

Bozza · Sep 5, 2015

desprateseagull said:
I can't see how extra 30 mins drive means no time for kids, in the evening- is new job shifts?

I was going to ask about that. It's either strange working hours or continuous very long days if a 45-minute drive means you'd be getting home after your child had gone to bed.

Aside from that my two-penneth...

1. Moving jobs is often the quickest way to achieve a pay increase since it puts your skills in the market to be bought at the prevailing rate. Existing employees may have been recruited at then market rate, but the market could have left them behind. Typically, although there are exceptions, employees will not be able to achieve market rate again without moving or threatening to move. It's an unfortunate aspect of working life that newbies may be brought in to do the same job as you, without your on-the-job experience, but earn more than you.

In your case, it doesn't sound like the move would achieve a particularly significant pay increase, especially when increased commuting costs are factored in. As this is your chance to achieve a hefty pay increase, moving for money alone doesn't make much sense here.

2. Quality of life is very important. Short-term sacrifices can be made to help achieve a longer-term goal, but if you don't know what the path to that longer term goal is, be wary of accepting that sacrifice. The chances are you will regret it sooner or later, but feel trapped until you can make another move. You might feel the need to stay put for a period of time in order to protect your CV, and you'll only get more resentful throughout that time.

3. Security. It sounds like you have reasonable job security now, as well as valuable perks. As you acknowledge, you'll lose that if you make the move. If you did move and the company you joined went bust, how long would you be able to keep going without work? What sort of financial buffer do you have?

For me, this comes down to your negotiating skills. You need to demonstrate why you believe you are worth more. Illustrate the extra responsibility you have taken on and/or are prepared to take on.

You could try the "I've been offered more elsewhere" line, but only if you are 100% certain you want to move, should you not get what you want. If the response you get is "Great news - good luck with the move" and you didn't want to move, you're going to be somewhat stuck.

elninobonito · Sep 5, 2015

Just to clear up, the new job will be finishing later, now it can finish between 4.30-5 ish and only takes 10 mins to get home. New role would be 6.30 finish with a 45 min to an hour drive which would mean. To seeing the boy, sorry should have been clear.

Bozza you are right and this is the more difficult thing with my current employer, approaching this correctly. I don't want to say I have this other job, pay me more, I need to show what I have bought to the company. We are assessed with company wide appraisals etc and my scoring has been highest in my role for the past three years. It would be slightly embarrassing if I ask for a higher salary mention the other job and they say I think you should take it!!

Tom Hark Preston Park · Sep 5, 2015

elninobonito said:
I must add, the work place is 10 mins from home and I get to put my 1 year old to bed every night as I'm home in time, get airline concessions, bonus and pension...it's a good job but just something isn't sitting right with me, just not enjoying it at the moment.

To be honest, if you don't appreciate all these massive plus points, then you're guaranteed to HATE your next gig. It's not them, it's you. Suck it up!

Springal · Sep 5, 2015

I think you need to understand the differences between working for a large corp and a small start up like business.

I've done both, and being part of something smaller is rewarding if it works out (even more so if some share options !) BUT they expect a lot. Generally you won't just clock in and out when you are contracted for.

Given what you said I would stay where you are and review when family life is a little bit less important and when you can be more career drive

happypig · Sep 5, 2015

If it were me, I would have a chat with the boss (assuming you get on ok) and say "I need advice, I'm not sure what to do. I've been approached by another company who want me to go work for them. They're offering more money but I'd really like to develop my career here; however, having been overlooked a couple of times I'm not sure that the commitment runs both ways."
If he/she doesn't come back with a little sweetener to get you to stay then I'd say you're better off taking the other job.
A caveat though, I've been on the same (large) corporate for 31+ years. I've changed jobs several times but only had two formal interviews (didn't get either of them), I got headhunted several times because my field is quite specialist and although the company is big, the field is small and everyone knows me and how good I am.
You might be better staying with the current mob but trying to move yourself into a niche.

essbee · Sep 5, 2015

I'm in exactly the same position; I will be talking with my boss to state the situation and if they don't play ball I'll
leave either soon or in the not too distant future.

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