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And people wonder about how intelligent you need to be to work for the council .....



Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Oct 27, 2003
20,923
The arse end of Hangleton
So, I need to buy a parking permit for work for council car park - easy you would assume ? The website makes it sound easy - although stupidly you can't buy it online !!!!

I have to go to Hove Town Hall ( despite working just round the corner from Brighton Town Hall and council offices I can't buy it from there - IT anyone ??

Anyway I drive to Hove Town Hall after all I can pay £1 to park rather than over £4 for the return bus journey. Take some change. Ah, the morons have changed the meters RIGHT OUTSIDE THE TOWN HALL to phone payment only. So I ring up and it says my phone is registered to a number plate that isn't mine. Five minutes of going through the menus and finally I get to speak to a human. 'Well you've already used that mobile number against another registration and another payment card' .... no I f**king haven't. I've never used this dog shit service before. Yes you have, back in 2008. Errr .... no, I've only had this number a year. Oh, you need to create a new account then. How do I do that. Login to pay4parking and it tells you there. But I want to PAY FOR MY F**KING PARKING NOW !!!!!!!!!

OK, I'll set it up for you. OK all set up. You'll now need to dial the number again. FFS, OK. Then I have to go through the ridiculous process of linking my phone, card and registration number.

All in all 20 minutes for something that would have taken me 15 seconds with a pound coin. Oh well at least I can now pop into the town hall and get my permit quickly.

NO YOU F**KING CAN'T !!!!!!

So take a ticket and sit down and wait - but I only want to give you some money for a little plastic card. Fifteen minutes later I get called to the 'window'. "I'd like to buy a season ticket for one of the council car parks please" 'Oh, I don't know how you do that' REALLY ?? FFS it says to come here to buy them ?? I know wait for my colleague, he knows how to do them. Fi

Five minute wait.

"You want to buy a car park season ticket ?" Yes please. Oh, we don't seem to have any forms printed out. I'll have to go to my supervisor to see how we can do it. REALLY ??

Ten Minute wait.

Supervisor - "oh, I'll print some out, in the meantime Alan ( the name has been changed to protect the stupid ) you could process the application online" WHAT ?? You can do it electronically but STILL need me to fill in a paper form ?? WTF !

Another ten minutes I walk out with my ticket.

Do councils employ window lickers just to annoy the rest of us or do you just have to be incredibility stupid, inefficient, wet and ignorant to actually get a job there ??

I won't be using the pay4parking again that's for sure, I'd rather risk a ticket. One hour 20 minutes to do something I should be able to do online in less than 5 minutes. A pox on them all !!!! WANK£RS.

**** and breathe ****

Oh and using my card - er the ONLY way I can pay - cost me 10p extra and if I want proof to my phone that I've paid then that will be another 15p. SCR£WING WANK£RS !!!
 

Mileoakman

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2003
1,047
The name gives it away
While I understand your frustration with the Council at least half of your rant is against a private company that is nothing to do with them. However as you repeatedly take every opportunity to remind us of your views on the Public Sector perhaps the fact that this slipped your mind is understandable.
 

soistes

Well-known member
Sep 12, 2012
2,642
Brighton
I've found the new pay by phone parking system in Brighton super easy to use, I must say. Register once, and then you can park anywhere in the city without having to worry about finding coins for the meter etc etc. I guess it also means that the council (or its contractors) save on having to have people going round collecting money from meters (or losing money from vandalised meters). Plus using the app (downloaded in 5 seconds to your phone if you haven't already got it) means that people like the OP who are so offended by their interaction with public servants can park and pay without having to interact with them at all (a blessing for both sides, I would imagine).
 


FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,365
Crawley
Reminds me of a few years ago when I was Headhunted from a large IT co. (rhymes with Boracle) by another company that we'll call "I've Been Mugged".

On day 1 I enquired about getting my company car - "Oh you need to claim one online".
How do I do that? "You need to log on to the intranet"
I don't have my laptop yet "You'll need to apply for one"
How do I do that? "Via the Intranet"
How do I do that - I don't have a laptop? "You can use one of those screens over there"
OK I'll do that........
Hang on I need a password "You'll need to apply for one on line"
How do I do that - I don't have a laptop - and so I cant use the intranet - and so I cant sign on - so I cant ask for a password - so I cant get a company car .....

"Oooh, we've never come across this before .................."

Me: Where are the Laptops? "They are kept in Basingstoke" (about 45 mins away)
Who has them? "Fred Nobody" (cant remember his name)

So I drove to Basingstoke and set a precedent by actually going to talk to someone, who had a stock of laptops in his office, and collected one from him - and a password.
Got my car later that day ....


I was apparently the first person to do this since they initiated an online system - that patently didn't work!! I'd Been Mugged!!!!

I left after 10 months.
 

Diablo

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Sep 22, 2014
4,172
lewes
So, I need to buy a parking permit for work for council car park - easy you would assume ? The website makes it sound easy - although stupidly you can't buy it online !!!!

I have to go to Hove Town Hall ( despite working just round the corner from Brighton Town Hall and council offices I can't buy it from there - IT anyone ??

Anyway I drive to Hove Town Hall after all I can pay £1 to park rather than over £4 for the return bus journey. Take some change. Ah, the morons have changed the meters RIGHT OUTSIDE THE TOWN HALL to phone payment only. So I ring up and it says my phone is registered to a number plate that isn't mine. Five minutes of going through the menus and finally I get to speak to a human. 'Well you've already used that mobile number against another registration and another payment card' .... no I f**king haven't. I've never used this dog shit service before. Yes you have, back in 2008. Errr .... no, I've only had this number a year. Oh, you need to create a new account then. How do I do that. Login to pay4parking and it tells you there. But I want to PAY FOR MY F**KING PARKING NOW !!!!!!!!!

OK, I'll set it up for you. OK all set up. You'll now need to dial the number again. FFS, OK. Then I have to go through the ridiculous process of linking my phone, card and registration number.

All in all 20 minutes for something that would have taken me 15 seconds with a pound coin. Oh well at least I can now pop into the town hall and get my permit quickly.

NO YOU F**KING CAN'T !!!!!!

So take a ticket and sit down and wait - but I only want to give you some money for a little plastic card. Fifteen minutes later I get called to the 'window'. "I'd like to buy a season ticket for one of the council car parks please" 'Oh, I don't know how you do that' REALLY ?? FFS it says to come here to buy them ?? I know wait for my colleague, he knows how to do them. Fi

Five minute wait.

"You want to buy a car park season ticket ?" Yes please. Oh, we don't seem to have any forms printed out. I'll have to go to my supervisor to see how we can do it. REALLY ??

Ten Minute wait.

Supervisor - "oh, I'll print some out, in the meantime Alan ( the name has been changed to protect the stupid ) you could process the application online" WHAT ?? You can do it electronically but STILL need me to fill in a paper form ?? WTF !

Another ten minutes I walk out with my ticket.

Do councils employ window lickers just to annoy the rest of us or do you just have to be incredibility stupid, inefficient, wet and ignorant to actually get a job there ??

I won't be using the pay4parking again that's for sure, I'd rather risk a ticket. One hour 20 minutes to do something I should be able to do online in less than 5 minutes. A pox on them all !!!! WANK£RS.

**** and breathe ****

Oh and using my card - er the ONLY way I can pay - cost me 10p extra and if I want proof to my phone that I've paid then that will be another 15p. SCR£WING WANK£RS !!!



You should try dealing with ESCC Highways,planners or Council tax department at Lewes...Apart from senior staff , it does seem a prerequisite to employ people with Zero common sense.
 

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Oct 27, 2003
20,923
The arse end of Hangleton
While I understand your frustration with the Council at least half of your rant is against a private company that is nothing to do with them. However as you repeatedly take every opportunity to remind us of your views on the Public Sector perhaps the fact that this slipped your mind is understandable.

Public sectors workers SELECTED that private company to deliver a SERVICE ( ha ha ha ha ) when that service already worked using pound coins. So YES it IS the fault of the f**king PUBLIC SECTOR 'workers'.
 


FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,365
Crawley
Reminds me of a few years ago when I was Headhunted from a large IT co. (rhymes with Boracle) by another company that we'll call "I've Been Mugged".

On day 1 I enquired about getting my company car - "Oh you need to claim one online".
How do I do that? "You need to log on to the intranet"
I don't have my laptop yet "You'll need to apply for one"
How do I do that? "Via the Intranet"
How do I do that - I don't have a laptop? "You can use one of those screens over there"
OK I'll do that........
Hang on I need a password "You'll need to apply for one on line"
How do I do that - I don't have a laptop - and so I cant use the intranet - and so I cant sign on - so I cant ask for a password - so I cant get a company car .....

"Oooh, we've never come across this before .................."

Me: Where are the Laptops? "They are kept in Basingstoke" (about 45 mins away)
Who has them? "Fred Nobody" (cant remember his name)

So I drove to Basingstoke and set a precedent by actually going to talk to someone, who had a stock of laptops in his office, and collected one from him - and a password.
Got my car later that day ....


I was apparently the first person to do this since they initiated an online system - that patently didn't work!! I'd Been Mugged!!!!

I left after 10 months.
 

beorhthelm

A. Virgo, Football Genius
Jul 21, 2003
35,239
...So I ring up and it says my phone is registered to a number plate that isn't mine...

right there is a hard stop. they've failed. you cant expect a phone to be registered to a single number plate, there's no reason to and every reason to expect someone to drive multiple vehicles (my car, missus car, work car, new car, courtesy car...). therefore the whole system is a design fail.
 


Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Oct 27, 2003
20,923
The arse end of Hangleton
Use the bus.

I could but when I have, I regularly got home at 6.30 - 6.45 as well as having to catch the 7.30 bus in the morning. Alternatively I can pay £200 a year more, leave at about 8.05am and get home for 6pm. I think you might have mistaken me for a PUBLIC SECTOR worker !
 

Westdene Seagull

aka Cap'n Carl Firecrotch
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Oct 27, 2003
20,923
The arse end of Hangleton
I've found the new pay by phone parking system in Brighton super easy to use, I must say. Register once, and then you can park anywhere in the city without having to worry about finding coins for the meter etc etc. I guess it also means that the council (or its contractors) save on having to have people going round collecting money from meters (or losing money from vandalised meters). Plus using the app (downloaded in 5 seconds to your phone if you haven't already got it) means that people like the OP who are so offended by their interaction with public servants can park and pay without having to interact with them at all (a blessing for both sides, I would imagine).

So if it's cheap and easier for the council - i.e. they don't need to send people to collect the cash - why do I have to pay a service charge and why haven't the parking charges dropped ?
 


GT49er

Well-known member
Feb 1, 2009
46,377
Gloucester
Public sectors workers SELECTED that private company to deliver a SERVICE ( ha ha ha ha ) when that service already worked using pound coins. So YES it IS the fault of the f**king PUBLIC SECTOR 'workers'.
Public sector workers wouldn't have had a say in it. In fact they'll probably have been as p1ssed off as you when yet another function was privatised; not very successfully in this case, it would seem. Never mind, somebody somewhere is now making a profit out of it, so that must be good, eh?
 

Mileoakman

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2003
1,047
The name gives it away
As far as I can see Westdene, you think that the Council is rubbish if it runs the service and rubbish if they put it out to the private sector. Can't really win can they.

I've just come back from a holiday in the Lake District where they use a firm called 'Park at Ease'. Twice their meters refused all my credit cards, swallowed my coins without registering them and then when I payed on-line took one of my payments twice. Mind you when I saw that the firm were just a branch of CAPITA, (or Crapita to those of us who have had dealings with them), I'm not really surprised how inefficient and useless that particular private sector company is.

Oh and by the way the reason the parking charges haven't gone down is because the private collection service want their cut.
 

Diablo

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Sep 22, 2014
4,172
lewes
Public sector workers wouldn't have had a say in it. In fact they'll probably have been as p1ssed off as you when yet another function was privatised; not very successfully in this case, it would seem. Never mind, somebody somewhere is now making a profit out of it, so that must be good, eh?

Agree it`s profits and the taxing of them that pay for our Public sector employees....
 


drew

Drew
Oct 3, 2006
22,981
Burgess Hill
So if it's cheap and easier for the council - i.e. they don't need to send people to collect the cash - why do I have to pay a service charge and why haven't the parking charges dropped ?

Probably because then Tories have cut their grant but the residents still expect the same levels of service.
 

glasfryn

cleaning up cat sick
Nov 29, 2005
20,261
somewhere in Eastbourne
Shows how thick people are, they want austerity and spending cuts but don't like the results

wonder if he ever thought about buying a bike?
 

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