There was this chap who was a terrible drunk. His wife said to him "If you go out and get drunk one more time I'm leaving you"
So the next night he's out drunk and is sick all down himself
He says to his friend " Oh no! If I go home like this my wife will leave me."
"Ah what you want to do," says his friend "is take a £20 note and put it in your inside pocket and when she starts shouting you say that some drunk fellow was sick down you and gave you £20 for your dry cleaning, then you show her the note"
"Yes I'm going to do that"
He goes home and sure enough as soon as he's through the door she starts
"You know what I told you if you got drunk again?.."
"Ah wait," he says " this is not my vomit, some other chap was sick on me then gave me this £20 note for my dry cleaning. Look"
"Ok but why have you got 2 £20 notes?"
"The 2nd one is from the chap who shat in my pants"
So the next night he's out drunk and is sick all down himself
He says to his friend " Oh no! If I go home like this my wife will leave me."
"Ah what you want to do," says his friend "is take a £20 note and put it in your inside pocket and when she starts shouting you say that some drunk fellow was sick down you and gave you £20 for your dry cleaning, then you show her the note"
"Yes I'm going to do that"
He goes home and sure enough as soon as he's through the door she starts
"You know what I told you if you got drunk again?.."
"Ah wait," he says " this is not my vomit, some other chap was sick on me then gave me this £20 note for my dry cleaning. Look"
"Ok but why have you got 2 £20 notes?"
"The 2nd one is from the chap who shat in my pants"
