Huple
Unregistered
Buried today in Leicester.. What a tragedy. RIP king Richard.
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
Richard the 3rd is dead
- Thread starter Huple
- Start date
OMG!!!!
RIP RIII
luv n hugs to family (finking of u all)
RIP RIII
luv n hugs to family (finking of u all)
ATOS Declare Richard III Fit For Work.
A leaked email from an ATOS employee, describing the last Plantagenet king as a “lazy *******” and “just pretending to be dead” has been strenuously defended by the French IT firm.
The company that carried out the Work Capability Assessment test on the deceased king, whose remains were found in a car park in 2012, controversially found him capable of working in an office, or performing light manual labour such as driving a forklift truck.
A spokesperson for Atos said:
“Being a withered pile of smelly old bones that have been rotting under a car park for several centuries, is not in itself a reason to sit around all day not working. We have recommended that the King be dug up immediately and placed on a back-to-work scheme, and have his benefits sanctioned for being a blood-sucking, lazy old *******.
The Bishop of Leicester, who led the king’s re-internment ceremony has criticised the ruling, saying:
“This is absolutely disgusting. The man’s been dead since 1485, and is in no state to pack people’s shopping bags or sweep up popcorn at the Odeon. He wouldn’t even make a good security guard for a sleepy village shop. Anyway, we’ve just buried him, and we’re not digging him up again. The poor old corpse won’t know if he’s coming or going. Leave him alone,”
http://beezlystreet.com/2015/03/22/atos-declare-richard-iii-fit-for-work/
A leaked email from an ATOS employee, describing the last Plantagenet king as a “lazy *******” and “just pretending to be dead” has been strenuously defended by the French IT firm.
The company that carried out the Work Capability Assessment test on the deceased king, whose remains were found in a car park in 2012, controversially found him capable of working in an office, or performing light manual labour such as driving a forklift truck.
A spokesperson for Atos said:
“Being a withered pile of smelly old bones that have been rotting under a car park for several centuries, is not in itself a reason to sit around all day not working. We have recommended that the King be dug up immediately and placed on a back-to-work scheme, and have his benefits sanctioned for being a blood-sucking, lazy old *******.
The Bishop of Leicester, who led the king’s re-internment ceremony has criticised the ruling, saying:
“This is absolutely disgusting. The man’s been dead since 1485, and is in no state to pack people’s shopping bags or sweep up popcorn at the Odeon. He wouldn’t even make a good security guard for a sleepy village shop. Anyway, we’ve just buried him, and we’re not digging him up again. The poor old corpse won’t know if he’s coming or going. Leave him alone,”
http://beezlystreet.com/2015/03/22/atos-declare-richard-iii-fit-for-work/
530 years old is way too young. Shocking 
Hampster Gull
New member
- Dec 22, 2010
- 13,462
Ohhh nooo
Bombadier Botty
Complete Twaddle
- Jun 2, 2008
- 3,258
Many flagons of mead will be supped tonight in the King's honour.
In all sincerity though, bloody Cumberbatch being a distant relative! Next we'll be finding out that Eddie Redmayne's a great, great, great, great etc. cousin of Henry VIII. Does anyone get anywhere in the arts these days without getting a Henry VIII style leg up, it's all privilege, privilege, privilege everywhere you turn.
In all sincerity though, bloody Cumberbatch being a distant relative! Next we'll be finding out that Eddie Redmayne's a great, great, great, great etc. cousin of Henry VIII. Does anyone get anywhere in the arts these days without getting a Henry VIII style leg up, it's all privilege, privilege, privilege everywhere you turn.
Henry VIII is dead as well ?!?
RIP H8
RIP H8
- Jan 3, 2012
- 16,580
This may come as a shock to some, but every person who has ever been monarch of our glorious country is dead except for our current Queen.
Looks like a pattern is emerging, DiS. Maybe we should we let the Health and Safety manager know?
Lindfield by the Pond
Well-known member
His last words were "Who fecked up the title of the official battle day thread? Were Loose now!"
Seagulls over Essex
New member
Looks like he had lost weight compared to some of the pictures of him in his prime.
el punal
Well-known member
This is all very well, but who is paying his parking fine?
- Jan 3, 2012
- 16,580
Yes, BN, having done extensive research, reigning monarch seems to be a post like no other where people die in post. The only recent one who escaped this pattern seems to have been Edward VIII in about 1936. Something must be done!
Indeed. It looks like being the monarch is an incredibly dangerous occupation and frankly I fear for the queen. She should be forced to wear a hard hat instead of just a crown when doing knighthoods in case the recipient wrenches the sword out of her hand, kills her and claims the throne for themselves.
(Actually I quite enjoyed that programme on C4 last night)
El Sid
Well-known member
What a load of old shite.
Tens (hundreds?) of thousands of pounds spent parading and burying a bag of bones that may or may not belong to some 15th century child strangler. I fully expect a minutes applause at the Norwich game.
Tens (hundreds?) of thousands of pounds spent parading and burying a bag of bones that may or may not belong to some 15th century child strangler. I fully expect a minutes applause at the Norwich game.
el punal
Well-known member
I've a hunch that this might happen.