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Ralf Little - Clarke Carlisle



smudge

Up the Albion!
Jul 8, 2003
7,360
On the ocean wave
Checked to see if anyone as mentioned this before posting & didn't see anything, so thought I'd post this.
So, is he kicking a man while he's down, or just being honest with his opinion?
Below taken from Ralf Little's "Twitlong" after a bit of online chat on Twitter between the pair.

Clarke context and comments

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First and foremost, and I should know this by now, twitter is not the place for this sort of thing, as it takes more than 140 characters to talk about anything seriously. So already I wish I hadn’t said anything, not because I regret the comment, but because the choice of forum was wrong and frankly understandable if people are riled up.

Next thing is, I don’t suddenly want to air a list of grievances that sound sensationalist and do some tabloid’s job for them. Clarke and I have history, that involves money, lies, on one notable occasion me being interrogated by the police over something I knew nothing about… and all sorts of other stuff.

Now, when it comes to mental illness, I understand it, I’ve lived around it, I’ve supported it, I fight against the stigmatization of it and so on. I think it’s a very real issue with a long road to go to combat it.

So that said, on to this case… It’s extremely difficult to watch someone repeatedly ruin other people’s lives, then explain it in such a way that makes them immune to criticism. And it keeps happening. It’s now reached a point where, as this proves, it’s like emotional touch paper. And sure, I’m not a professional expert on mental health, and no doubt, neither are you. But I know more about this particular case than you do just because you read about it in the Sun, or saw a documentary.

There comes a point where it’s just frustrating to witness someone constantly hammering the pattern of destruction for those around – and I was once one of those around - only to see the destructive force make a moving and sincere apology… then do it again.

(On reflection, that’s the nature of addiction/illness, and I know that all too well, but as I say, a rash tweet and it’s not the place for it. )

I should also say that during the course of this twitter… whatever it is, Clarke has been in touch with a retrospective apology over things that went on a long time ago, and I think that has to be respected by all, myself included.

Anyway... You have to be in a dark place to attempt suicide, and only a fool would suggest otherwise. However, I do find myself thinking that when you’ve been driving drunk five (is it?) times, risking lives of countless other people, and even in your darkest hour still manage to involve a lorry driver who could have died himself, and now has to live with that trauma and memory every day fro the REST of his life… Personally my stores of empathy start to dry up after a while.

Am I really that out of order for suggesting that’s not on? Do we repeatedly overlook reckless destruction of other lives beacause someone apologizes, again and again, and says it’s an illness? Isn't there a point where we can go, "enough is enough"?

I hate drink driving, I really do. I know victims of it, who have died, been paralysed, or lost loved ones, and I’ve watched this man get caught doing it several times then publicly forgiven, lauded, and handed a bloody good career! I’m sorry but that annoys me!

And I think that’s my overriding feeling. I don’t feel sad for Clarke any more, I was drained of that some time ago. Instead I feel sad, and maybe a little angry, for Gemma, and the kids, and the lorry driver, and the people who dived out of the way of the car all those years ago, and all the other people who have been ****ed over and over and over… you know who you are.

Of course I wish Clarke a strong recovery – and not just from the crash. It would be a better world if he and all other sufferers of such an insidious disease could find a way to fight the good fight. But when he does end up facing the drink driving charges, this time around, I hope, not least out of respect for the hundreds of drink driving victims who tweet me every year, they throw the book at him.

I don’t think that makes me a ****, or gobshite, or a wanker, or any other delightful name some of you came up with, but hey it’s a free country.

Though, as a final thought, I would say again, I’m a fool for forgetting that twitter is not, and never will be, the place for a comment like that. It’s too reductive and simplistic, and yes, without context, I can see it would seem insensitive and crass. Not my intention.

I’m going to bed.
 

The Fifth Column

Retired ex-cop
Nov 30, 2010
4,002
Escaped from Corruption
Im sure the reactions and comment from those on the inside like Ralf Little will be a long way away from those of us who just see the headlines and simply think, Ah poor Clark Carlisle he's suffering from depression, how dreadful. It just goes to highlight how impactive and often destructive this illness really is.
 

smudge

Up the Albion!
Jul 8, 2003
7,360
On the ocean wave
I seem to remember Adam Virgo having something to say about Mr Carlisle on Twitter a fair while ago & thinking "ouch".
 

severnside gull

Well-known member
May 16, 2007
24,540
By the seaside in West Somerset
I would like to think I have some empathy with Carlisle and his response to feeling that his past behaviour was inescapably catching up with him but his way of electing to end his life by ruining someone else's was very much symptomatic of my understanding of the man and of his disregard for others whether it be his family or the driver of the lorry he jumped in front of. Little is right in holding his hands up. Twitter by its nature is not the forum to air his views. However for anyone looking behind the headlines his views deserve to be aired.
 


Brighton Boy

New member
Nov 11, 2003
2,463
Lancing
Absolutely agree with Ralf Little. When people suffer from depression and attempt something like this their family's support you because they love and care for you.

However, when you potentially put another family's future/feelings on the line then that's where it goes to far.

Also, selling your story about your "suicide failure" probably doesn't make the lorry drivers friends and family feel any better, especially if the consequences were worse for the driver.
 

lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
Jun 11, 2011
13,664
Worthing
I didn't realise he been nicked 5times for drink driving. I agree with Ralf, if he has been caught 5times how many times has he got away with it? If he has a problem with booze/mental problems, then he should get rid of his car before he kills somebody
 

Mr Banana

Tedious chump
Aug 8, 2005
5,481
Standing in the way of control
As a term, depression is very broadly bandied about these days - it's very fashionable for people to claim they have it. Which is not to say that Clark Carlisle doesn't, but I feel that someone who drink-drives five times probably has a lot more energy and far fewer hang-ups about upsetting people than the average depression sufferer.
 


mikeyjh

Well-known member
Dec 17, 2008
4,472
Llanymawddwy
Little has shown he knows significantly less about mental illness than he thinks he does. His whole piece supposes that Carlisle was in control and simply needed to make the right choices which is both patronising and wrong. Carlisle doesn't need the empathy that Little somehow thinks he could offer, he needs help and support.
 

Husty

Mooderator
Oct 18, 2008
11,968
Little has shown he knows significantly less about mental illness than he thinks he does. His whole piece supposes that Carlisle was in control and simply needed to make the right choices which is both patronising and wrong. Carlisle doesn't need the empathy that Little somehow thinks he could offer, he needs help and support.

Needs sectioning if he doesn't have that amount of control. 5 times. FIVE.
 


Shipley8312

New member
Aug 12, 2014
119
having read this letter i can see why ralf took a personal interest in this

but in the wider picture i believe that no one should escape the law just because they attempt suicide or claim illness

suicide is a purely selfish act that damages the people around them this i know as a family member of someone who has attempted suicide
 

Megazone

On his last warning
Jan 28, 2015
8,679
Northern Hemisphere.
Ralf little clearly has little regard towards mental health when he is questioning the decision making of a man suffering from mental illness.

It's like not being able to understand why an alcoholic keeps missing their rent and instead just assume they are being selfish.
 
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Greyrun

New member
Feb 23, 2009
1,074
From personal experience Clarke is doing all the thing which are guaranteed to exacerbate his condition, although suffering he should take responsibility to avoid drink, drugs and gambling and anything else that is going to drag him down.Thought Ralfs comments were fair.
 

m20gull

Well-known member
Jun 10, 2004
3,412
Land of the Chavs
From personal experience Clarke is doing all the thing which are guaranteed to exacerbate his condition, although suffering he should take responsibility to avoid drink, drugs and gambling and anything else that is going to drag him down.Thought Ralfs comments were fair.

I agree that Ralf's comments are well balanced. The problem with mental illness (including depression) is that it impairs your judgement and decisions that might seem easy from the outside (avoid drink, drugs, gambling or driving) are just not that easy on the inside.
 


Iggle Piggle

Well-known member
Sep 3, 2010
5,259
One thing Ralf has got right is that his missus is a saint. He is an Alcoholic with Gambling addicition and had at least one suicide attempt having fell off the wagon multiple times. Many people would have given up with him ages ago especially bringing up kids in the mix - It's hard enough when both of you are fully functioning. Can't imagine living with him has been a barrel of laughs.
 

Greyrun

New member
Feb 23, 2009
1,074
I agree that Ralf's comments are well balanced. The problem with mental illness (including depression) is that it impairs your judgement and decisions that might seem easy from the outside (avoid drink, drugs, gambling or driving) are just not that easy on the inside.

I accept it is not easy and the release you get from your troubles by having a drink is so tempting only to crash even lower the next day.As someone on the inside I just believe their has to be a degree of personal responsibility in order to improve your situation.
 

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