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Lets have more fun/jokes



Diablo

Well-known member
NSC Licker Extraordinaire
Sep 22, 2014
4,172
lewes
All recent threads Political/Race orientated/Bemoaning Football team. Lets have some jokes to make us smile...I like this..

An RAF fighter plane was flying over Afghanistan when he noticed a flying carpet on each side of his plane both with a machine gunner on board. Sensing danger he shot them down. Back at base he got a right bollocking - apparently they were Allied Carpets!
 

essbee

New member
Jan 5, 2005
3,656
I love your green jokes. That's plenty of re-cycling.

Perhaps we can also have jokes that are less than 100 years old?
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,655
Worthing
An RAF fighter plane was flying over Afghanistan when he noticed a flying carpet on each side of his plane both with a machine gunner on board. Sensing danger he shot them down. Back at base he got a right bollocking - apparently they were Allied Carpets!

I do not believe a man on a carpet can actually propel himself through the air at any speed whatsoever. This story might have been believable if the carpets were on water because they might have had a sale on.
 

Raleigh Chopper

New member
Sep 1, 2011
12,054
Plymouth
Last week I was working in a customers house, she used to live in Windsor, I used to live in Ascot, turns out we both had past associations with a certain chocolate company based in Slough, she had a boyfriend whose name was Robert Rocket who worked for that company.

He was driving to work when he was pulled over by the police for speeding.
"What's your name sir" asked the copper.
"Rocket" replies the boyfriend.
"And where are you going sir" the copper asks.
"I am going to Mars" was the reply.
He was arrested and taken to the station.
 


Mo Gosfield

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2010
6,268
How do you scale a giant thermometer?

You climate. :wrong:


Talking of Colemanballs, has anything ever beaten these......

1) " and Juanterena opens his legs and shows his class "
2) " and Donna Hartley held firm as the giant Russian came inside her "

Priceless!
 


Mo Gosfield

Well-known member
Aug 11, 2010
6,268
Two old boys sitting on a park bench and one says to the other....
" What was the name of that racing driver that got badly burnt? "
" He was Hill wasn't he? "
" Yes, spent weeks getting rebuilt "
" What, the track or him?
" Him, you idiot and anyway Hill died in a plane crash, didn't he?"
" Hill? I never mentioned Hill "
" Yes you did... just now...you're getting old "
" Like you then and anyway, he did die in a plane crash, didn't he? "
" No, he's still around running his airline, isn't he? "
" What, like that Austrian guy?"
" Which Austrian guy ? "
" Lauda "
" WHICH AUSTRIAN GUY? "
" Lauda, Lauda, for Christ Sake Lauda "
" You wanna get your hearing fixed as well "
 


BHAryan

BHAryan
Feb 8, 2011
565
Worthing
Ronaldo has agreed to play a game against the England team, when he asked if he wanted a team to play with he merely refused and insisted to take them on alone- 1 vs 11. The Portuguese staff are all back at home watching live updates and they see that he takes the lead after 1 minute. The game is settled when Wayne Rooney scores in the 90th minute to make it 1-1 and the game finishes a draw. The Portugaese coaches are all over the moon and can't thank ronaldo enough. They goto congratulate him and he is extremely annoyed. They said that 1-1 was still unbelievable and to be proud of himself. "No. No" he said "I'm upset because I was sent off after 9 minutes"
 

Megazone

On his last warning
Jan 28, 2015
8,679
Northern Hemisphere.
There was a cannibal standing next to a pile of shit looking pretty depressed.

A man walks up to him and asks "why the long face?"

He replies " just dumped my girlfriend"
 


tip top

Kandidate
Jun 27, 2007
1,883
dunno I'm lost
It's a bad Valentine's Day when the lamppost by the pub gets more cards and flowers than I do.
 

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