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Dad jokes



Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,198
The Fatherland
My (Tory) father is a fine deliverer of dad jokes. When I mentioned I was attending a Labour Party meeting he asked if I would be lonely, and whether the meeting was being held in a telephone box. And a perennial favourite is to say "that's worth about 5 pence" whenever a price is mentioned/provided in euros.

I do like old school dad jokes, so what are your favourites?
 


Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
My Dad used to say when I asked him to take me to the swimming pool "OK, but if you drown I'll never take you again". Tw*t.
 


Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation
Oct 2, 2013
10,201
The Race Hill
On the haircut front.....'Are you going to have your ears lowered'? swiftly followed upon return by 'Tell me who did that to you and I'll get 'em'
 


Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
24,721
Worthing
"Pull my finger quick"
 


Lindfield by the Pond

Well-known member
Jan 10, 2009
1,886
Lindfield (near the pond)
When asked how long will something be? followed by up by outstretched arms "about that long"!! Sooooo frustrating - every time without fail.
 












cjd

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2006
6,069
La Rochelle
My (Tory) father is a fine deliverer of dad jokes. When I mentioned I was attending a Labour Party meeting he asked if I would be lonely, and whether the meeting was being held in a telephone box. And a perennial favourite is to say "that's worth about 5 pence" whenever a price is mentioned/provided in euros.

I do like old school dad jokes, so what are your favourites?

Quite stunned to hear your father can get a word in edgeways when you are around.
 








My favourite (C) Tommy Cooper is frequently trotted out when Younger Pottings complain of aches or pains - "Does it hurt when you do that?" - "Don't do it then".
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,782
Playing snooker
"I wish you'd never been born. In fact, the day you arrived was the day any last vestige of hope and ambition I had for myself was sucked out of me, condemning me to an existence of futile drudgery and mind-numbing tedium."
 






skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
Dad, Dad the Teacher at School says I've a big head. Never mind Son, just nip down to Mears's and get 14 lb of potatoes, use your cap.
 


jay d

jay d n coke
Nov 16, 2014
833
brighton
When me or my brothers had our teenage tantrums , I quiet often herd his mates etc say " whats got in to him " the reply would always be,

" oh he's still sulking cos I shaged his mother "
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,198
The Fatherland


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 11, 2003
59,198
The Fatherland
On the haircut front.....'Are you going to have your ears lowered'? swiftly followed upon return by 'Tell me who did that to you and I'll get 'em'

A classic dad joke
 




Simgull

Well-known member
Jan 3, 2013
1,637
Hove
my son told me my new year's resolution should be not to tell any more jokes.

So for the record..Did you here the one about the German Sausage? Its the wurst joke ever.
 





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