Adebayo Akinfenwa would take the crown, compress it into a stylish ring using only his bare hands, and walk away victorious.
El-Abd would turn up and give plenty of verbal, a few head rubs and the occasional push but as soon as Akinfenwa touches him he'd rolling on the floor as if a sniper took him down. This is said from the viewpoint of someone that actually likes him, he was (is?) a great wind up merchant but seemingly terrible at actually taking it back.