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The Most Appalling Halftime Entertainment



el punal

Well-known member
While NSC is on negativity overdrive at the moment I thought this little hoot might bring a bit of Christmas jollity and fun. That is, for you to come up with (in your view) the most awful, cringe making, toe curling embarrassing act that could do a halftime set at the Amex.

The idea for this act of masochism/sadism was based on darling Cliff Richard doing his impromptu sing-a-long at Wimbledon some years back.

So please, bring forth to the table your plate of entertainment poo, be it singers, bands, jugglers, dancers or whatever. :xmas:
 






Ipswich_Crazy

New member
Dec 14, 2014
15
At Portman Road, we used to have "team dance routines" from this group of local kids. The smallest must have weighed 10 stone. The blokes who used to come on and fork the divots back on the pitch once had to come on with a load of topsoil in a wheelbarrow after they'd finished.

It was like a young version of the Roly Poly's from those '80's Les Dawson-type shows.
 


DarrenFreemansPerm

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Sep 28, 2010
17,328
Shoreham
At Portman Road, we used to have "team dance routines" from this group of local kids. The smallest must have weighed 10 stone. The blokes who used to come on and fork the divots back on the pitch once had to come on with a load of topsoil in a wheelbarrow after they'd finished.

It was like a young version of the Roly Poly's from those '80's Les Dawson-type shows.

:lol:
 








Igzilla

Well-known member
Sep 27, 2012
1,641
Worthing
"The True Story of the Nazi-Soviet Pact", as told through the medium of mime by the Sami Hyypia Performance Company.

However, I would rather prefer a fan's penalty shoot out (anyone remember Nigel's belly flop at the Goldstone?)
 






Shropshire Seagull

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2004
8,477
Telford
Anyone at Bristol Rovers about 5 years ago. FDM [sub keeper warming up at h/t] very nearly got into a fight with the pitch-fork waving ground staff who kept "repairing" the pitch where is was kicking the ball.

Quite feisty, very amusing .... but not really appalling.


Also not appalling, at Stoke, must be 10 years ago, the England amputee football team played a kick-about during half time - mighty impressive how one legged players whizzing about on crutches were able to play footie - respect!
 






Superphil

Dismember
Jul 7, 2003
25,398
In a pile of football shirts
There was a Shoddy Elvis at Watford once wasn't there?
 








withdeanwombat

Well-known member
Feb 17, 2005
8,690
Somersetshire
Highlights of the first half!

But it's a fifteen minute break. I suppose you could have the ref blowing for half time on a loop.

My choice would be a marching band, say from Haywards Heath or somewhere, playing great songs such as GOSBTS. If they had snow shoes on they could flatten the divots, thus cutting costs and helping us meet FFP standards.
 




edna krabappel

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
47,228
Where did David Van Day sing at half-time? MIlton Keynes franchise?
At least the abuse he got was entertaining.

I think I remember that.

How low budget can you get? :lolol:
 


dejavuatbtn

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
7,128
Henfield
Can't for the life of me remember where but some years ago at an away game they had this fans thing at half time where they would get someone to hold a broom handle to their head and spin round in circles to make them dizzy. They then had to take a penalty kick. Bizarre!
 






cheshunt seagull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
2,486
I seem to remember the UK ball-juggling (or something like that) champion running on to the Goldstone pitch to demonstrate his talents only to be met with a barrage of boos as he was wearing something resembling palace colours. In the 5-0 nightmare at Selhurst I also recall some fat local failing to win a car by some margin in a shooting contest.

More of a promotion than entertainment, but in an 80s North London derby at White Hart Lane I saw Linda Lusardi walking around the pitch, inappropriately dressed for the weather, throwing bags of nuts into the crowd.
 



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