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Thread: The Tax Man

  1. #1
    Uckfield Seagull I remember the good times's Avatar
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    The Tax Man


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    Thought I'd share this with you to cheer up those with a 9 to 5 job.
    I'm self employed and have 4 staff on PAYE. I have to send weekly reports to the HMRC about their earnings. Then every quarter I have to pay HMRC all tax & N.I. due. Unfortunately I took a well deserved holiday in October and missed filing two pay slips plus I was late paying the tax due (by late I mean 16 days and £1146 was due). Well how could I do this as I'm on holiday? Another beer please and sun cream my back. I've been fined and told not to do it again or the fine will be higher. I asked the girl what I could do and she replied, in all seriousness, don't go on holiday when payments are due!
    I wonder if the tax man, or girl in this case, live in the real world?

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    • #2
      Drew drew's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by I remember the good times View Post
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      Thought I'd share this with you to cheer up those with a 9 to 5 job.
      I'm self employed and have 4 staff on PAYE. I have to send weekly reports to the HMRC about their earnings. Then every quarter I have to pay HMRC all tax & N.I. due. Unfortunately I took a well deserved holiday in October and missed filing two pay slips plus I was late paying the tax due (by late I mean 16 days and £1146 was due). Well how could I do this as I'm on holiday? Another beer please and sun cream my back. I've been fined and told not to do it again or the fine will be higher. I asked the girl what I could do and she replied, in all seriousness, don't go on holiday when payments are due!
      I wonder if the tax man, or girl in this case, live in the real world?
      Would they not accept a payment earlier than the due date, ie before you went on holiday?
    • #3
      Sexy Pete... :D Worthingite's Avatar
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      Could you not have left the stuff for one of your staff to submit?
      I can take the despair, it's the hope I can't stand......
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      Not in Surrey surrey jim's Avatar
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      Eit: misread
      You can tell them all that we'll stand or fall for Sussex by the Sea
    • #5
      Members Grapes of Wrath's Avatar
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      The due dates and the penalty for missing them are quite clear, so no excuses really and no sympathy I am afraid.

      Maybe not the best analogy, but if you are late getting back to your car and the time on the ticket has expired, you should not be surprised to find yourself with a parking ticket. Whether you like them or not, rules are rules.
    • #6
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      Don't really understand the issue here. If you know the due date, and the payment amount, even if you don't want to pay in advance it's a trivial matter to set up an electronic payment which will go automatically on the required date. Failing that, you could have logged on to your account while on holiday and made the payment.

      Don't see what being on holiday has to do with it. If you run a business, you set up systems (human or electronic) to deal with this kind of thing, and you can still go on holiday. Presumably your staff still get paid while you're on holiday, so why not the tax man?
    • #7
      Primary data is fact Alex, Alex Dawson oo! oo!'s Avatar
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      Have you looked at the comparative cost to the business of what you do currently and:

      1) Contracting out the payroll function.
      2) Switching to a monthly payroll.
      3) Both 1 & 2.
      57 years of watching the Albion
    • #8
      Take me Home Falmer Road Dick Knights Mumm's Avatar
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      I know David Gill - when he joined Man U he had to break the news to the players they were moving from weekly to a monthly payroll.
    • #9
      5 millionth post poster Gazwag's Avatar
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      1. Why on earth do you run your payroll on a weekly basis, since the start of RTI anybody who didn't convert to monthly is silly.

      2. Why didn't you run your payroll early, you can file RTI reports in advance.

      3. You know when your liabilities are due no excuse for not paying on time, its easy to set up a bank payment a month in advance.

      4. You wonder if the tax man live in the real world, I wonder if you do
    • #10
      Members Herr Tubthumper's Avatar
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      I'm in Team Tax Man on this one I think. I'm struggling to see the OP's point.
      "I will design a town in the image of your face. Round the wrinkles of your eyes my footsteps you can trace. We could promenade down infra-nasel depression. The streets of your hands will never feel a recession."

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