As we don't seem to be able to buy anyone at the moment how about starting the Buy A Player Fund again! Perhaps Bert Murray is available? Has Tony Bloom got a cash flow problem and can't afford the £8m to finance FFP losses?
Bert Murray lived at Rottingdean and he would often be in the public call box (kids - ask your parents) at the top of Meadow Close. I assume he must have had a phone at home - so I am not sure who he was speaking to.