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An open letter to the bloke that stole my pint



pastafarian

pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
Dear :censored:head

You utter utter :censored:

I queued up for hours for that :censored:ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz

what sort of :censored:wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after for a bit of celebration.

I bet you wear tight denim shorts you mong,the ones with the turn ups like a hipster Jimmy Saville,your Rolf Harris beard simply rounds of your utter prickknobishness.

I really hope you zip up your :censored:,expose flesh and fall into a vat of chilli with 15 million on the scoville scale

I will now be wizzing in every pint i buy.........steal at your peril.....you have been warned!
 




Tricky Dicky

Tricky Dicky

New member
Jul 27, 2004
13,558
Sunny Shoreham
pastafarian said:
Dear :censored:head

You utter utter :censored:

I queued up for hours for that :censored:ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz

what sort of :censored:wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after for a bit of celebration.

I bet you wear tight denim shorts you mong,the ones with the turn ups like a hipster Jimmy Saville,your Rolf Harris beard simply rounds of your utter prickknobishness.

I really hope you zip up your :censored:,expose flesh and fall into a vat of chilli with 15 million on the scoville scale

I will now be wizzing in every pint i buy.........steal at your peril.....you have been warned!
Click to expand...

I think you have anger issues. Calm, calm, calm.
 




















Phat Baz 68

Phat Baz 68

Get a ****ing life mate !
Apr 16, 2011
5,023
Wipes mouth with massive grin on face whilst rubbing large belly !!! :ohmy::albion2:
 










D

Deleted member 22389

Guest
pastafarian said:
Dear :censored:head

You utter utter :censored:

I queued up for hours for that :censored:ing thing only for you to pinch it whilst my guard was down and going for a wizz

what sort of :censored:wit are you,im sure during the week you rob pensioners of their war medals and shag your sister after for a bit of celebration.

I bet you wear tight denim shorts you mong,the ones with the turn ups like a hipster Jimmy Saville,your Rolf Harris beard simply rounds of your utter prickknobishness.

I really hope you zip up your :censored:,expose flesh and fall into a vat of chilli with 15 million on the scoville scale

I will now be wizzing in every pint i buy.........steal at your peril.....you have been warned!
Click to expand...

I'm afraid mate there is some real scum bags around. Some **** was driving down the wrong side of the road trying to park on the way home from the football last night. He didn't like it because I was coming up the road, so what he did was get back in to his normal lane, as he passed me he swerved for me and nearly hit my car.

I went fing mad, if I didn't have to pick my wife up I would have gone to have a chat with him. Dangerous fcker who shouldn't be on the road. You get them everywhere. In your case, if you can't be bothered to wait just pinch someones else drink. Scum bags. I know how you feel.
 




pastafarian

pastafarian

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2011
11,902
Sussex
bashlsdir said:
I'm afraid mate there is some real scum bags around. Some **** was driving down the wrong side of the road trying to park on the way home from the football last night. He didn't like it because I was coming up the road, so what he did was get back in to his normal lane, as he passed me he swerved for me and nearly hit my car.

I went fing mad, if I didn't have to pick my wife up I would have gone to have a chat with him. Dangerous fcker who shouldn't be on the road. You get them everywhere. In your case, if you can't be bothered to wait just pinch someones else drink. Scum bags. I know how you feel.
Click to expand...

I find your elongated story somewhat out of place......what are you hiding? (suspect no.4)
 




HastingsSeagull

HastingsSeagull

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2010
9,257
BGC Manila
I have a theory here :)

Maybe Paul Barber spotted an unattended pint and sold it in the away end for FFP profits, or else if you left it with mates they probably did him a deal and you need better mates.
 


MarioOrlandi

MarioOrlandi

New member
Jun 4, 2013
580
Wear bright red lipstick, take a swig and if you leave said pint and it is pinched you can find the scumbag easily enough 😎
 








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