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Kids in North Stand, time to change offensive words in "My Old Man"song



Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews

Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews

Remainer
Mar 19, 2007
7,060
The Graveyard & The Ballroom
Now Little Jack (5) is showing an interest in singing, I asked him if he wanted to go "where the action is" as opposed to the FS where we presently sit.

I have a massive problem though with the choice of words in the "my old man said....." song so I propose the following changes to avoid offence :






Firstly, insert the word IF to the start of the first line, so it then went "if my old man said be a Palace fan..."

Then change the start of the second line to I'D SAY instead of I said I.e "I'd say f*** off, b*******, you're a ****"


Won't someone please think of the parents!
 










Bedsex

Bedsex

not my real name
Jan 29, 2009
1,885
Flitwick
But with those new words you're alienating those whose fathers actually did suggest they support that horrible bunch up the road and received short shrift for such a preposterous proposal!
 




Guinness Boy

Guinness Boy

Tofu eating wokerati
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
Jul 23, 2003
34,202
Up and Coming Sunny Portslade
Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews said:
Now Little Jack (5) is showing an interest in singing, I asked him if he wanted to go "where the action is" as opposed to the FS where we presently sit.

I have a massive problem though with the choice of words in the "my old man said....." song so I propose the following changes to avoid offence :






Firstly, insert the word IF to the start of the first line, so it then went "if my old man said be a Palace fan..."

Then change the start of the second line to I'D SAY instead of I said I.e "I'd say f*** off, b*******, you're a ****"


Won't someone please think of the parents!
Click to expand...

Tremendous work
 


B

Brovion

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,374
Bedsex said:
But with those new words you're alienating those whose fathers actually did suggest they support that horrible bunch up the road and received short shrift for such a preposterous proposal!
Click to expand...
Indeed! My Dad, a lifelong Palace fan (as was his father before him), really DID tell me to be a Palace fan. I replied .... Oh really father I'd much rather support Brighton.

But yeah, good OP. I thought from the thread title it was going to be another sanctimonious **** telling us what is and isn't acceptable behaviour at football nowadays.
 














Leighgull

Leighgull

New member
Dec 27, 2012
2,377
If my old man said "be a palace fan" I'd say "but you supported Tottenham" then I'd say, "anyway, you died last year"
 


E

emphyrian

Active member
May 25, 2004
424
Woodingdean
Ive moved myself and seven year old son to North stand from WSU as i don't think he learnt enough swear words and phrases over the last three seasons.
 






thisistips

thisistips

New member
Oct 17, 2010
607
Away away away
Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews said:
Now Little Jack (5) is showing an interest in singing, I asked him if he wanted to go "where the action is" as opposed to the FS where we presently sit.

I have a massive problem though with the choice of words in the "my old man said....." song so I propose the following changes to avoid offence :






Firstly, insert the word IF to the start of the first line, so it then went "if my old man said be a Palace fan..."

Then change the start of the second line to I'D SAY instead of I said I.e "I'd say f*** off, b*******, you're a ****"


Won't someone please think of the parents!
Click to expand...

Brilliant post! "I'd say no way matey your a chump"

or "Get lost mister you're a dunce"

Both would enhance the song in a parent friendly way.

Alternatively, you could just say "What you hear at football stays at football, don't tell your mother"
 


thisistips

thisistips

New member
Oct 17, 2010
607
Away away away
emphyrian said:
Ive moved myself and seven year old son to North stand from WSU as i don't think he learnt enough swear words and phrases over the last three seasons.
Click to expand...

This is one of the highlights of going to the football when you're a kid. I think I was seven or eight first time at the Goldstone. It is the first time I remember hearing an adult swear. Some 38 years later I can still remember it: "message for you ref ... **** off", with perfect comedy timing.
 


M

matski_98

Well-known member
Apr 16, 2012
531
My boy (8) and I have been season ticket holders in the North Stand for a couple of years now and he shouts and sings along to all the songs (he's especially keen on telling the GK how good he's been when he takes a goal kick!). We have an understanding that "what happens at football stays at football" which is another way of saying "don't tell mum". :)
 


dazzer6666

dazzer6666

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Mar 27, 2013
52,479
Burgess Hill
Great post :clap:

First match I ever took my lad to when he started to show an interest (BHTFC back in the days when their support was more vocal), poor ref decision led to the usual 'the referee's a w*****' chant.

'Dad, what's a w****** ? Any why is the referee one ?'

.....he just is son, they all are. :D
 


Leighgull

Leighgull

New member
Dec 27, 2012
2,377
matski_98 said:
My boy (8) and I have been season ticket holders in the North Stand for a couple of years now and he shouts and sings along to all the songs (he's especially keen on telling the GK how good he's been when he takes a goal kick!). We have an understanding that "what happens at football stays at football" which is another way of saying "don't tell mum". :)
Click to expand...

It's a rite of passage. Everyone knows that mums are in charge of logistics and dads are in charge of team morale.
 


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